Tea Party Candidate: Masturbation is Adultery

[RainDog]

(I'm so glad I finally learned how to spell masturbation, btw... thank you, DUers!!)

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/09/tea-party-masturbation-adultry/

Christine O'Donnell is one of those who, as MSNBC's Rachel Maddow put it on Tuesday, "simply freak out other Republicans."

In 1998, she told an MTV interviewer that masturbation is the same as adultery because "the Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery. So you can't masturbate without lust."

In an article written about the same time, the fiercely Catholic O'Donnell declared, "When a married person uses pornography, or is unfaithful, it compromises not just his (or her) purity, but also compromises the spouse's purity. As a church, we need to teach a higher standard than abstinence."

Chastity belts, gloves, blinders...

I wonder what her stance is on the church's refusal to treat pedophiles within their ranks as citizens who are subject to the laws of the land in which they live?

But more importantly, do we really need people who are this freaking obsessed with others' sexual lives in public office? I think not.

[mmonk]

1. Then I suggest they cut off their hands.

[RainDog]

3. if someone is a 13 year old boy

I guess that makes him an adulterer before the fact?

Luckily she didn't warn people about growing hair on the palms of their hands - cause that would be freaking idiotic...

[catbyte]

24. ...or go blind, lol

[cognoscere]

41. Well, can I just do it until I need glasses? NT

[Freetradesucks]

62. Don't forget, they might go blind as well...

nt

[roguevalley]

20. I can imagine she commits adultry then every time she wipes her

butt. Given that any even accidental pleasure is 'wrong' she must be swimming in guilt.

[pipi_k]

27. Years ago my high school psychology teacher said that...

defecation was a pleasurable experience...

So apparently even taking a dump is "cheating"...


:7

[jberryhill]

44. Have you ever defecated?

I mean, is it a proposition which would need to be taught either way?

[pipi_k]

64. Answers....

1. No

2. Sorry, not sure I fully understand what this comment means.


:shrug:

[jberryhill]

71. I would explain the second question

But I am simply awestruck at your answer to the first one.

[pipi_k]

74. I know...quite a trick, huh? n/t

[jberryhill]

75. But aren't you full of s---?

[TalkingDog]

76. Ha! Probably....

I had a college room mate who swore that she never passed gas....

Toward the end of the year we were sitting around and I heard a cheek sneak from her side of the room. I started jumping up and down on the bed, announcing it to the hall, threatening to note it on the calendar.


Next fall I ran into her on campus. She had dropped about 15 lbs. I mentioned her weight loss and told her that it was probably due to all that gas finally being allowed to escape.


I'm not full of shit, however, I am full of Eeeeevil......

[blondeatlast]

2. Well, damn, I swore up and down to my cheating ex that I never cheated on him.

My bad.

[RainDog]

4. LOL

...and did you marry your shower massage after this?

[zazen]

5. furtively using online porn 3 hours a day is ruining marriages

Hell. I think her comments are more honest than their bullshit about gays ruining heterosexual marriages. Porn ruins a good deal of them. Ask any divorce attorney.

All of those Republican colleagues of hers are secretly beating off to porn. I'm glad she's calling them on it. Make them squirm.

But the thing about masturbation in general is silly. It's just when it happens for hours EVERY DAY, esp. when the person's partner is already in bed, and people's primary sexual relationships are with images of other human beings, half of whom had no functional choice as to whether to be in that photograph, that it takes on serious ethical and psychological dimensions.

[RainDog]

and this is the business of politicians?

I don't think this teabagger put a timer on the issue, btw.

If someone has a problem with addictive behavior, however it is expressed, it's a mental health issue, not a religious one.

[Sparkly]

67. YES -- the very ones who claim to HATE "big government interfering in their lives...."

The irony is thicker than whatever's clogged in Michelle Bachmann's brain cells.

[Warren DeMontague]

8. How nice, that you have found something you agree with the whackjob religious right on.

What about the gay people -and there are a lot of them- who also look at porn?

I would dare to say that it's not "porn" that is ruining those marriages, so much as it is a crappy lack of communication. People need to understand where their boundaries are before getting in to something like marriage. Any woman aghast that her husband has looked at porn -and masturbated to it- probably hasn't been paying much attention. 95% of men do such a thing at least occasionally, the other 5% lie about it.

As for "half of whom had no functional choice as to whether to be in that photograph"- where are you getting that statistic? Are you honestly suggesting that the 'consent' in 'consenting adults' only applies if you agree with the choice the adult is making? :shrug:

[Ignis]

35. You can look at porn, as long as you do it without "lust in your heart."

This is a difficult job, however, and it's likely to involve a lot of practice.

[Warren DeMontague]

53. I think I can safely attest that said lust is not in my ...heart.

Does that count?

