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Talked to my son tonight, he is leaving in about a week for Iraq. His son, Josh Jr, was born on August 31st.
I spent over 8 years wondering where my boys were, checking the papers weekly to see if I saw their names in either the obits or the sports section. After my X died I finally got in touch with my boys. 8 Years of worry, being scared, worried all the time. A stream that ran through my life that I can barely explain.
Years of worry, then relief at finding them and making up for time lost.
Now each day I will worry yet again about my son. The combat missions have ended, but that does not mean much to me or him.
A war started on lies. A life, in some ways, with my X, filled with lies about me. My son has been a victim time and again of the lies of others. And all he wanted to do was to live his life. He never had a chance to just be him.
In one week he will be on a plane to fight in a war that should never have been. A war based on lies. And I will sit here, once again, worried about him day in and out. I will read the news, hoping I don't see something about troops getting killed or captured.
When he was just a little boy I never imagined this. He used to hug his little stuffed animal (A gremlin named Gizmo) and we would laugh and play each day.
In one week my little boy will be at war, though they do not call it such now. We tell ourselves that the wars are over and that our kids are just there to keep the peace and such.
But I know better. He knows better. He knows that he is a target in a war that should not have been.
And for those who are all gung ho for us to be there and to stay there I say - put your money where your mouth is. Enlist and go overseas.
We told the right wingers that at one time. If you think the wars we are in are justified, feel free to enlist and go over there and fight.
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