9/11 widow: The media duped us

[kpete]

Tuesday, Sep 7, 2010 20:20 ET
9/11 widow: The media duped us
As I watch other victims argue over Park51, I feel like reporters turned us into the experts we never were
By Alissa Torres

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But here is what's been lost in this Park51 controversy: We are not experts, we are victims. We deserve to speak up, we need to speak up to acknowledge the pain and suffering, but we were never meant to be leaders in a national debate. Because the only thing we really know intimately is grief. The only thing we really know is what it feels like to lose a loved one in 9/11.

As we approach the ninth anniversary of the event that ripped open our lives, those 5,000+ people on Arnie Korotkin's listserv are more divided than ever. And I can't shake the feeling that the media has duped us. In trying to create a controversy where there is none, in raking over wounds that -- nine years later -- still hurt. As we continue to grieve on Sept. 11, many 9/11 organizers have called for a "cease-fire" in the controversy to respect all our dead. But even that isn't something we can agree on; some families will use the day to continue to protest.

But for or against Park51, who among us wants to see images of the towers about to be hit by a plane splayed on New York City buses, as right-wing blogger Pamela Geller's anti-"ground zero mosque" ad features? None of us needs craven gubernatorial candidate Rick Lazio, standing in front of a picture of the smoldering towers, saying that he speaks on behalf of the victims of 9/11.

At the end of the day, I am a mother trying to take care of my kid. I'm proud of how I've handled this topic, but the notion of a bus with the towers on it zipping around the city, randomly sideswiping my son and me, stirs up my PTSD.

more:
http://www.salon.com/life/life_stories/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2010/09/07/we_are_not_experts_on_park_51