Do gay pets go to heaven?

[MoonRiver]

Yes, this is an important discussion, among the lunatic fringe. :crazy:

http://christwire.org/2010/04/do-gay-pets-go-to-heaven/

[ThomasQED]

1. Why would they have a gay pet?

Can't they send their gay pets to reeducation camps?

[MoonRiver]

3. Inquiring minds want to know!

:D

[activa8tr]

24. So many gay pets, so few re-education camps... it's a never ending

problem for the fundamentalists. They have all they can do to fill those camps with humans...not much space left over for the Collies.

[ThomasQED]

38. I bet your post title

is something you never thought you'd say ;-)

[Contrary1]

40. I think there is a more serious question to be asked here:

Why would their pets choose to be gay?

:rofl:

[ThomasQED]

41. :rofl:

:rofl:

[Ramulux]

2. No

because there is no heaven.

[Prism]

4. Christwire's the Stephen Colbert of fundamentalist sites.

It's satire, but it's so almost believable that it occasionally gets linked by actual conservative Christians.

It's hilarious.

[kimi]

26. It IS satire, right?

Cause nothing and no one would believe or write some of that stuff. For goodness sake.

[Catshrink]

5. Do pets make a choice to be gay or are they born that way?

Or are the pets indoctrinated at the doggie park? Damn that gay agenda - it's not only ruining our children but affecting our pets!

Maybe Ricky Santorum was right.

[Liberal Veteran]

6. Only if they repent and accept Jesus Christ as their personal lord and saviour.

Or so I've been told.

[hlthe2b]

7. I thought these assholes didn't believe pets go to heaven at all...

Will Rogers said..."If dogs don't go to heaven, then I want to go where they go." ...

I could not agree more...;)

[MoonRiver]

8. Same here.

[seabeyond]

9. fundamentalists told my kids when they were little NO pets go to heaven... and

they were very serious. no animals allowed in heaven.

[Bluerthanblue]

28. yup, same here- I told them

that if they didn't believe god loved pets just as much as people, god wasn't much of a god.

We named our dog "God"- he's in his last few weeks with this world now. It's sad how people claim to speak for 'God'.

[Angry Dragon]

35. I am sorry to hear that you are close to losing a loved one

[Bluerthanblue]

42. thank you...

.... it's hard to face, but there just is no cure for old age. He's blind and lame- often can't get up without help lifting his hind end(he's a large dalmation) The good days are fewer and fewer. He came to us as an elderly rescue dog, not expected to live very long, and it's been almost five years now.

We've been hoping that he'd leave us on his own terms. He's been a beloved, loyal, funny, stubborn and loving member of our family. It's going to be a difficult good bye.

Thanks again for your kind words.

[Withywindle]

29. Here's a great joke/parable I heard once.

An elderly man and his elderly dog pass away at the same time, sleeping on their porch.

A little while later, the old man "wakes up" and finds himself and his dog walking along a country road. It's a pretty place, but it's a hot day and he's getting a little tired.

Eventually he comes to a beautiful gate of pearl and gold, and behind it are glimpses of a shining mansion and a dazzling garden. An angel is standing by the gate and says to him, "This is Heaven. Come in on - we have good food, cold lemonade, anything you want."

The old man says "Great, thank you!" and starts to walk in with the dog, and the angel says, "Oh, I'm sorry, the dog can't come in. No pets."

The old man thinks for a moment--but not for very long. He says, "Well then, thank you kindly, but I think Buddy and me will just keep going down this road then. I don't go anywhere without him."

So they walk on. A little while longer they come to an even more beautiful gate, with another angel, even more glorious, standing there. "Welcome to Heaven," the angel says. "Come on in, we have everything you want, and doggy treats too."

The old man is confused and said, "But there was that other gate..."

The angel laughs and says, "Oh no, that one is really Hell. It's a test--anyone who'd sell out their best friend doesn't belong here!"

[Bluerthanblue]

31. this is great!

:hi:

Looking forward to sharing it.

[Withywindle]

34. Thanks! I don't remember where I first heard it, or who from - wish I did.

:hi:

I'm not sure I believe in Heaven, but if I did, I would think it's a place for beings who put love first--doctrinal arguments, genders of lovers, species of creatures are not issues at The End of All Things. Loyalty and devotion and kindness and compassion should be what counts. On most of those counts, our pets have us beaten easily.

I also think sometimes that if there is a Heaven, we get in only by the grace of the animals we've lived with who are willing to vouch for us. I think there are many good reasons why God/dess(es) would take their word above ours.

[MattBaggins]

33. Isn't it amazing how little faith they actually have?

They supposedly believe in this all mighty god but believe him to be so mean spirited that he wouldn't let Spot in heaven?

[MrScorpio]

10. Well, I do know that ALL dogs go to heaven...

Now, cats on the other hand....

[Liberal Veteran]

11. If pets cross the Rainbow Bridge after death, they would go to Valhalla.

[MrScorpio]

13. Dude, I thought that the Rainbow Bridge takes you over to Asgard

[Liberal Veteran]

18. Valhalla is in Asgard.

[MrScorpio]

19. Oh yeah that's right, on the corner of Ragnarok and Vine

Yep, gotcha. Thanks!

[Davis_X_Machina]

12. Since Heaven contains all that one needs...

....for perfect happiness, if you had a gay pet, he or she is waiting for you.

To maintain otherwise is to maintain that God cannot foresee what you need for perfect happiness, or is too big a jerk to provide it -- which is presumptuous if not downright blasphemous.

(I didn't spend all those years with the Jesuits for nothing...)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

14. Does that include the person's atheist loved ones not going to Hell? -nt

[Davis_X_Machina]

27. Oh, no.... this is only for pooties and such.

Humans get what they got comin'. ;-)

[AngryOldDem]

15. Christ Almighty, I wish I had the time and the stamina to worry over such shit.

That's right up there with people making themselves sick wondering if they've committed a mortal sin because they got their pets spayed or neutered.

I daresay, if Heaven is all it's supposed to be, there will be more critters roaming the golden roads than humans.

[Ishoutandscream2]

16. Yep!

nt

[VioletLake]

17. Actually, gay pets do all the decorating in heaven. nt

[Maine-ah]

20. hehehe their google ads at the bottom of their page

"gay singles"
"gay film"
"gay t.v"

[valerief]

21. I've often wondered if gay dogs eat their poop like straight dogs.

Anyone know?

[Yeshuah Ben Joseph]

22. Let Me settle this question, as Someone with the Authority to do so

Yes, there are animals in Heaven. And yes, some of them are gay.

[MoonRiver]

30. OMG, finally the definitive answer!

:applause:

[socialist_n_TN]

43. I always THOUGHT you'd say something like that...............

Now, tell us about Glenn Beck! :)

[Old Troop]

23. I would hope gay pets go to cool bars

[guitar man]

25. They don't call it The Rainbow Bridge for nothing

:D

[MattBaggins]

32. Holy crap that did not have the intended affect

That shit he wrote was so damn erotic; I thought about becoming gay for a few seconds here and there.

Check the authors facebook page and you will see he lists himself as single. I think he has some inner turmoil going on my self.

[undeterred]

36. What about neutered pets?

I mean, would my dog still know if he's gay since I had him neutered at 6 months? :shrug:

[Iggo]

37. And what about dolphins?

They're just gay sharks, you know.

[Warren DeMontague]

39. I think that site is blowing its cover.

If you'll excuse the pun.

But very funny.