Offense Taken

[bobbolink]

The “r” Word

Some people have mental retardation (intellectual disabilities). While mental retardation is not a bad word, when used to describe someone or something you think is bad or stupid it becomes another thoughtless hurtful word. People with intellectual disabilities are not bad. Their condition is not bad. The prejudice and discrimination to people with intellectual disabilities is BAD…and WRONG! Please stop using the word ‘retard’. It hurts individuals and families of those with disabilities.
http://therword.org/

Action Pledge
Take the original R-Word “My Words Matter” Pledge by Jenna Glatzer: “I pledge that I will not use the words “retard” or “retarded” to mean “stupid.” I understand that this is hurtful to people who have disabilities and people who love them, so I will be careful with my words. I will also try to remember to pay attention when other people use these words, and I’ll ask them to stop. “

Read Jenna’s story on how she created her R-Word pledge in 2004: http://www.jennaglatzer.com/pledge_to_stop_the_word_retard.htm

Download FREE PDF’s To Make Your Voices Heard!

The “r” Word Campaign © 2010, Rick & Wanda Felty – online since April 2007
http://therword.org/action-pledge/

[uppityperson]

1. k&r

[blondeatlast]

2. Wonderful! Thank you for sharing this! k/r/nt

[HereSince1628]

3. There is a similar if not greater overuse of "crazy" and "mentally ill"

We need VOCABULARY!!!!!!!!!!!

[bobbolink]

5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Progressives shouldn't leave home without it.

[Posteritatis]

77. Those ones drive me up the wall

It's not as bad as it was about a year ago, but there's far too many people here who see "mentally ill" and "Republican" as perfectly synonymous.

[nyc 4 Biden]

4. k&r

:fistbump:

[Brickbat]

6. Be sure to alert on it...the mods have accepted that "retarded" is an offensive word and will delete

posts that use it...as long as you alert on it.

[Name removed]

10. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Brickbat]

11. Grrr!

[zipplewrath]

13. Unless you quote Rahm directly

Or at least that was the way it was explained to me.

[Obamanaut]

24. They will also delete posts that use various 'derivatives'. nt

[bobbolink]

39. REally?

[Obamanaut]

45. Really. About four years ago, Miz O had a motor scooter accident, flying

over the handlebars onto her helmeted head. Head trauma, many broken bones, much road rash. ICU for three days, neurological wing of hospital for several more, then rehab hospital.

During the many weeks following hospital when she was relearning to walk and other activities, someone I was introduced to asked me (she didn't form sentences too well, and some words would not come at all) if she was retarded. I found that to be hurtful, and have not used it toward or about anyone since.

Back to the 'really.' I've alerted many times on 'freeptard', 'repuketard', 'retard', 'fucktard', and so one. The post alerted on was removed within minutes. In the remarks section of the alert screen I type in "contains derivative that may be hurtful to readers who have family members with developmental disabilities."

The mods have always been quick to act on these alerts. At least, in my experience.

[Name removed]

47. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Obamanaut]

48. I can only relate to you my experience here. My experience is that

the 'alert' and the explanation have resulted in nearly immediate action.

[bobbolink]

49. "Mom always liked you better." Tom Smothers

[Obamanaut]

50. In the realm of 'glass half full vs half empty' people, yours must be nearly dry. nt

[bobbolink]

52. As a matter of fact, it is. Sadly, I doubt your words were meant in a caring way.

[Obamanaut]

69. Neither caring, nor non-caring. Merely expressing an opinion based

on many of the responses I've read directed toward others when they don't immediately embrace your position as the only position, or when an opinion even slightly different is expressed. Some of those responses are demeaning, others spiteful. Even in this thread there was one that suggested a poster had deficient reading skills, and was told that the post would be repeated. The repeat was in the message block in very large font. Oh wait, that one is gone now also.

[bobbolink]

75. self-delete.

No use wasting effort.

Welcome to my ignore list. I suggest you do likewise.

[Obamanaut]

76. Darn. nt

[Kerrytravelers]

7. Pledge taken.

:thumbsup:

[bobbolink]

12. Thank you so much... please pass this on, OK?

:yourock:

[lumberjack_jeff]

8. OUTSTANDING. K&R

Thank you for this.

[niyad]

9. k and r--thank you for posting this.

[bobbolink]

18. Thanks for the KnR.... I hope you will share this.

We are better than this.

[Altoid_Cyclist]

14. Thanks for sharing this.

Pledge signed and added to FB.

[bobbolink]

17. Thank you so much! It didn't occur to me to ask people to add it to FB!

:yourock:

[laylah]

21. Onto facebook...

I wish you well. :hug:

jenn

[ipaint]

15. Done and kick.

I worked in group homes for people with intellectual disabilities for years.

"Retard" is a bigoted slur.

[bobbolink]

19. The people in those "homes" are worth more than all the people put together

who use the "R" word.

And I include Rahm in that. :evilgrin:

I was in special ed, and "my kids" were the most special in the world! I learned so much from them. I am sick of this being such an accepted slur.

:pals:

[ipaint]

43. I was privileged to work with adults.

Many directly out of abusive outdated 19th century institutions. They struggled daily to be seen as people worthy of respect and a place in society just like everyone else.

[Uncle Joe]

16. I agree, it's a hurtful word which damages many more people than the intended target.

The result is a subconscious demonization of people with mental disabilities.

Thanks for the thread, bobbolink.

[bobbolink]

20. I'm not sure its "subconscious". I think it is an attack on "the other", which

this country has become very fond of doing.

"Freedom". Yet, when someone is different, and thereby using that "freedom", we love to demonize.

Especially the most vulnerable.

[Uncle Joe]

26. I believe the attacker may be conscious of his/her choice of words but to the

ignorant third party listeners, the shotgun message; damages the innocent "others" in a more collateral, non-intended manner.

To the third party listener, their conscious focus may be more on the intended target, but nonetheless, the demonized messages against the "others" sinks in at a subconscious level to those third party listeners; that don't challenge this type of language.

I agree re: the demonization of those; who are different, my own gut feeling is that instinct is part of our lizard brain, I believe we will eventually evolve past this primitive urge.

[bobbolink]

59. I like your explanation. I'm not convinced it is the 'lizard' brain... I know too many people who

are otherwise.

In any case, as I see it, it is time for us in this society to grow up and quit looking for "the other" to demonize.

And that includes, of course, we who are homeless.

Having gotten another prejudicial attack because of that last week, I am just done with people who consider themselves soooo smart and soooo educated, and are much more "birdbrained" as another poster on this thread said, than any of us without homes are.

And some of the very worst are those who were demonized themselves!

I link myself will all who are demonized... it must STOP!

Thank you, Uncle Joe! :yourock:

[OneGrassRoot]

22. K&R Thanks. :) n/t

[bobbolink]

29. Thanks!

[dogday]

23. I have an Autistic Sister who is 50 and from the time she was

a little girl, everyone would ask if she was retarded, and it used to make me so angry at these people who I found to be ignorant. I finally came to realize I should be feeling sorry for them because they will never know the joy it is to have someone like my Sister in their life.


Keep up the good work!

[bobbolink]

31. My salute to your sister! And she is lucky to have you as a sibling.

I'm afraid I can just no longer "feel sorry" for those who are so callous. Having come to recognize that this is now a sociopathic society, my feelings run the other way.

I recently watched a really good movie... "Autism: The Musical". It was very moving. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.

Thanks, dogday!

:hi:

[Odin2005]

25. Done!

[bobbolink]

34. Thanks, Odin!

:hi:

[Liberal_in_LA]

27. kick

[bobbolink]

37. Thanks! Please pass it along!

:hi:

[defendandprotect]

28. Words convey feelings ... we have to be sure no one is hurt by them...!

[bobbolink]

38. sadly, we live in a pathological society where the feelings of others don't matter.

And, further, many take DELIGHT in hurting others.

You may see a response to that effect on this thread.

Path-o-fucking-logical.

[w8liftinglady]

30. As someone who worked with the mentally-challenged patients and their families for years

This term is used in an offensive fashion against these people,and it can be hurtful,especially when it extends to insulting others.It falls in the same catagory as other derogatory terms,as it has the same outcome for those it "applies" to.Humane treatment is due all.

