Guy starts selling "Christian salt"

[Maraya1969]

"There's a sucker born every minute"

http://christiansalt.com/

You’ve heard of kosher salt? Now there’s a Christian variety.

Retired barber Joe Godlewski says he was inspired by television chefs who repeatedly recommended kosher salt in recipes.

“I said, ‘What the heck’s the matter with Christian salt?’” Godlewski said, sipping a beer in the living room of his home in unincorporated Cresaptown, a western Maryland mountain community.

By next week, his trademarked Blessed Christians Salt will be available at http://www.memphi.net

Not sure what I am going to do with this site yet. Apparently Godlewski shoulda registered his products domain name.

I absolutely love that people will buy anything with Jesus slapped on it. Christians are such consumer whores for Jesus crap it is astounding.

Kosher salt gets its name not because it follows the guidelines for kosher foods as written in the Torah (nearly all salt is kosher, including ordinary table salt), but rather because of its use in making meats kosher, by helping to extract the blood from the meat. Because kosher salt grains are larger than regular table salt grains, when meats are coated in kosher salt the salt does not dissolve readily; the salt remains on the surface of the meat longer to draw fluids out of the meat.

UPDATE: I think I got it. A vid should come soon. Most will be pleased cept a few extreme wingnuts.


http://christiansalt.com/

[DJ13]

1. Do you have to buy it in a Lot?

[KamaAina]

11. It's also sold by the pillar

:evilgrin:

[AnArmyVeteran]

38. LOL, I wouldn't want to sprinkle Lot's wife's remains all over my food! LOL

[Kalyke]

50. Especially after she's been sitting atop a mount for thousands

of years:

[AnArmyVeteran]

65. Lot's wife has really let herself go.

[Touchdown]

2. Ifnits not made out of Lot's Wife, then it's a fraud!

It's true!

[hatrack]

3. I'm assuming it comes without iodide?

In keeping with the likely clientele and all that . . .

[saltpoint]

4. I'm going to check their on-line store for some

Christian salsa and some Christian marmalade.

[dkf]

5. Interesting info on kosher salt.

I hear the term all the time but I must admit I don't know what kosher food is all about.

[xultar]

6. We need to come up with some bullshit designed to take the

fundies money!!

Then donate that money to progressive causes.

[tularetom]

8. Fundamentalist toilet paper

With a picture of a well known televangelist on every sheet.

[rasputin1952]

10. "NOW! Splinter Free!!!

:D

[Sparkly]

35. I got it: Abstinence Condoms

The little packets in the pic look like condoms, so it made me think of this. Instead of condoms inside, there's a sheet of paper explaining how and why God will smite you for what you're thinking of doing.

[rasputin1952]

7. I'll wait for the Christian Cummin, Cinnamon and boullion cubes...

:hi:

[Cassandra]

9. Is it for rubbing into wounds?

Preferably stigmata.

[DBoon]

12. No that's Catholic salt

not *really* Christians

[Monk06]

13. Looks like Klan salt to me. Bet they aren't sellin pepper. nt

[BillStein]

42. they sell pepper

but it's only available in seperate but equal containers, as God intended

[4_TN_TITANS]

61. LOL.... nice one!

[Initech]

14. If you spill it, do you repent or throw it over your shoulder?

[Chulanowa]

15. At work we use Sysco's kosher salt

On the box, it says "kosher for passover!"

I feel a little dumber every time I see that box, and this dumbass just racheted it up several notches.

Kosher salt is not called that because it is kosher. There's nothing Jewish or religious about kosher salt; it's just flat salt. The reason for the name is that flaky salt was used to draw the blood from meats; it had a greater surface area than rock or coarse salt, so did the job more effectively. This, the salt could make meat kosher by ensuring that all the blood was out of the meat.

Now, if I understand the theology correctly... shouldn't Christian salt then put blood back into the meat?

[Kalyke]

53. Darn it! And all this time I've used it to take baths in to be pure!

:crazy:


Seriously, pouring a little kosher salt in warm water is very good for your skin if done sparingly.

