At what age is it okay for a kid to have a cell phone?

[cynatnite]

Our son is 11 years old and has a birthday in a few months. He's been after us about a cell phone. A part of me wants to let him have it, but another part of me says he's too young. Right now it's easy to say no because he really doesn't need one. We're home a lot and he's not out by himself a great deal at this point in his life.

He's saying that he has a lot of friends with cell phones. Of course, kids will say that. They don't want to be the only one without.

My gut says no right now. What do you think? What age is appropriate for a cell phone?

[Phentex]

1. It's the texting...

talking on the phone is so yesterday. Now the kids communicate by texting. If you can get a good cheap plan with text usage, why not?

[sufrommich]

6. Yep, if you get the phone, get unlimited texting. nt

[LynneSin]

113. my nephew had a classmate whose parents forgot the unlimited texting

:scared:

You could have bought a used car for what their bill ended up being.

[Ex Lurker]

155. I disagree. get plain-jane voice capability only. no texting, no video, no camera.

you're paying for it, you get to set the parameters. if the phone has no text/video/image capability, it's harder for someone to "sext," stalk, or bully them and vice versa. It's a communication device, so they can keep you informed of where they are and what they're doing. They don't need text, video, data, etc. for that. They'll bitch and moan, but so what. Your peace of mind is worth it.

[Warpy]

16. Why not? They do it in class and get them confiscated

and good luck getting it back from a pissed off teacher without a long and embarrassing parent-teacher conference.

The kid is too damn young. Wait at least until he's a teenager.

[stopbush]

44. Do you have kids?

Just asking, because as a parent with a 13- and 18-year-old, I am absolutely sold on them having cell phones.

We got our kids their own phones back in 2008, when my daughter was 11. There's nothing better for keeping track of your kid when they're with friends or at school. Much easier to hook up with them when it's time to pick them up. Much easier to deal with emergencies, changes of plans, etc. I'd much rather have them call me and tell me they were staying after school for an activity and to pick them up later than to drive the 10 miles from my office only to sit in the parking lot for an hour.

They don't use their phones during school hours because they'd be confiscated by the teachers. You learn to send a text that they can check between classes.

Cell phones are a blessing these days. I can't imagine the kids not having them.

[shanti]

114. insurance is imperative~!

how many cellphones have your kids lost, destroyed, or had stolen? i got my youngest a cell when he was 11 and he promptly lost it. i think he went thru about 5-6 cellphones until he was 18, and a couple more after that! i didn't have insurance on any of them, but i spent a lot of money on replacements and (before unlimited service-metropcs) a LOT of money on overages.

that said, as a worrywart, i'm still a believer in kids having cellphones.

[stopbush]

121. None. They've lost/destroyed none. I still have their old Razr phones in the closet.

They're very careful with their phones because they know that they're valuable and they also know that if they lose them they won't be replaced, at least not by their parents.

They know that having a cell phone is a privilege, and they act accordingly.

[KittyWampus]

109. Because at 11, children are still learning social skills and problem solving.

Using cell phones/texting has definitely impacted younger generations negatively.

[Brickbat]

2. My kids can have cell phones when they can pay for them.

My 11-year-old can always use someone else's or use a landline when he needs to get a hold of me. He hasn't demonstrated any need for one; if it's a want, he can pay for it himself.

[hlthe2b]

18. what a novel thought... make them earn it...

I know damned well if my parents were alive today and I were a child, they would be very reluctant to let me have a cell phone. I think they would relent, if I earned it in some manner--not necessarily pay the whole bill, but do work at home or some kind of activity that showed responsibility in exchange.

I know this is how I was raised, but I just don't understand why kids should expect to get everything they want, when they want, no strings attached...:shrug:

[stopbush]

49. Sure, if you look at a cell phone as a toy.

If you look at it like a tool, it's different.

BTW - believe it or not, with web access on their smart phones, my kids use their cells as a real aid to their school work, just the way we all use the internet as a tool for learning.

Kids adapt quickly to technology and use it effectively. My kids get a lot more out of their cells than I do out of mine (I use it as a phone/answering device).

The simple fact is that with the advances in cell phone tech and access to data, a cell is like a kid having his own portable computer with him at all times.

To imagine that kids just stand around wasting time and $ sending "OMG!" messages back and forth is silly. They don't for the simple fact that it gets boring really fast, and if there's one thing kids can't stand, it's being bored.