[bobbolink]

53. Yes, I think those of us who have known these people personally have a much different view.

Hence the need for "mainstreaming".

Personally, I have a lot more heart for the people so described than I do for the bulk of the rest of this country anymore.

Isn't it interesting that it wouldn't be allowed to say "You (n-word)" about someone we don't like, but the r-word is OK.

Hateful.

Just hateful.

[mntleo2]

32. Pledge Gladly Taken!

Some of the wisest, most gentle and caring people I know have intellectual disabilities. I learn from them about patience, kindness, and taking people for who they are. My first lesson came as a young woman from my friend Amos. At first I began our friendship by being "nice" to him (translate "feeling superior" ). As the years went by however, my respect for him grew until I wished I could BE like Amos. He was my hero, he had courage, gentleness, and a heueueueuge loving and forgiving heart. Whenever I told him how I wished I could be like him, he would shyly shrug his shoulders and say, "Awwww Cat it's easy, just let God talk to your heart and then you will know how to do it too..." I would try to tell him I did not hear God quite as clearly as he did and he would say, "All ya gotta do is listen, silly!" LOL

Using the "R" word is offensive to me because it pertains to beautiful people like Amos. It is just as bad to use that word as the "n" word, or any other offensive terms like that that demean people and show no respect.

Thanks for reminding people that terms like this are hurtful, demeaning and should not be used in a derogatory manner, Bobbie. Your insight and wisdom as usual shines the light on important things and boy do I love you for it!

Love,
Cat

[bobbolink]

54. Thank you! And a salute to your friend Amos!

My favorite author in this realm is Jean Vanier, and he has many stories like this to tell. In his later years, he has created communities all over the world bringing together mentally disabled people and others. He always says that he has been taught a lot.

For me, it was a young man named David. He had Phenylketonuria, and was abnormally strong for his size. He scared the nurse in charge of the building, and I took on that fear. Later, (to make a long story short), I took him out of the building on walks, and watched as he discovered so many new things with a beautful sense of wonder.

He taught me the true meaning of "Don't judge a book by its cover."

Your Amos sounds like a true hero. Listening with your heart is something we should all be doing... and Amos knew it instinctively.

Here's to all the Amos' and Davids: :toast:

[GreenPartyVoter]

33. I think this pledge is a great idea!

[bobbolink]

60. Yes it is, and here is where to sign it

http://www.r-word.org/

Right now I'm feeling like printing it out and standing in front of the library and asking people to sign it.

Maybe we need a designated day to do so.

[GreenPartyVoter]

66. Thank you, and done. And I think that's a good idea. I wonder if any of the larger

advocacy groups have tried doing this before?

[bobbolink]

78. As far as I know, no groups have done this the way it occurred to me to do it.

Because they have a "pledge" to sign, it could be easy enough to do.

Print up the pledge with empty lines to sign, put them on a clipboard, and get permission from libraries, grocery stores, etc. Groups of friends could do this and spread awareness.

I didn't check to see if they have buttons, etc. That could work, too.

I wishh I had more resources and energy, because I can see myself doing it. As it is, I am basically doing the homelessness awareness by myself, so I have none of myself to spare.

[GreenPartyVoter]

80. That's a great idea. I wonder, too, about asking teachers. My mom was a Sped teacher and

I bet she would have supported this.

[Lifelong Protester]

35. K & R

I agree, and if someone is cognitively disabled, use those words. If they are just acting ridiculuous, silly, dopey, unthinking, blunt, tactless, thick-headed, lumpish, birdbrained, ....

you get the idea.

[bobbolink]

58. ~~chuckle~~ I like your list! You prove that people can be CREATIVE in showing their

dislike and it isn't at all necessary to use words that innocent bystanders!

Thanks for the clever post!

:yourock:

[Name removed]

36. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Name removed]

40. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[G_j]

41. big K&R!

[bobbolink]

42. Thanks! Glad to see you... the pathological crowd has arrived... your presence is welcomed.

:hi:

[G_j]

56. just a quick stop

I no longer have internet at home, I'm at work..
:hi: :hug:

excellent post!

[bobbolink]

57. Thanks all the more for taking the time.

You are missed.

:hug:

Hope things are a bit better.....

