Woman drags naked intruder by his beard, then whacks him with a tape measure

[marmar]

A 64-year-old woman fought off a neighbor and dragged him out of her house by his beard after he let himself into her Kansas City home and took his clothes off.

The woman said she awoke about 12:50 a.m. Tuesday and found her 62-year-old neighbor standing over her naked, according to court records. He allegedly grabbed her arm and said he was “just being friendly.”

She grabbed his beard and dragged him to her door in the 3200 block of Oakland Avenue. As she tried to throw him out, he allegedly grabbed her throat.

She picked up a tape measure and bonked it against his head three times. He left. .......(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.kansascity.com/2010/09/08/2209191/attack-thwarted-by-more-than-a.html#ixzz0z3iSyfYm

[One_Life_To_Give]

1. Guess he didn't measure up

:7

[marmar]

3. ......

:spank:

[KittyWampus]

7. OW! Stop that...

:silly:

[liberal N proud]

8. My thoughts too

:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:
:rofl:

[Kookaburra]

2. That's hysterical

Not to minimize her fear, but damn! As I recall most naked men aren't particularly fond of tape measures anyway, and to be smacked on the head with one must be doubly humiliating.

[SidDithers]

4. What's the matter with Kansas?...

:)

Sid

[liberal N proud]

12. Kansas City Missouri

[Warpy]

5. Whaddya want to bet she's a retired nurse?

It seems every time you read a report of an old lady beating the crap out of an attacker, she's been a nurse somewhere during her working life.

[seabeyond]

15. interesting. i will have to take note.

they do have to deal with all kinds, in all kinds of situations.

[Loki]

26. Love that

I'm a nurse who worked all her nursing career at TMC in Kansas City, MO. I could do that!

[uncommon]

6. Good for her.

:)

[Dappleganger]

9. Well unless Santa lost his clothes in the chimney while bringing us presents...

he certainly deserved getting the shit beat outta him.

BTW, granny needs some better weapons.

[louis-t]

17. So far, she's batting 1,000 with the tape measure.

[foxfeet]

10. Brava!

Too bad she couldn't get hold of a brick.

[seabeyond]

11. i wanna know if they found his perscription of viagra.... nt

[flakey_foont]

14. well, if the beard was the best thing she could grab on to

....not likely he was using

[seabeyond]

16. ba hahah

that was funny

[kestrel91316]

13. 64-yr-old women are far from frail and elderly. He misjudged her.

[SoxFan]

18. Which one of you guys is this?

[edbermac]

19. "Police reports noted he had been drinking before the incident."

No shit! :beer:

[seabeyond]

22. per the picture, i can see how she got such a good hold on that beard. hm. nt

[NoGOPZone]

20. When I read 'drags naked intruder', I was hoping it was by something other than the beard nt

[whathehell]

21. Ummm...I guess he won't be trying that again......Good on her!!

[Mr_Jefferson_24]

23. "just being friendly?"

Did he think that might do it? Was that supposed to win her over?

I think NANI (National Association of Naked Intruders) needs some better ice breaker lines.

How 'bout:

"Will there be anything else, Mum?"

"Hey, what have you done with my wife?"

"Room service."

"Sorry, but you were snoring again."

"Will you please help me find my kitty?"

"Ok, I'm here, now whaddaya want?"

"I don't normally make house calls, but..."

"No need for a tape measure, ma'am, it's 6-1/4", certified."

"Do you think this hat makes me look fat?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

[Common Sense Party]

24. Obviously, he didn't read this thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x9073202

[Radical Activist]

25. Huh. I usually have to pay good money for that kind of treatment.

[Uncle Joe]

27. That's nothing compared to that woman trying out for the CIA.

Thanks for the thread, marmar.