Why stand in the way of progress and reality? There's no more benefit in doing so in the case of cell phones than there is in imagining that ancient kosher laws are worth following for their nutritional value.

[hlthe2b]

56. I have had "smart phones" since their earliest inception

and I have found ways to kill more hours than I care to admit using them, when I was trapped in line or just plain bored. Learning tool? Well, ok, if you say so. I'd have no problem making that case re: a laptop or maybe even an ipad. But, I have lots of experience with smart phones and you can count me skeptical. I don't consider them toys, btw and I do appreciate the advantage of having them be "reachable" by phone.

[uncommon]

58. You think that texting gets "boring really fast" lol?

First of all, I am 29 and have been texting for almost 10 years and still do so prolifically.

Second, didn't you pass notes in middle and high school? Imagine being able to do it even faster, with less chance of getting caught, to friends who aren't even in the room or even at school that day.

If you think that's dull, you do not understand being a teenager.

[hlthe2b]

67. I find it fascinating that many friends are shocked...

absolutely shocked...when they see how many thousands of texts their kids are sending. I'm just betting they aren't having deep philosophical discussions nor discussing their homework all day long. ;)

That said, I can understand the advantage of having kids electronically "linked" and available (to the extent they will respond to a call from dear ole Dad or Mom)

[uncommon]

70. For serious lol.

Texting is impossibly convenient and quite enjoyable. I am an adult and probably send on average at least 50 texts per day. That's what, 1500 per month. And I have better things to do. Kids don't lol.

[Codeine]

124. It's amazing how completely natural texting becomes.

My friends are all in the 40ish age group, and we've all completely embraced texting.

[Brickbat]

As I say, I don't see a need or benefit for him at this stage.

[Codeine]

122. Texting "boring"?! o_O

I send and receive well over eight or nine thousand texts and Tweets a month. It's my preferred mode of communication -- my friends and I simply do NOT call each other; everything is done via text, Twitter, or email (forwarded to our smartphones, natch.)

I'm 40, by the way.

edit HOLY JEBUS! Just checked my bill online for last month -- in October I sent or received 14841 texts or Tweets! :wow: That's amazing even to me!

[Brickbat]

92. Yeah, as I said -- my kid just hasn't demonstrated any sort of need for one, and while it's more of

a "would like" than "MUST HAVE OR MY PEERS WILL HATE MEEEEEEEEEEE" type of thing, he understands that if he's going to get one in the next few years, it'll come out of his pocket. He wanted a Nintendo DS (hand-held computer game) that cost about $100 and we told him he was welcome to save up for one. We talked about doing chores above and beyond his daily chores (more like special projects) that we paid him a few bucks at a time for. He saved up enough after several months and he was so proud.

So many parents hear "I MUST HAVE!" when their kids are just saying "I would like." And when a kid says "I would like," it often just means "I'm not sure what you would think about this, and I'm not even sure if I would like it, but I'm going to throw it out there and see your reaction."

[uncommon]

25. Amen.

This is my stance. The only way I would change my mind would be if my ex-husband makes it difficult for my daughter to call me when she is at his house, then I would consider providing a cell phone during that time only and taking it back when she returns.

[riderinthestorm]

133. No way. I want complete control over "my" kids' phone!

Never, never, never have them pay their bill for a cell phone imho. Make sure you control (own) this device, especially for an 11 year old.

You want to dictate texting, usage, privileges with the phone vis-a-vis schoolwork and grades. No way would I cede control over this particular tool to a child.

I got one for my then 10 year old because my husband was having a health emergency and her school was really uncooperative about passing along messages. A private line between her and us solved the problem. We implemented unlimited texting immediately so we could leave her messages even in the middle of the day that she could get as soon as she turned the phone on after school.

She never has abused the phone and while the health emergency is over, she's kept the phone because she has been so responsible about it.

[Brickbat]

145. Oh, in my house, just because he's paying for it doesn't mean he would have "total control."

It would be different than when he saved up for a DS.

[Skittles]

158. certainly that's what my dad would have said

times sure have changed though

[Zephie]

3. It depends on the childs maturity level, as well as if he has a lot of out of home activities

Any child that does after school activities should have a phone immediately in my opinion. Being able to get in touch with your parents without having to go through some other adult (who may tell whatever the situation in question is from their perspective instead of that of the child) is essential in this society.
If he doesn't partake in after school activities it really depends on if he can be trusted not to misuse it. 11 sounds about age appropriate to me, as long as there are restrictions in place about usage. Plus, the taking the phone away punishment is always an effective way of keeping the child in line.