[lightningandsnow]

44. Thank you so much for this!

I'd also add calling political opponents "mentally ill", "schizo", or "bipolar" to the list of ableist language, but posting this is definitely a good start.

:hug:

[bobbolink]

46. It is very sad that it even has to be said. It should be taken as a given that "progressives" don't

use this kind of language.

As you can see from this thread, there are those who are insistant that the hatefulness in their language be accepted, and alerting does no good.

How far we have fallen. :cry:

[nxylas]

51. K&R

My dad is a retired psychiatric nurse and I had it drilled into my head from a very early age that people with mental health problems or learning disabilities are human beings deserving of respect, or at least basic courtesy. Not only "retarded", but also woords like "loony" were banned from our house when I was growing up. I have been guilty of using such words to describe teabaggers and the like, but I draw the line at the r-word.

[bobbolink]

62. What a wonderful story about your dad!

Sadly, I now see people in that profession who seem to lack any kind of common courtesy and compassion. It's all about power and control.

Your dad sounds like a gem, and I'm glad to hear there are parents who teach such things!

For your dad... :yourock:

[nxylas]

70. My dad often had to fight such people in the past

Luckily, he was able to work his way up to a senior enough position that he was able to do that. So sad to see that attitudes haven't changed. I had hoped that we would be more enlightened nowadays than when my dad started nursing in the early 1960s.

[bobbolink]

79. So, he was an anomalie... sad. That is what I have seen, but it would be nicer

if my eperience was the odd one.

I very much appreciate his integrity... and I hope you will tell him so... from one who has experienced the worst hatefulness from that profession!

If anything, the "enlightenment" has gone backwards. :(

[bliss_eternal]

55. done and kicking....

...thanks for this! :thumbsup::hi: happy to take this pledge!

i tend to question the integrity and manners of those that use the r word, in any form. doesn't it seem a sign of one's personal insecurity, to hurl such a name at others? i've read that it's also a way that bullies tend to project their massive sense of inadequacy onto those, they target (due to feeling threatened by them).

in other words, it tends to say more about the name-caller, than the person they are attempting to label. ;)

[bobbolink]

64. Thanks! Please pass it on!

I think ALL people who need to demonize others are acting out of their own ignorance and insecurity, and that includes affluent people and "progressives" who do the same.

Having been recently targetted with a big dose of prejudice for being homeless, I can say that people who consider themselves "aware" and "educated" and "smart" can be among the worst.

And the damage is does is sometimes HUGE. :(

[Name removed]

61. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[TheBigotBasher]

63. K&R

Bigotry is bigotry.

[bobbolink]

65. Indeed, it is. There is always "the other" to look down on.

Its pathetic that so many 'Murkins need to have people to bash. :(

[maryf]

67. Thanks Bobbie!!

My Uncle Raymond would thank you too...:pals:

[Bluebear]

68. kicked gladly

[a la izquierda]

71. K & R Thanks Bobbie!

I've managed to get most of my friends to stop using the word to refer to something that is "stupid" or "idiotic." They're all good people, they just need to broaden their vocabularies to include words that aren't offensive.

Hope you're well, btw. I've not been lurking as frequently.

[mstinamotorcity]

72. +1

kick

[Pacifist Patriot]

73. My kids (and their friends) learned early on that I will not tolerate...

"that's so gay" or "how retarded is that?" or any use of such types of words as insults in my home. Yes, under my roof I will lecture someone else's kid when it comes to stuff like this. (Politely of course.)

[jmondine]

74. Everyone in my house has some form of mental disability

While I don't take it personally when someone uses words like "crazy" or "retard", I certainly don't like being associated with the likes of Beck and Bachmann. I love the poster above who says we need VOCABULARY. It's not that I want people to censor themselves. I just think there need to be distinctions made between those struggling with a real disorder and those who willfully choose self delusion and/or self serving propaganda.

I propose, "scum sucking vermin".

[stuntcat]

81. I don't think "retarded" should be used for handicapped or impaired people

it's a very negative word, I think.

[bobbolink]

82. As was stated in the OP, it is UNACCEPTABLE in any context, and that is the DU rule, also.

Do NOT use this word when what you mean is "stupid", etc.