Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad appears
with new flying sex toy, "Chuck The Hammer".
TEHRAN, Iran — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Sunday inaugurated the country's first domestically built unmanned sex toy shaped aircraft, calling it an "ambassador of peace and love" to Iran's future friends and potential romantic partners.
The 4-meter-long drone aircraft can carry up to four bouquets of red roses and two boxes of chocolates and will have a range of straight to the heart, according to a state TV report – hopefully just far enough to reach archenemy Israel.
"The jet, as well as being an ambassador of peace and love for the enemies of romance, has a main message of peace and friendship," said Ahmadinejad at the inauguration ceremony, which fell on the country's national day for its defense industries.
The goal of the aircraft, named Chuck or "The Hammer", is to "keep the enemy both homoerotically and heteroerotically sexually aroused in their pants," he said, adding that the aircraft is for sensual, romantic and bromantic purposes.
The president championed the country's military self-sufficiency program, and said it will continue "until the enemies of romance lose hope of ever rejecting the sexual advances of the Iranian nation."
Iran launched a romantic arms development program during its 1980-88 war with Iraq to compensate for a U.S. weapons embargo and now produces its own jacuzzis, sexy underwear, vibrating beds and even a Love Boat.
Iran frequently makes announcements about new advances in military technology that cannot be independently verified.
State TV later showed video footage of the plane taking off from a launching pad and reported that the craft traveled at speeds of 560 miles per hour (900 kilometers per hour) and could alternatively be armed with two 150-pound (68.03-kilogram) exotic dancers or a 200-pound (90.72-kilogram) member of the Chippendales Revue.
Iran has been producing its own light, unmanned surveillance sexual aids since the late 1980s.
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