[Brickbat]

9. I have to say I don't understand your take on it.

After-school activities make it essential that a kid has a cell phone because other adults might -- what?

[Zephie]

14. Sorry, having trouble wording it.

Children in after school programs who might have an issue with the adults overseeing the program may have a hard time contacting their parents when the problems arise, mainly due to the fact that the kids often will have to go through whoever is "in charge" to get in touch with the parents. If the adult who is supervising the children disagrees with whatever the kids stance on the issue may be, they will often relay the information to the parents in a way that would paint the child in a negative light or even refuse to relay it at all.

[uncommon]

30. Adults are in control of school situations for a reason.

The only conclusion I can draw from what you are saying is that your child's teachers and other adult supervisors are too incompetent to watch after your child. In which case, I have to question why you would allow your child into their care?

[Zephie]

35. I don't have children. I am speaking from personal experiences as a child and teen.

So you'll have to ask my mother about why she let me be taken care of by them. There are many times I would have traded anything to be able to directly talk to my family instead of having an adult do it for me. Maybe you could get an answer out of her... I know I haven't been able to, much to my distress.

[Brickbat]

72. That sounds like a problem that would take more than a cell phone to solve, IMO.

If it's minor, the kid can wait until I come get them. If it's serious, and there isn't another adult to appeal to or it's a matter of personal safety, then having a cell phone or not sounds like it's low on the problem scale.

[Duke Newcombe]

110. This. There are some problems technology isn't meant to solve. n/t

[uncommon]

27. Lol. I did a lot of after-school activities and never had a cell phone. Schools have phones.

This argument doesn't wash with me at all.

[Zephie]

29. It's just my opinion. Most modern schools won't let you use the phone without permission anymore

See my clarification for my reasons. Either way, the OP asked for opinions, I gave mine. =)

[uncommon]

31. They didn't let you use it without permission 10 years ago either.

How about, here's a novel idea, *ask* for permission!

I realize you are just sharing your opinion - it's just that your opinion doesn't make any sense to me at all.

[stopbush]

57. And 150 years ago, promoting indoor plumbing at schools

wouldn't have washed as a necessity with many people.

Your point?

[uncommon]

60. My point is that a cell phone is not a necessity for an 11 year old child.

I can see the reasons for a high school student, especially a driver, to have a cell phone, but not a fifth grader.

This is hardly indoor plumbing. And since parents are free to buy their newborns cell phones if they want to, there is really no harm in expressing my opinion that this is unbearably stupid.

[stopbush]

82. If you wish to put it in terms of what qualifies as a necessity for an 11-year-old,

then one can be quite miserly in handing out what's needed.

Certainly, a computer isn't a necessity. Neither is a well-stocked library on the school premises. Neither is a hot lunch program. Neither are the most up-to-date textbooks. Those are all pretty "stupid" things to desire for kids, at least if you compare them to what we had when we were in school.

There aren't a whole lot of things that one could make the case for being "necessities" in the life of an 11-year-old. You're right there.

[uncommon]

103. For an 11 year old, a cell phone is a toy, not a super useful piece of tech. They will play games

and text their friends who have cell phones.

I'm glad you feel the need to equate the "need" for a cell phone with the need for food and books in school. Get over yourself.

[stopbush]

118. Do you happen to have an 11-yr-old in your home? I did, and she had a cell.

And what a silly thing to say, that a cell phone is not a "super useful piece of tech" to an 11 yr old.

Right - and a phone isn't necessarily super useful until you need to call an ambulance. Most of the time a phone is used to bullshit with friends and order pizza delivery.

Cell phones are a leading technology being used in schools today to assist students with their studies. It's a lot cheaper to get your kid a smart phone than a computer, and cell phones are doing more and more of what we used to do on computers.

I'll get over myself when you catch up with the times.

[Brickbat]

117. Wait, your school hands out smart phones to all the kids along with hot lunches textbooks?

Huh.

[stopbush]

120. No. Neither do they hand out clothes to wear, nor do they pay for my kids

pens, pencils, protractors, notebooks, gym uniforms and any other number of things that are necessary for a kid in school these days. They don't hand out hot lunches, either. We pay for them. Even the school bus costs parents $500 a year per pupil, and that's if your kid moves up the waiting list for the school bus.

