This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Guns Around The House

[joeybee12]

Okay, that is it. Timothy, Rebecca, come here this instant! I've simply had it with you two. I thought I heard a .357 Magnum round discharge, and sure enough, what do I find when I open the end-table drawer but your father's still-smoking Desert Eagle. Just look at it! The nickel plating is scratched up, and what's this on the trigger—peanut butter? Dear Lord, I suppose you thought you could just put it back and no one would ever notice?

This is precisely why we can't have any nice guns around here.

Listen, you can cry all you want about how it was an accident, but that isn't getting either of you off the hook. Timothy, you're old enough to know when a firearm's safety mechanism has been disengaged, and Rebecca, maybe if you set a better example for your little brother once in a while, he'd know that he shouldn't be horsing around with the most expensive semiautomatic handgun in the house.

I swear, you kids will be the death of me. I don't care who started shooting first! I don't want to hear it. You're both in big trouble. You just wait until we're back from getting Timothy patched up and your father hears about this. My heavens, this is worse than the time you two bent the firing pin on my good Glock 19 because you wanted to see if it could shoot .30-caliber rounds.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-is-why-we-cant-have-nice-guns-around-the-hous,18378/

[spin]

1. Is the article supposed to have a point?

I fail to see any humor as leaving firearms accessible to children is not a joking matter. Responsible gun owners are aware of this and secure their firearms properly.

# In 1999, 3,385 children and youth ages 0-19 years were killed with a gun. This includes homicides, suicides, and unintentional injuries.
# This is equivalent to about 9 deaths per day, a figure commonly used by journalists.
# The 3,385 firearms-related deaths for age group 0-19 years breaks down to:


* 214 unintentional
* 1,078 suicides
* 1,990 homicides
* 83 for which the intent could not be determined
* 20 due to legal intervention

# Of the total firearms-related deaths:

* 73 were of children under five years old
* 416 were children 5-14 years old
* 2,896 were 15-19 years old
http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/guns.htm

[joeybee12]

2. Do you ever read The Onion? nt

[spin]

3. Occasionally. The subject of kids and guns is very important to me ...

The article pushed one of my buttons.

Perhaps that was what it was designed to do. Still, I have enjoyed shooting for 40+ years and have raised children in the same time frame. I always took precautions to prevent my firearms being accessed by my daughter or other children visiting in our house. I also trained my daughter in the safe handling of firearms and took her to the range to learn how to shoot.

Firearms have to be treated with great respect and care at all times.

[joeybee12]

4. It's satire, and, quite frankly, you just know there are people out there

like this.

[spin]

5. Yes there are people who are irresponsible ...

but the number of accidents involving truly young children has been decreasing for years.

Major Findings
* In the decade 1990 – 2000, unintentional deaths from firearms declined by 45%.
*Firearms are involved in less than 1% of all accidental deaths in the United States.
* Unintentional deaths from firearms accounted for only 3% of all firearm-related deaths.
* Since 1975, the annual number of firearm accident deaths among children has decreased by
84%.emphasis added

* In 2000, there was a total of 98,000 unintentional accidental deaths in the United States -
42,900 deaths were caused by motor-vehicle accidents, 14,500 deaths were caused by
poisoning, 14,200 deaths were caused by falls, 3,900 deaths were caused by fires, 3,300
deaths were caused by drowning, and 776 deaths were caused by the accidental discharge of
a firearm.
http://www.responsivemanagement.com/download/reports/Firearmaccidentsreport.pdf

[SheilaT]

6. I love how it EXACTLY captures the

tone of an exasperated mother.

I am a strongly anti-gun person myself, but I do recognize satire when I see it.

[spin]

7. Perhaps the difference between you and me ...

is that I also realize just how dangerous firearms are, BUT I actually own them. There's nothing humorous about playing with handguns.