Canada Reports Huge Jump in Immigration

[babylonsister]

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/canada_reports_huge_jump_in_immigration_20101107/

Canada Reports Huge Jump in Immigration

Posted on Nov 7, 2010


OTTAWA—Canadian immigration officials have reported a huge increase in the number of requests for Canadian citizenship in the past 24 hours, with more than 55 million such inquiries pouring in since late Tuesday night. Of those 55 million requests, well over 99.99 percent of them came from U.S. citizens, with a particularly large number coming from residents of Florida and Kentucky.

Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon said that he was “flabbergasted” by the 55-million-plus requests for Canadian citizenship, adding that it was difficult to pinpoint the precise reasons for the staggering increase. “My only theory is that after the 2010 winter Olympics, the sport of curling is finally starting to catch on,” he said.

He cautioned, however, that it is impossible to know exactly what is sparking the sudden interest in America’s frozen neighbor to the north: “People answering our immigration hotline say that it is hard to understand many of the American callers because they are sobbing uncontrollably.”

In other news, responding to Tuesday’s election returns, Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio, told reporters, “I’m so stoked, I just turned the tanning bed up to 11.”

But former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin struck a more somber note, saying that despite several key victories, “it was a tough night for tea party voters because it involved so much math.”










Fake news by Andy Borowitz

[Selatius]

1. I remember threads on here years back speculating about the feasibility of leaving the US.

Of course, in those days, Bush was in power. The government had widespread support in the corporate press. Government agencies used the Patriot Act or broke the law in terms of monitoring Americans, and telecom giants willingly colluded with these agencies to spy on Americans. The only thing Bush didn't do was go all-out and repeat the Palmer Raids.

[HughBeaumont]

2. We laugh about it, but really, America doesn't have much of a future with the road we're on.

So many people are against "BIG GUBMINT" anything to the point that they have their guns at the ready, yet seem to have absolutely no problem whatsoever bending over to lovingly receive whatever Corporate America will shove up there. Whether it's crap wages, job loss, denial of health care, bankrupting student loans, higher prices, food that's slowly killing them or poor all-around service, "TEH FREE MARKETZZ" apparently remain a much better option.

Corporate-Controlled America is only destined to collapse, and the TeaHadists seem to smile as the 16 Ton Weight falls on them. And us.

[Selatius]

5. The problem is money is distorting the elections to the advantage of corporations.

Now that corporations have won the right to spend unlimited amounts of money influencing campaigns according to the Supreme Court, I don't see our representatives more likely to do things for the greater good of all. If we wanted progressive legislation to pass, we elect more progressives to Congress, but the problem is it takes money the working class does not have to win the contests. Sure, we can elect enough Democrats until they are in the majority; we've seen that demonstrated, but not enough of them are going to be progressive, and that's where progressive legislation gets sunk in favor of half-solutions that do not go far enough.

[handmade34]

3. humorous, but

my daughter actually is in the process of requesting a work permit there... so it's not so funny to me

[Skidmore]

4. Nothing like abandoning ship.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

6. One could argue that that is what you do when the ship is sinking.

Especially when half the crew refuse to bail.

[Skidmore]

8. I believe that metaphor about sinking ships refers to

rats. I'm sorry but I don't have a lot of patience with people who do not stay put and fight.

[Edweird]

10. We hired a new captain that promised to change direction - BECAUSE he promised a new direction.

However, we are still ramming the same damned iceberg and taking on water.

[scarletwoman]

9. It's a humor piece. (nt)

[dgibby]

13. Are your ancestors immigrants to the US?

Mine are. Some were in the second wave of settlers at Jamestown, Va. I never thought of them as abandoning ship when they left Ireland, Scotland, England, and later, Canada and Germany, though.

If I understand you correctly, if one's ancestors weren't Native American, then they all abandoned ship, or am I missing something?

[mmonk]

7. Funny but not really.

I intend to look at possibilities in Canada for my two sons. One has autism and other a lifelong medical problem. Though both are smart, I want to make sure where they live is best for them.

[scarletwoman]

11. "...it is hard to understand many of the American callers because they are sobbing uncontrollably."

In other news, responding to Tuesday's election returns, Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio, told reporters, "I'm so stoked, I just turned the tanning bed up to 11."

:rofl:

[pinboy3niner]

12. LOL!

But, with Bachmann's re-election, they should have included Minnesota, too.

[cascadiance]

14. Surprised they didn't include Wisconsin too...

And have many of them complain that they were told to vote on Wednesday instead or something like that. Or perhaps they were Wisconsin residents that already had a sizable amount of family members that had moved out of there to Canada earlier that they want to join now...

[DainBramaged]

15. Must be the Onion

55 million......maybe 5500.