What's your point?

[Oceansaway]

4. my nephews/nieces all got cell

phones by the age of 12....sad to admit, their idiot parents

use cell phones as electronic baby sitters....

[sufrommich]

5. My niece was 13 when she got hers, her 10 year old

brother has to wait until he's 13 to get his. One advantage to giving a teenager a phone is the threat of taking it away to promote good behavior.

[Bucky]

7. I'd say no. They have GPS kiddie trackers now. But give a kid a cell phone and he'll never exercise.

I dunno. It's just such a means toward tuning out reality. Maybe it's harmless, but it seems like kids oughta be kids for a bit longer than product advertisers will let them. In my day, it was tennis shoes that made the cool kids cool. In my dad's day, it was having your own car. I gave my kid her cell phone at 15, I think, which was later than her peer group (according to her).

Maybe buy an old one with no functions on it (no texting, fr'instance) and see if he holds onto it. If it's just for safety, that'll be enough. Personally, I think kids should have more danger in their lives. I learned a lot from all that shit I got into when I was 13.

[WinkyDink]

8. When he's old enough to learn to hold the device at least an inch away from his head.

They come with warnings in the fine print now.

[babydollhead]

21. you are right

[WinkyDink]

149. I think they are one of those things that, 2 decades from now, it'll be "Ooops!" You know?

[redirish28]

10. IMHO granted I don't have children of my own but I do have a lot of

nieces and nephews and cousins and I think by the age of 11 is a good age for a kid to have a phone especially with so many families no longer having landlines.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

11. When they earn enough money to pay for it.

[bdamomma]

150. ...................

:thumbsup:

[peace13]

12. 16 if they are driving or slightly younger if they are using mass transit alone.

If you do decide to get him a phone please get him a head set because there is radiation involved in using the darn things and his brains are tender. I fear for the young people today. They are a science experiment for the phone companies.

I think having a 'floater' phone for the family is a good idea though. If the kids are at the movie or out where other parents are supposed to be picking them up it is good insurance.

Having a phone number of his own certainly opens him up to a lot of things that he may not be ready for.

[realisticphish]

13. whenever

I didn't get one until college, but now the social situation is much different than when I was in middle school ~12-13 years ago.

Just get a really cheap one with unlimited texting, and you're golden. The question is when to do so. I'd say 14 is a reasonable age these days, though I'm not an indignant 13 year old, either...

[nonconformist]

15. Go with your gut.

My oldest son (now 15) got his first cell phone for his 14th birthday. We got him a pay as you go phone to start. My middle son, who is 12, wants one badly. He also claims that most of his friends have them, but when you actually ask specifics, we found that most of them actually don't.

We might get him one when he turns 13. It depends.

Also, our 15 year old hardly used his phone for the first several months. It was more of a novelty for him, which is why pay as you go is a good starter phone. He only recently, in the last several months, got into texting, and that is mostly what he uses it for now.

Anyway, in most parenting matters (and life in general), your gut is usually right.

[JackintheGreen]

17. We did it at 13

Mostly because landlines are increasingly uncommon. It's all well and good to tell your kid that hanging out at a friend's house is fine but fer crissakes call at 5.30...then the parents don't keep a landline anymore.

Most of her friends got them at 11 (middle school here). We made her wait for two years.

[Roselma]

19. I think 11 is just fine. My niece got hers at age 10

Make sure you get a plan with unlimited texting. My in-laws have used threats of revocation or suspension of the phone when my niece misbehaves, fails to to chores, etc. They say it is way better than threatening television privileges, and even better than threatening computer privileges. Also, my niece has strict instructions to not use the phone during class. Her school was confiscating and holding student phones for 30 days for those caught texting during class.

[sally cat]

20. Our Christian fundie neighbors won't let their 11 year old have a cell phone. What's the harm?

[uncommon]

33. What's the legitimate benefit?

[sally cat]

51. Must there be one? I asked what's the harm?

[uncommon]

62. Okay - being distracted in class, for one. Another unnecessary bill, there's two.

Bullying, which is easier and easier the more electronic access our kids have to each other, there's three.

The risk of an expensive electronic device being stolen from the child, which would not happen if they didn't bring it to school (and which was always the rule when I was in school not so long ago), there's four.

I could go on, but I'll stick with brevity. There are potential harms.

