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Pssst! Hey buddy, have I ever got a racket for you. Here's how to create a booming cash cow industry, expand government power and authority, and create a massive slave labor work force, all in Seven Easy Steps!
1. Find some really horribly screwed up people who have gotten completely addicted to extremely dangerous "hard" drugs like heroin, meth, etc. Ignore any casual users or people who have cleaned up on their own. Plaster the skinny, toothless images of the unfortunate addicts all over the TV and media to create some serious fear.
2. Ban those drugs. Nobody will really give a hoot (me included) because they really are pretty nasty drugs with big risks, and they really do screw a lot of people up. Sure, maybe the fear is a bit over-hyped, but meh, whatever. Fine, go for it. Good riddance.
(NOW COMES THE EVIL GENIUS BAIT AND SWITCH SCHEME)
3. Find an almost completely harmless drug tons of people want to use recreationally, and proceed to paint it as a horrible "gateway drug" that leads to the really nasty drugs you've already banned. TOTALLY IGNORE the fact that two far more common ACTUAL gateway drugs (tobacco and alcohol) are perfectly legal, because those industries have money and lobbyists. TOTALLY IGNORE the fact that those two ACTUAL gateway drugs kill more people than all other drugs combined, including the really nasty ones.
4. Ban that almost totally harmless drug. A few people will protest, but you can discredit them by ridiculing them in the media. Remember, this ALWAYS works, because people have fragile egos and run home crying when made fun of by "mainstream society." Besides, most people won't care anyway, because by now you'll have brainwashed them into believing that the almost harmless drug is a horrible menace.
(IN THE RED CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT 800 POUNDS, IT'S CAPITALISM)
5. Now, start arresting the shit out of people. It's easy, since tons of people still want to use the almost harmless drug and will do so secretly. Not too secretly, though, since this is when you'll start brainwashing people into believing that it's perfectly normal and acceptable to have your frigging bodily fluids confiscated and examined as a condition of employment, among other outrageous violations of basic human dignity.
Ain't this fun? The jails ought to be filling up like gangbusters by now - and with the very worst kind of people - independent thinking types who continue using the almost harmless drug even after you're clearly informed them of its (phony) horrors. People who don't just reflexively believe every goddamned thing Authority tells them - in other words, the kind of people you don't want running around free anyway.
6. Oh boy, people are already getting rich. Can you smell the money? Lawyers and judges are already making out like bandits, but that's not enough. Not nearly enough when there's so much more that can be done. Start by bringing private companies into the prisons. Now, watch this, it's bloody brilliant: You get the taxpaying public to pay for the jails and infrastructure which you then turn around and use for private profit. Are you getting excited yet? If not, you must be dead, or worse yet, you might have a conscience. Never going to get ahead in business that way, son.
7. PROFIT! That's pretty much it - seven simple steps to success. It all ties together so perfectly - you simultaneously expand government power, funnel truckloads of cash to big business, and lock up large portions of the free-thinking population. Truly a thing of beauty, and if that's not enough, it doesn't hurt that the almost harmless drug is also an amazingly useful textile that could put some of your Big Business buddies in the unemployment line - that is, if we hadn't already used the Seven Simple Steps.
Happy fun and profits! Oh, and by the way, did you notice that even though I never named the "almost harmless drug," every reader knows exactly what it is? That's a clue... follow it.
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