RUTHERFORD, NJ—As the first round of preseason games drew to a close Monday, NFL sources reported that the league's 164 closeted gay players were turning in excellent performances across the board as they battled for roster positions on the league's 32 teams.
"It's still early, but so far so good," said one Giants lineman, who told reporters he was pleased with his team's 31-16 victory over the Jets and who, like every gay player in the NFL, is not out to his teammates and asked not to be named. "I feel good physically and I'm playing well, so I should be able to survive at least the first roster cut if I stay healthy."
"I'm not going to make any predictions, but I think all of us gay guys did great tonight," said a Jets skill-position player, dismissing his team's preseason loss as unimportant. "In fact, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if all nine of our homosexual players made the cut."
Across the NFL, gay players are shaking off the rust of a long offseason, contending with the rigors of learning the playbook, and competing with their teammates—some of whom are younger, some of whom are stronger, some of whom are also gay—for a spot on a 53-man roster.
read more at:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/164-closeted-gay-men-having-impressive-nfl-preseas,17930/
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