[Goblinmonger]

76. Those are pretty easily addressed

1. They shouldn't have it in class. When people passed notes in my day, the teacher didn't ban paper and pencil.
2. It costs me $10 to add them to my family plan. That's nothing in a month.
3. Bullying is going to happen. It needs to be addressed. People can be blocked on cell phones though.
4. Make them keep it on them, in their locker, or don't bring it to school if you are worried. Or take out a cheap insurance policy.

[uncommon]

105. What's the point of having this super important phone if you can't take it with you to school?

That just solidifies my point, which is that a cell phone is primarily a toy for a kid this young.

[Goblinmonger]

107. I would argue that they should take it to school.

I would argue that teachers need to find ways to include cell phones into the classroom. My point was that if you are worried about it being stolen, then don't let them bring it to school. My son brings his phone. Keeps it off until it is allowed by the school for him to check it. He knows that if he gets it taken because he was using it inappropriately then he is in big trouble with us.

[stopbush]

123. You and I are having this conversation with people who don't have kids,

let alone kids that have cell phones.

It's amazing how freely they pontificate on the "evils" of cell phones when the "solutions" to these evils are simplicity itself, especially as you've outlined in your post #

[seabeyond]

131. i have two teenage boys and poster he was talking to has at least one child. tell us all you know

wtf is with you people that decide you know about anonymous posters.

you want your kids to have cells, get em cells. no one is telling you not to get cells. but there are lots of assumptions made about parents that dont get kids cells.

just $20. a month (for 2 kids). that is nothing. well, in my house, an unnecessary 20 dollar a month is something. i teach kids responsibility with money. and not needing a phone, we are not going to spend 20 a month. that is another reason i dont get kids cell. when they can pay, they can buy. that is how we do it in my house. and handling money in that manner has taught boys to be responsible with their money. what i feel as a parental job. i also dont buy 150 tennis shoes and 100 jeans just so kids have what all the other kids have and they "fit" in. another thing we do in this house. we dont make our decisions with what everyone else does. another lesson that i think will be valuable to my kids as they get older.

i have other reasons too.

but dont make assumptions kids have to have one. need one for their future. or we dont have kids. wrong on all those.

[PurityOfEssence]

142. Being able to find them. Being able to talk with them. Planning the day.

My spouse and I both work and work at very irregular jobs that generally have very long work days. Our places of work and our work hours are all over the place. Flexibility is key in our lives, and they're learning some responsibility along the way.

[JerseygirlCT]

41. I'm with your neighbors on this

What's the purpose of an 11 yo having that phone?

More enticement to spend their time behind a machine, instead of playing as children should.

[Dappleganger]

100. Because she's only 11.

I don't have an issue with that rule.

[Duke Newcombe]

112. Wow. Any opening will do, I guess.

Obviously, all the non "Sky-fairy" believing parents equip their kids with cell phones fresh out of the womb.

What's with the sweeping generality?

[proteus_lives]

22. I think he's at that age.

It's become a "coming-of-age" thing for kids nowadays.

My 12 year old nephew got one awhile back after begging my sister for one. He made him get all A's for a semester before she agreed.

Do what my sister did. Put him a limited plan and make a responsibility.

The important thing to know is he's going to screw-up or go over at least once. It a good way to teach him about stuff like that. It worked for my nephew.

[eissa]

23. Both of mine received their phones at that age

with unlimited texting, otherwise your bill will be OUTRAGEOUS. Personally, I found it works well for my peace of mind. If my son wants to go out and ride his bike with his friends, or my daughter's practice ends early, I'd like to know that we can reach each other. Plus, as another poster pointed out, it comes in real handy for punishments :evilgrin: Is that a "C" in math?! Chores being ignored?! Fine......no phone for you! I just log into our account and suspend them. Believe me, they shape up real quick :D

[mcar]

95. My reasoning exactly

We got out 13 YO a cell phone when he was 11 for all of the reasons you cited. He's currently without said phone because a few of his grades have dropped. It's a big motivator to stay on the honor roll.

Yes, there's a lot of texting but it is what it is.

[The Straight Story]

24. Get one where you can block numbers/emails/etc with a white list

So that they can only send/receive to people on that list (which the parent can control). Verizon has this (used to work there and our dept handled this).

[JCMach1]

26. The malls are so big here and SAFE compared to US, that we use them

to communicate...

I would say get it if YOU have a need to communicate with your child.

[kick-ass-bob]

28. I think my son was 12, IIRC.

but he was ahead a grade in school - so what's that - 7th grade? That sounds about right.