[RainDog]

57. yeah, I think that's a religious "out" they give

if it's lust in your heart then it's emotional.

if it's lust in your loins it's Wednesday.

[Warren DeMontague]

77. I was going to say, if it's lust in your heart

I think you may be doing it wrong? :shrug:

[RaleighNCDUer]

9. Sorry, porn is a symptom, not the disease. It is the result of marital

unhappiness, not the cause. The only marriages ruined by porn are marriages of people in the industry.

[roguevalley]

21. optomitrists have seen a corresponding drop in business since her utterance.

[Vickers]

29. Har!

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

[krabigirl]

32. Lol

[slampoet]

37. If someone can't compete against Two Dimensional People their marriage was never in good shape.

[jberryhill]

45. Horse/Cart of Front/In /nt

[Warren DeMontague]

80. And who has 3 free hours a day to masturbate, anyway?

Hell, I'm lucky if I can find 45 minutes a week just to mow the lawn.

[woodsprite]

6. The more freakier my fellow Delawareans see her, the better.

But she's even freakier than I suspected. We don't need a Delaware version of Palin.

I've chatted with people who are for both Palin and O'Donnell because they're female. Heck, I'm female and I wouldn't even THINK of voting for either one of those no talent, no sense, windbags. One thing I did notice about O'Donnell's campaign signs this year is she left her picture off of them. Either it cost too much money or like many people thought, she did it because she thought that being of the fairer sex and pretty would garner some additional votes.

[jberryhill]

61. We want her to beat Castle - Coons outpolls her by far /nt

[Bozita]

7. The perfect reason to require burkas on all females in Amerika.

And, ... Gawd tells me he loves the idea.

[John Q. Citizen]

10. Masturbation in males is equal to petty murder. Think of the millions of unborn

spermatozoa... the horror!!!!!


They are just trying to protect the unborn sperm! At last, someone willing to speak up!

[RainDog]

16. Dorothy Parker had a bird named Onan - because he spilled his seed. n/t

[RaleighNCDUer]

78. Every sperm is sa-cred....

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

[pintobean]

11. No wonder establishment

repugs don't like her.
What a bunch of jack-offs. :rofl:

[blondeatlast]

12. That was punny,

:thumbsup:

[pintobean]

58. I misread that as puny

Which, also, could have been punny.

[Stevenmarc]

13. It should be fun reading the "Masturbation" signage at the next rally, that's a big word for them

[Dr.Phool]

14. Mr. Bashun for Senute!

[RainDog]

15. I think we've finally found out what the "invisisble hand of the market" is, btw

but, to get all philosophical and all, what I want to know is.. what is the sound of one hand fwapping.

[Dr.Phool]

18. What was it Charlton Heston said?

"From my cold, dead hands".

[sinkingfeeling]

17. Maybe she should be running for Pope instead. "As a church..."

[trumad]

19. My Mom told me when I was a kid

that masturbation would make me go blind.

One day she started banging on my bathroom door screaming---BOBBY---WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!!!!

I replied---I'M GOING BLIND!!!!





Got that one from Robin Williams.

[RainDog]

22. Gynecologists observed a female fetus masturbate to orgasm in the womb

Italian gynecologists Giorgio Giorgi and Marco Siccardi observed via ultrasound a female fetus masturbate to orgasm.

http://www.mdconsult.com/das/article/body/217889915-2/jorg=journal&source=&sp=966983&sid=0/N/78991/1.html?issn=0002-9378

Must have been a liberal fetus...

[jberryhill]

43. Giorgi and Siccardi should mind their own business

Can a gal get some privacy? Sheesh.

[RainDog]

49. lol

at least she was too young to be scarred by the experience.

[jberryhill]

70. I'm scarred by the thought of it

I mean, are these guys with the Institute For Advanced Porn Research or what?

[spanone]

23. sounds like the catholic church when i was a kid in the fifties

fuck them then and fuck her now

[woodsprite]

48. Well, I understand she has her staff check her bushes for her opponents! n/t

[RainDog]

51. ROTFLMAO

I read about this - after I saw the article, I felt like saying...

eh whebebe whebebe whebebe, that's all folks!

she's LOONEY TUNES.

[pintobean]

25. If she makes it to the senate

she could wind up on the Select Committee on Ethics. Congressional short arms inspections may follow. Warts would be evidence of unethical behavior.

On the bright side, Boner might turn white from fear.

[RainDog]

33. I find it disturbing that there are people in this nation who are this stupid

who run for public office.

honestly.

What's equally disturbing is that there are still people in this nation who don't know she's full of shit for quoting the bible as tho it has anything worthwhile to say about human sexual behavior.

The story of Onan, btw, which became the basis for much theological bullshit about masturbation, is not about masturbation at all. The story is about carrying on the family name by marrying and giving birth to children with the wife of your brother - and, by doing so, allowing these children to be legally considered the children of the dead brother.