[Maraya1969]

16. DU people are the funniest! eom

[Jamastiene]

17. Oh, dear God.

What'll they think of next?

:rofl:

[Yeshuah Ben Joseph]

18. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered with that whole Crucifixion thing.

this would be one of those times. :(

[a la izquierda]

34. On behalf of the smart folks of humanity...

I apologize for the morons. But really, didn't your Dad make us in His Image? If so, why are so many people so f'in stupid?

[pinboy3niner]

45. Uh-oh.

Equating His Image and "f'n stupid" is a big no-no. Are you TRYING to get individually raptured--and probed? (Where do you think all those alien abduction stories came from?)

If I were you, I'd be lookin' out for lightning bolts--a la izquierda could soon be adios.

Vaya con Dios, amigo--though that may not be in your future... :)

[a la izquierda]

57. Ooooh, raptured AND probed...

Well you know, I was once walking down the street in Guadalajara, and these two elderly women stopped talking, mid-conversation. They looked freaked out. One pointed at me, and said "¡DIABLA!" I looked at my best friend, who was visiting me from L.A., and said to her, "Did that lady just call me the Devil?"
See, it's a big problem to be a tattooed lady in Mexico, especially super conservative (though very gay friendly) Guadalajara. Tickled me pink, I'll tell you that.

Christine O'Donnell would get a kick out of my post.

Oh, and right about now, I'd take the lightning. I'm finishing footnotes for my dissertation. I kind of want to start drinking at 1130 in the morning (actually, I wanted to start drinking about 2 hours ago).

[pinboy3niner]

59. Best of luck on your dissertation!

I suspect the tequila won't go bad in the meantime :) , so crunch on those footnotes--you'll have time to celebrate later.

You may not be the devil, but you can party like hell when you dissertation's done! :)

Best wishes...

Love & Peace,
pinboy3niner

[a la izquierda]

60. Thanks...

almost there! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it's not a train.
:)

[pinboy3niner]

63. LOL!

As long as you've got your sense of humor, I have no worries about how you'll do.

[McCamy Taylor]

19. Made from the real tears of Jesus and the martyrs, I hope.

[iamjoy]

20. Oy Vey!

Such meshugass. What will these goyim think of next?

[kestrel91316]

21. I can't believe I am the first person to REC this thread. Sheesh. Slackers.

[pinboy3niner]

22. It goes on the shelf next to the Holy Jolokia Hot Sauce...

Holy Jolokia Hot Sauce

Holy Jolokia Hot Sauce - A portion of bottle sales helps to fund research and education at the Chile Pepper Institute - where spiciness is a religion. The chile heat in this sauce comes from Bhut Jolokia, a chile pepper from India tested by Dr. Paul W. Bosland (New Mexico State University, Las Cruces, NM) and measured at 1 million Scoville Heat Units. Caution: your taste buds may cry out, "Holy Jolokia"! Ingredients: Vinegar, Bhut Jolokia Chiles, Sugar, Salt, Granulated Garlic, Lemon Extract, Xanthan Gum. 5oz.

[Lucian]

23. I wonder if that guy has two thumbs on each hand.

Wouldn't surprise me.

[RagAss]

24. I hope they mixed in the Thorazine !....Crazy Bastards.

[Stevenmarc]

25. The perfect condiment for the never ending Loaves and Fishes Buffet

[pepperbear]

26. Everyone seems to be honing in on the Commercial Jesus angle, but let's not forget

how ridiculous and offensive this is. When he asks "What's the matter with Christian salt?", he's playing the "Christians as victims" card, and he's implying that the salt industry is somehow run by Jews hell bent on taking over the world's salt supply.

[pinboy3niner]

28. +1

His reaction is remarkable. You have to wonder why he finds it so threatening that some salt is labeled "kosher."

What's next? An outraged Bill O'Reilly decrying "The War on Christian Salt"? :eyes:

[BillStein]

43. shhhh.... that's a secret

[proteus_lives]

27. I'm going to start selling Deist pizza.

See if that catchs on.