Of course, my under 10 y.o. daughter wants one now - and she got a "not just no, but heck no" :)

[Myrina]

32. I'd say 14 with a very limited plan. Like pre-pay

...so they can basically use it to keep parents informed of whereabouts, well being, etc., or call friends/family if something unexpected comes up.

All the bells & whistles for shits and giggles? Not until they can - and will - pay the bill.

[seabeyond]

34. i have about four reasons no cell for my kids. it has worked fine. BUT my son is going to be 16

in apr and i have decided this christmas we will buy a cell only, not text, no internet. more and more places dont have phones available for kids, like in the past.

my 13 yr old does not have one. he is the only one in class, maybe one other, but i think that kids moved away that does not have a cell. he is ok with it understands our reasons. kinda proud he is the odd man out.

[nonconformist]

37. Very good point - pay phones are mostly a thing of the past.

It definitely is something to consider when deciding if your kid is ready for a phone. I know when I was a kid, everywhere I went (movies, mall, skating rink) had a bank of pay phones. Even just walking down the street, you would find a pay phone. That's no longer the case.

[Goblinmonger]

36. Get them one as soon as possible.

Perhaps hyperbolic, but it is the means which this generation is connected. Like it; don't like it; it doesn't matter. It is what it is. Either get on board or become irrelevant.

[seabeyond]

38. that kinda is indicative of this generation, so little makes a person "irrelevant"

not that it is true. but boy, people sure are buying it.

sad sad

[Goblinmonger]

45. The workplace is going to be dependent on technology

and the ability to be connected and collaborate. If children don't learn how to do that, they will be at a distinct disadvantage to those competing for the same jobs. That is what becoming irrelevant is in this instance.

We are at the same point right now as the industrial revolution. People can fight against the switch to a technological age all they want, but it's going to come. You can either have your kids be ready for that or not. I'm doing my best to help kids in this regard in my classroom.

[uncommon]

47. It's not like they will be living in Amish country if they don't get a cell phone at age 11.

Jesus H.

[Goblinmonger]

54. No, but they will be behind in the skills employers want.

The kids I have in my classroom now that most quickly grasp the technology to collaborate with others (which is what every study shows will be important) come from a home which has encouraged them to be comfortable with technology, and that takes many different forms not just cell phones admittedly.

Those that don't come from that environment struggle greatly.

So, no, they won't live in "Amish country" but they will be significantly be behind the curve.

[seabeyond]

63. my boys have a tech dad. a son tech oriented. they have plenty of tech time.

and they have actually learned tech stuff (i am obtuse to it all) that is actually relevant

[Goblinmonger]

69. Then that's great.

As to relevancy, I know that is difficult. From all I can tell about coming trends, it isn't that they know "Tech X" but that they have a comfortableness and ability to problem solve that if they are presented with "Tech X" and it is new to them, they can learn it quickly and efficiently. There will always be new tech; it's about how you deal with it.

[seabeyond]

75. one of my more than one problems i have with this is i am watching

more people NOT interacting with the texting stuff, than interacting. nothing i hate more to talk to a kid in my back seat and his head down texting not hearing what i am saying. i talk to my kids a lot. in the car a lot. not gonna have some kid ignore me. so i am on their ass when i talk and they dont listen. wakes them all up.

is it part of today? ya. we dont have to play all the "new" games of today. games i dont see as particularly healthy. i can raise my kids in an environment where it does not become a way of life, while they are impressionable and highly influenced, and when they leave the house, older and more mature, they can handle it in a more aware fashion.

not to mention all the studies coming out talking about this grand experiment we are doing on our kids with no precedent. i rather not experiment with my kids. all the other parents and society can experiment with thier kids.

and that is only one of the issues we address when discussing it in our house. one of the most minor.

[uncommon]

66. Are you serious? It takes an hour to learn how to use a very complex cell phone.

This really doesn't wash, assuming the cell phone-less kid has computer access at home and probably plays video games.

I had very little access to tech as a teen and caught onto it very, very quickly in college. I'm not saying we pretend tech doesn't exist, but imo, an 11 year old child is a child and should be under adult supervision and does not require a personal cell phone.