That was Onan's sin - that he refused to impregnate his brother's widow - not because of masturbation, again, but by coitus interruptus (which means he was also lucky because that's a horribly ineffective form of birth control.) Well, not so lucky - in the bible story, god offs him for refusing to do as he's told.

However, the point of this is to note that there is NOTHING in the bible to state that masturbation is somehow offensive to god. This story is also where Catholicism gets its "no birth control" bullshit belief.

Even tho, in this nation, we do not practice jewish law regarding marrying the widow of your brother or follow the patriarchal law that allows your offspring to be assigned as the legal offspring of an older brother.

In other words, the idea that people should not use contraception is based upon an extrapolation of jewish law with a big fat slathering of sexism on top - that women should not be allowed to make choices about their own reproductive lives.

When you realize that the basis for these beliefs is pure stupidity - you have to wonder how anyone in the U.S. with a lick of sense can support such ideas.

Or maybe support for such ideas indicates those people are simply willfully stupid.

[Twinguard]

26. There's two kinds of people.

Those who masturbate and those who lie about it.

[JNelson6563]

28. Well look at what happened to poor Onan in the bible.

If that's not proof I don't know what is!

Oy.

Julie

[provis99]

30. oh, she's cute! but a question for her...

If I touch my naughty parts while looking at your picture, Ms. O'Donnell, am I committing adultery, given that I am single? Or is masturbation ok in that instance?

[Dappleganger]

31. Well, there goes the Paultards!

Sorry, I used that word only because it's a commonly used term by reddit for blindly-stupid followers of Ron Paul.

[cbdo2007]

34. Who cares?? They vote for a bunch of adulterers.

[Booster]

36. hmmm. Wonder how she knows you can't masturbate without

lust. Why do I get the feeling that 50% of us are totally insane?

[devilgrrl]

38. Does anyone remember when she was a frequent guest on 'Politically Incorrect'?

A total loon. And she knows it too.

[krabigirl]

39. What is the deal with all of these fascist female tea partiers?

[mcollins]

40. In the old testement, the torah, and the qu'ran

even thought about sin is commiting that sin.

It's not just the x-ians who think such things.

[RainDog]

55. iow - religion as oppression, or "thought police"

control of others is really the point of religion anyway, so... that's just the end point.

[mcollins]

85. Isn't religion's purpose Control of Thought?

You should think this way in order to be saved.

[Initech]

42. The masturbation network: Keepin' America 'baitin for over 300 years.

Go away! 'Baitin!!!!!!

[Forkboy]

46. What if you're doing it for your wife's entertainment?

:)

[dawgman]

47. Please don't tell my wife....

[KamaAina]

50. So I guess that means "She Bop" is out of the running for her campaign song?

or "Turning Japanese", for that matter. :eyes:

[RainDog]

56. or the Divinyls... n/t

[Lucian]

52. If that's the case, then every fucking human being is an adulterer.

:wtf:

[asdjrocky]

54. There goes any chance I have of ever being faithful. nt

[Winston Wolf]

59. Leave It To A Republican...

...to demonize a basic, human function, as basic and essential as breathing, eating, shitting, and sleeping, and in turn, give a pass to those who sexually assault Americans because they happen to be on "Their God's Team".

What's truly frightening is that critical thinking skills have been essentially bred out of the American electorate, and people don't even take time to see the hypocrisy that lies so blatantly before them.

[fascisthunter]

60. if he is serious, he has huge problems

could you imagine the "blueball" this guy suffers. I swear people like this create their own hells and then try push that hell onto others.

[mike r]

63. Maybe they misspelled adulatory

??

[Starbucks Anarchist]

65. Will someone fuck these people out of their misery?

[Forkboy]

66. ....

:rofl:

[RainDog]

68. ...

:rofl: :rofl:

[uponit7771]

81. ....

[rucky]

69. And adultery is legal, too.

So WTF is her suggestion?

[superconnected]

72. When I was a kid in the -70's there actually were fathers who killed their sons for masterbating.

I remember a couple of 3 year-olds beaten to death.

That mentality is scary.

[RainDog]

73. omg. how horrid.

3 year olds?

That mentality is sick.

[LeftishBrit]

79. So will she lose the vote of everyone who has ever masturbated?

If so, then, ahem, the Dems won't have a lot to worry about!

Specially as it's well-known that Republicans are a load of wankers!

[lutefisk]

83. No, because Republican voters regularly vote against their own best interests

And of course being a hypocrite is part of being a Republican.


:hi:

[CrownPrinceBandar]

82. Delete

[Evasporque]

84. Well crap I guess I gotta stop now....

Damn and I enjoyed it too...

lol

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

86. Yeah I've cheated on my right hand with my left...... a lot! nt