Texas Vows To Reclaim Title Of Most Regressive State From Arizona

[joeybee12]

AUSTIN, TX—Following a series of embarrassingly backward laws recently enacted in Arizona, Texas governor Rick Perry pledged Wednesday to do everything in his power to reestablish his state as the most regressive in the nation. "I commend Arizona for its commitment to exceedingly draconian social policies, but Jan Brewer should know that we still have some real doozies up our sleeve," said Perry, referring to Arizona's passage of the strictest immigration law in recent U.S. history, as well as its measures allowing concealed weapons to be carried without a permit and banning ethnic studies programs in public schools. "Don't forget, we just put an ultraconservative stamp on our educational curriculum that's going to affect the textbooks the whole country uses, and I'm still the only governor nutso enough to float secession. Mark my words, we'll be back and more fucked up than ever!" Sources close to Perry said that Texas may soon start storing undocumented migrant workers in dog cages while courts decide their immigration status, though Arizona plans to counter with a giant cannon that will be used to shoot anyone with a skin tone darker than ochre who crosses the border from Mexico.


http://www.theonion.com/articles/texas-vows-to-reclaim-title-of-most-regressive-sta,17980/

[TBF]

1. This came up on Facebook and I thought it was a news story

and completely bought it until I realized I was reading from the Onion.

[blogslut]

2. Perry is dumb but he's not that dumb

He may be all hot and bothered trying to get Obama to pay attention to his suddenly, conveniently urgent worries about the drug stuff along the border but he knows better than to alienate the Hispanic/Latino population in his state. Texas is a minority/majority state and even Goodhair knows not to piss of so huge a constituency.

[AlinPA]

3. Talk of Texas secession has quieted down, maybe someone did a calculation of the number of jobs

related to the military bases there. I looked at a Texas Nationalist Movement website that looked like there is some effort being made to secede. It sounds like something Perry would be involved with.