[Goblinmonger]

71. Maybe.

For all the bitching people do about education (not saying you do or don't), this is something they can control at home. Computer access and video games aren't enough, though. I have kids that can manage Facebook but they don't have the ability to take those skills and apply it to something new. If I have them do a digital project on Scarlet Letter, they don't feel like they can just jump into something and give it a go. It is about the mindset that they take toward the tech.

[uncommon]

106. I don't disagree with that -

I don't think it means 11 year olds need cell phones though.

[seabeyond]

61. giving a kid a text phone is not the same as what you talk about. it is a bunch

of kids putting head down, not looking at the rest of the world to say

hi

hi

how r u

fine u

i g8

[Goblinmonger]

73. I think you are creating a straw man.

Or a red herring.

Do some kids do that? Sure. I have no problem telling my kids that they can't text when we are having family time together (eating, watching tv together, movies, games, just plain talking). I can't text whenever I want, either. But let's not make it seem like two kids that are face to face with each other are going to text each other rather than just talk.

[seabeyond]

77. you can think i am creting a strawman, but a lot of people dont put on those limits

you have your line. others will gripe about your limits. further, they will be sitting next to thier kids texting themselves and not talking and say, ... no big deal.

this is your line. fine.

not mine.

[Goblinmonger]

79. I'm not arguing that you have to change your line.

I am saying that, in my opinion, you need to start early. I think it is wise given what they world is becoming and what they job market is wanting and going to want. If you don't agree, fine. Set whatever lines you want; I'm progressive that way.

[seabeyond]

84. i watched an 11 yr old and 12 yr old have total access to you tube and internet

on their cell phone without parental supervision and restriction.

facebook, just dont put a picture up, was parents advice to kid.

this is the norm. but then, we here, kids might as well learn all this stuff early on.

bullshit.

we work hard create environment for our kids for healthy growth, yet allowed them to interact with whonever on the net. and it absolutely effects how they see people with no controls

[Goblinmonger]

87. My son has access to youtube on his iTouch.

He's a freshmen in high school. He watches R rated movies with the family. We talk about what he is seeing and how he should be processing it.

Kind of odd that you get upset at my (perceived) dictating what you do with your family (which I didn't) and then you call other people's perspective "bullshit." So the "let me do what I want" only applies to you?

[cynatnite]

64. Well, my kid is more tech savvy than me...

I don't think a cell phone at this point in his 11 year old life is going to hold him back. Besides, I'm thinking more of the practicality of him having a cell phone.

[stopbush]

55. I'll ask you - do you have kids "of this generation?"

From your response, I doubt it.

You're making an incredible mountain out the molehill that is a cell phone for today's kids. You may as well argue that there's some moral reason for preferring an abacus over a computer.

[seabeyond]

68. your assumption is wrong. i have two boys 13 and 15.

and to say a kid is not irrelevant if they dont have a cell at a young age is not making a mountain out of molehill, but calling bullshit to a stupid statement.

[Goblinmonger]

74. I think your statement is dead on.

People think too much of a cell phone. It isn't that big of a deal for kids (in the earth-shattering "Everything's going to change" way people on here are talking about).

I go for slide-rule over abacus, but I like your's, too.

[seabeyond]

78. in all your arrogance in lecture what others think, tell me my reason i dont want kids

to have the phone.

lets hear it. you know. you judge. you state what my reasons are.....

because you decide good for your kids, then everyone else fails.

[Goblinmonger]

86. You can do what you want with your kids.

I am trying to give you what I am seeing coming from all the educational experts on what the workplace is going to look like in the near future. If you don't agree or don't like it fine.

The comment I made that you are replying to is that I think people are making too much out of what a cell phone is. We see it through our lens as it being something so new. It isn't that for them. This is something that is part of their culture for about as long as they can remember. For me (us), I can remember the huge bag phone we had in our car back in the early 90s and I remember what it was like before cell phones so it seems bigger. It's like DVDs. Kids today don't even understand the concept of VHS or the concept of 3 TV Channels. Doesn't make our or theirs better. Just different.

[Duke Newcombe]

116. This same reason was touted in the media...

it's why we have teabaggers in Congress and an illegitimate war in Iraq. I don't think that dog hunts as far as reasons to do stuff, thanks.

[Goblinmonger]

129. I have NO idea

how the jump is made from cell phones to teabaggers and Iraq. No idea at all.

[Duke Newcombe]

154. Quoth you: "...Either get on board or become irrelevant."

This is the same "all the cool kids agree" herd mentality that has stampeded us into large mistakes. Forgive the leap, but I'm not much of a "joiner" for joining's sake, or because "they're all doing it" or any such frivolous reason.

