41% of US children born to unwed fathers

[prolesunited]

It's not just the women in this equation.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=9501007&mesg_id=9501007

[leftstreet]

1. lol

K&R

[OhioBlue]

2. I read the original thread

and I can agree that there is cause for concern, study, debate and even action.

But... I do have to say that my "gut" reaction was totally related to my own circumstances and thought the statistic was not cause for such great alarm.

My son was born out of wedlock. His father and I have been together for almost 9 years. We live together, sometimes refer to each other as "husband" or "wife", our son is 3. We are not much different from married couples other than we are not married.

Why aren't we married? Answer: not sure.... we've talked about it...

but.. maybe on my part it comes from being the child of parents who were divorced when I was 5.. not sure.. but I just don't put that much importance on "marriage". I put a lot of importance on family... just not marriage.

[ejpoeta]

27. i agree. my now husband and i were together for 10 years before we got married and we had a daughte

together. she was 5 when we got married. my husband's brother isn't married to his girlfriend and they have been together for several years as well and have three kids. i think marriage isn't such a big deal anymore. and the people who supposedly want to protect the sanctity of marriage might have had something to do with this.... maybe not, but i like to think that their efforts have had the effect of making marriage not as important somehow.

[regnaD kciN]

3. You don't know that...

Certainly, 41% of them are born to unwed mothers, but some of those fathers might be married...to someone else.

[dkf]

5. Women who cuckold their husbands don't show up as statistics either.

[dkf]

4. It's probably less...they can be married to other women after all.

[laconicsax]

6. So what?

What does it matter if any percent is or isn't married?

[slackmaster]

7. The legal status of the parents' relationship is not important to children

What matters is having the influence of healthy adults of both sexes, whether they are the child's biological parents or not.

The theory is that having one's parents married increases the likelihood of a biological father sticking around. Marriage used to mean something.

[laconicsax]

8. Marriage used to mean something?

What did it used to mean, what does it mean now?

[slackmaster]

9. That's another subject, OT for this thread which I do not wish to 'jack

:hi:

So make the post and link it. n/t

That would be a technical 'jack.

[laconicsax]

10. So make the post and link it. n/t

[Scuba]

23. Yeah, I'm sure glad my married parents stayed together. The drunkenness, fighting...

...police coming in the middle of the night made it real "leave it to Beaver" at our house.

I'll take a couple of unmarried gays any day.

[Jamastiene]

28. Thank you.

Having two married parents does not guarantee a loving home. It also does not guarantee a ticket out of poverty either...or any of the other claims these studies make.

[Scuba]

29. Love has nothing to do with the law.

[Confusious]

14. Two parents that loved me, and I knew it

would have been a great boon in my life.

children take, at a minimum, two adults to raise, In my opinion.

There are those who can get by on one, but I think the world would be a better place with a minimum of two.

Talking about extended family, not threesomes.

[laconicsax]

19. Marriage isn't required for a child to be raised by two loving parents. n/t

[Confusious]

22. Yes, but I think those statics represent

women without another parent in the home.

Besides that, if you think enough of a person to have kids, how is you can't think enough of them to give a simple promise?

[laconicsax]

30. Unmarried =/= alone.

[slackmaster]

20. My father died when I was very young. My mother re-married well, and I'll always be grateful.

Both to her and to my late stepfather, who taught me a lot of important things about being a responsible adult.

[knowbody0]

11. thank you

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. Recommended, even though it didn't show.

[Renew Deal]

13. That's not necessarily true

The fathers may be wed to someone else.

[JCMach1]

15. the only meaningful part of all this is that the kids, with one parent, are more likely born into

poverty.

21% of all children are currently under the poverty line http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/06/08/children.wellbeing/index.html?hpt=T3

[dkf]

16. Without two incomes it is even harder.

[JCMach1]

17. exactly... and we know about the stats on women's pay in the US

[dkf]

18. Yup. And it's hard to find a job that pays well yet has nice hours and flexibility.

[JI7]

21. this doesn't give enough info, how many have 2 fathers who can't legally wed ?

how many have 2 parents , a mother and father who just aren't married. how many are women who are well off and decided to have a child but doesn't want to get married.

what we need to know is how many are teenagers , how many have cases with deadbeats ?

[justiceischeap]

26. Or 2 mothers? Just sayin'... n/t

[David__77]

24. So the trend is in the right direction.

The nuclear family is not always best. There are many forms that can be conducive to the upbringing of creative, socially conscious (moral), intelligent children. The "traditionalists" think that human beings are mere beasts enslaved by biological necessity.

[Le Taz Hot]

25. I'm not so concerned about the "wedlock" part,

it's the youngins having youngins who were atrociously parented who are now parenting atrociously. It's also that BOTH parents are usually not involved in the children's lives.

I'm going to relate a story here that is going to piss off a lot of people but here it is. On the bus, not long ago, there were two young ladies (approx. age, maybe 16) talking. One was saying, "I'm so tired of not having any money." The other's response: "Have a baby!" I wonder how many times this scenario is played out.

It makes my heart ache to know that I fought so hard for women's reproductive freedom, for equality in the workplace and education and here we are, women having babies because they bring in money. Somewhere along the line the message of empowerment was lost.

[LostInAnomie]

31. You're welcome?

:yoiks: