Johann Hari: The management consultancy scam

[Phil The Cat]

"We were proud of the way we used to make things up as we went along", he says. "It's like robbing a bank but legal"

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/johann-hari/johann-hari-the-management-consultancy-scam-2057127.html

Management Consultant - noun: any of various flat or tape-like worms of the class Cestoidea, lacking an alimentary canal, and parasitic when adult in the alimentary canal of humans and other vertebrates: the larval and adult stages are usually in different hosts.

Using randomly selected "data" and meaningless jargon, a management consultant helps businesses and government agencies achieve cost savings (which can then be applied to consultancy fees) by destroying jobs, morale, integrity, and ultimately the existence itself of the enterprise.

A management consultant typically invades their host using conferences, slick brochures, and Power Point slides. Should these routes fail, they may resort to bribes of cash, gifts (such as premium tickets to major sports and entertainment events), and sexual favors.

Once the host is infected by a management consultant, he (or, on occasion, she) begins producing toxins, in the form of charts, graphs, and reports. These toxins, which disguise themselves as "steps to efficiency", begin to sicken their host through layoffs of useful employees and the destruction of incentive in the remaining employees.

Ultimately, the quality of the products of the host begins to suffer quality issues, frequently leading to loss of revenue and the death of the host itself. The management consultant then proceeds to consume mass quantities of Kobe beef and Patron Tequila while seeking its next victim.

[Phil The Cat]

1. Management Consultants - the REAL WMDs

From the article:

And yet, and yet... you almost have to admire the rancid chutzpah of it. As the management consultant Bruce Henderson once sniggered: "Can you think of anything more improbable than taking the world's most successful firms and hiring people just fresh out of school and telling them how to run their businesses – and to pay millions of pounds for this advice?" It's tempting to chuckle at the absurdity – until you realise the cack-handed consultants' scythe could come for you.

[SpiralHawk]

2. Stop the Consulting Adults from building a Conference Center!

It's is a well-known fact that Consulting Adults are, um, doing stuff that -- looked at through the GlennBeckian Reality Filter -- we can all agree are a convenient new target for hate.

Down with Consulting Adults!

American needs a Crusade to stop the Consulting Adults before they place another one of their so-called Conference Centers on Holy Ground, from whence they will propogate their so-called 'data.'

But there is no mention of 'data' in the GosSpells. That should be your first clue right there, Bunky. No need to say anything further.

Down down down with Consulting Adults !

[LARED]

3. Great article. nt

[Phil The Cat]

4. It's sad and it's sick

How much destruction to human lives one greedy, arrogant frat boy with a laptop and a nice suit can do!

We don't need to send armed troops after Al Qaeda and the Taliban - we need to send efficiency "experts"!

They'll be downsized to nothingness in no time flat!