If the Republicans in Congress had jobs outside of Congress...

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In the hospital!
Paramedic: This man has been wounded!
Surgeon: We need to operate now!
Republican: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Punches out surgeon) He needs a TAX CUT, STAT!

As a hostage negotiator!
Negotiator: We just want to talk to you, just...
Republican: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Punches out negotiator) Don't worry, son. It's going to be OK, you are going to get a tax cut.
Hostage taker: What?

In FEMA!
Relief official: We've got thousands homeless and even more with no access to food or clean water.
Republican: Don't worry, the tax cuts will be here shortly.
Relief official: ...

As a chemist!
Republican: What happens if I add a tax cut to the dihydrogen monoxide solution? Would that change it's reactivity?
Assistant: So far, adding tax cuts haven't done anything to any of the solutions.
Republican: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Punches out assistant)

As a talk show host!
Republican: Look under your chairs.
(Everyone does so)
Republican: That's right! You're getting a tax cut, and you're getting a tax cut, and you're getting a tax cut! YOU'RE ALL GETTING TAX CUTS!!!

On Fox News!
Fox News Host: Tax cuts are good.
Republican: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! (Somehow cuts off the host's mic) Tax cuts are GREAT!

As a fisherman!
Fisherman: Who replaced all of our bait with... tax cuts?
Other fisherman: And who's that guy dumping all those tax cuts in the water?
Republican: Heh heh, I'm chumming with tax cuts!

On the bomb squad!
Republican: Can I give the bomb a tax cut?