Hear me out, I know how to save the economy

[NightWatcher]

Way to stimulate the economy: National Day of Smashing Things. 

There are a few disclaimers however. You can only smash things in an upward direction and you cannot cause physical pain. For example, you cannot smash your neighbor's front window, but you can smash the window of the AT&T building downtown. While your neighbor cannot afford it, AT&T can. They will then have to have that window replaced. Jimbo's Glass Shoppe will see and increase in business and have to hire a few more installers. Feel free to set fire to any luxury autos parked on the street or smash them thoroughly enough so that they will go out and buy another. Remember, only cars that are nicer than yours. This would cause more hiring to take place all throughout the automotive food chain. At your office on Smashing Day be sure to smash your computer, dismantle your desk, and knock over that stinky old fridge in the break room.  Destroy tractors, slash tires, and save Detroit- nay, save America.... SMASH SHIT AND SAVE THE DAY

Halmark will print cards, local bakers will make cakes, and we can give gifts to replace the shit that gets smashed up. Environmentalists will have to hide their eyes but it's for the greater good. Hell, even the garbage truck companies will have to hire more help and buy more trucks. 

And even if the government will not make the formal declaration of this holiday, we must take it upon our selves to save us all. 

If it's successful, it can be a biannual event, or even quarterly. Shit, everyday can be Smashing Day. The Smashing Pumpkins will play a free concert on the National Mall. We must save the Republic even if we need to make every day Smashing Day. 

So get smashing kiddies, your country is counting on you. 

[Pab Sungenis]

1. I think instead of the dripping "sarcasm" icon

we need a dripping "satire" icon for those who don't get this post. This is brilliant.

[TBF]

2. I might lose the satire icon altogether -

smashing some stuff might actually be the direction to go ... although I tend to favor peaceful strikes. But this voting thing clearly isn't working very well for us ...

[hollowdweller]

6. How about this

Lower retirement age and age of eligibility for medicare to 62. That will allow more people to retire and open up jobs for young folks.

How about raising the minimum wage to 10 an hour? Since a LOT of the jobs that can't be offshored are service type jobs that will give them a lot more money to buy things.

[Uben]

3. Brilliant!...........NOT!

Hell yeah, go and and smash somebody's stuff so they'll have to buy another, as if insurance rates aren't already high enough.
Of course, it will also save you money on meals and lodging because you'll be in jail for a few months, at the expense of taxpayers......again! And if your lucky, no one will kill you for acting like a complete fucking idiot!

[AlabamaLibrul]

5. Oh Jesus H. Christ! n/t

[Scuba]

4. Senator-elect Ron Johnson (R-Wis) already proposed this. He calls it "creative destruction."

No satire icon because it's not satire. The only diffence is instead of windows and cars, Johnson proposes smashing the lives of our citizens until our wages, benefits and working conditions match those of China and Viet Nam.

[The_Commonist]

7. We can call it The Festival!

And it can begin at The Red Hour!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao9Wxov9lQM

[tavalon]

8. WTO

It might well be time to take to the streets.