[pinboy3niner]

29. Good luck!

That dietist stuff never captures the full flavor of the real thing. :evilgrin:

[DailyGrind51]

30. If you watch "Supernatural", you know that you can keep demons away by pouring salt in your doorway.

[Maraya1969]

49. You can also keep little lizards from coming in your dog door by

smearing all four sides of the outside wall surrounding it with about an inch of Vaseline.

[DailyGrind51]

68. But that's just plain mean!

[Maraya1969]

69. They don't die! They just won't cross the petroleum. In my house

they would die because the cat would get to them. I have taken plenty of lizards out of the house, when I could catch the little suckers.

I don't like to kill anything and I hardly eat meat.

[JHB]

31. Is it wrong for me (as an atheist) to find this highly offensive to Christians?

At least the ones in my family.

Does "money-changers in the temple" ring any bells? I don't recall Mr. J. O'Nazareth being particularly sympathetic with those who profiteer off the faithful.

These people claim to worship Jesus as a deity, yet they don't blink at rewriting his holy book?
And these are the sort of people who call me "arrogant" for being an unbeliever?

[Maraya1969]

51. Those Christian book stores are BIG. I think I'll check out

the new one close by and see what it is they are actually selling besides Bibles.

You have a good point.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

32. No salt salts like Jeebus salt salts. nt

[Solly Mack]

33. Once salted, always salted.

LMAO

[LibertyLover]

36. I honestly thought this was going to be a story from The Onion

when I clicked on it. Boy was I wrong. Good grief.

[NobleCynic]

40. My first thought as well

But satire really can't compete with reality when comes to absurdity.

[piratefish08]

37. what a con artist.

I, on the other hand, make MY salt from the actual tears of the Baby Jesus.

I accept paypal.

[chemenger]

70. No shortage of salt there considering how many things make Baby Jesus cry!

n/t

[Ganja Ninja]

39. Welcome to the new American economy.

Just slap a cross on something and charge 10 times the price for it. It's the new secret of success.

[LeftinOH]

41. I have an idea for Christian breakfast cereal: Jesus Christies- with little sugar-frosted crosses.

[JHB]

58. Made from oats grown in the American Heartland!

With marshmallow American flags!
(processed and packaged in China)


By Jove, I think we have a Real True Christian product!
:evilgrin:

[Evasporque]

44. Pefect for seasoning shellfish and curing homosexuals....

Made from the residents of Sodom. 100% Pure Sodom.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

46. A product borne out of anti-semitism. How cute. -nt

[Arkansas Granny]

47. OK. someone help me figure a way to tie this in with the Jesus toaster

thread from yesterday.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=9140593

[Island Blue]

48. The dude's name is GODlewski afterall.

Who better to know about holy seasonings. And how to make money off of people who will buy ANY product with the torture device / cross logo on it.

[JerseygirlCT]

52. Oh. Brother. nt

[TommyO]

54. According to their website, all of their ingredients are Kosher Certified!

Even the Christian salt?

[felix_numinous]

55. Great -now a religious food fight

I'm telling you, Jesusland is going to be a real place someday, a golden pearly gated community.

[Stevenmarc]

56. No thanks just went to Costco and bought salt in the Lot's Wife Economy Pillar Size

[formercia]

67. That's a lot of Salt. n/t

[frogmarch]

62. haha! How funny! Now,

get a whiff of Jesus!



His Essence

Sense Him in a New Way

His EssenceTM is inspired by Psalm 45:8 - "All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia..." The Bible verse refers to the garments of the Messiah when He returns. We carefully combine these fragrances and the result is a scent, which serves as a reminder of His Presence.

http://www.hisessence.com/

:silly:

[Maraya1969]

66. Actually Frankincense is very good for anxiety. I have looked

all over for it at times. It is hard to find but worth it.

[Javaman]

64. What I want to know is...

will it still burn vampires?