The OP should get her offspring a phone if S/HE feels the child needs/deserves it, or S/HE needs them to have it. All other reasons are beyond secondary.

[Skittles]

159. the "everyone does it" so you need to do it too meme

yup

[Goblinmonger]

160. Thanks, that clarifies the statement.

I have said many times on this thread that people should do what they want and what they feel is best for their family.

My statement of becoming irrelevant comes from everything I have read in my professions. I'm a high school teacher. I spend a good deal of time staying current with educational trends as well as job market trends, and the ability to handle tech is a clear skill that is going to be needed for the job market in the very near future. From that standpoint, children need to be able to be technologically adaptive or become irrelevant in that they won't get good jobs. It's not about being cool; it's about having the skills needed for life.

[JonLP24]

39. At any age you feel is appropriate

There are no rules.

[JerseygirlCT]

40. When his or her parents need her or him to have one

and then only for the parents' convenience.

I've been watching neighborhood kids playing outside with their phones. WTH? Outside their own homes, playing with the neighborhood kids in view of their parents and they have this NEED to be tethered?

No.

My oldest got one in HS, when I needed to know where he was. He was only to use it to call me - not for entertainment. I imagine the youngest will be on similar terms.

[gratuitous]

42. He doesn't have one YET?

I'm calling Child Protective Services right this minute!

As for propriety, it depends on the kid's maturity level as someone else said. Would it prove too distracting? Would Junior rack up a lot of charges for texting and ring tones, etc.? Would he understand how much things might cost, and respond proactively by not overusing? You're in the best position to evaluate that, and I've known 11 year olds who could be trusted to handle a cell phone responsibly, but even the most responsible 11 year old would bear close monitoring for at least a while. Are you in a position to do that, or would you be unpleasantly surprised when the monthly bill comes in?

[LoZoccolo]

43. Children seem to be more susceptible to the effects of radiation; you may want to check that out.

I don't have children so I didn't really investigate it too much, but certain health organizations recommend a minimum age for the use of cell phones. I remember seeing some diagram where they basically showed that the field of radiation affects a greater area of a child's brain than an adult due to the smaller size of a child's head, but I'm not sure if this was it.

[pipi_k]

46. I would say whenever the kid can handle it

My 9 year old granddaughter has one, but my son and his wife got rid of their landline and they each have their own cellphone. They both have jobs, and the 9 year old and her 7 year old sister get home from school about an hour before my son does, so I'm glad the girls have the phone.

My daughter wants to get one for her son, who will be 7 next April. He's never home alone and doesn't really spend a lot of time at friends' houses. I don't have an opinion on it except to say that her plan, which is to buy one of those cheapo Tracfones for under 20 bucks and then buy 30 minutes of airtime each month is probably a good idea to start. If he loses the phone or it gets stolen, they're not out a whole lot of money, and everybody has learned a lesson.

Sure do wish they had cellphones when I was a kid, though.

[JackRiddler]

48. Certainly not 11.

[hfojvt]

50. 87

of course, by then he/she's not really a kid any more.

[Atypical Liberal]

52. For my kids

Now my kids are only 2 and 5, so I have a few years to go on this.

But my feeling is that I would want a really cheap-o phone that would only do voice phone calls. No texting, no internet, no email, and no picture taking.

[WCIL]

53. Mine got phones when they started high school

That was the first time they were out for extended periods of time, often with older kids. I also had a friend who was date raped in high school, and I didn't want my daughter wandering around a dark back road searching for a house to call for help.

11 would have been too young for my kids, but the pressure is going to be there. My sister is battling this right now with my 12 year old nephew. Every kid thinks a cell phone is a necessity.

When I did spring for the phones, they got the "giveaway" phone and I added them to my plan for $9.95 per/line per/month. As they got older, we did get the unlimited texting plan too.

[Dappleganger]

104. Sounds similar to what we did.

They all have the cheap phones and if they want to replace them they have to do it on their own dime. The three older teens also have to pay for the unlimited texting family plan (split 3-ways now). Each of ours get one in 8th grade (when they start going out with friends).

[ScreamingMeemie]

59. It depends upon your circumstances, the level of responsibility of the

child (do you really want to hear about how the phone getting lost was an accident, or is he mature enough to not lose it), and your comfort level. For me, I got a phone for my son at 9, after my husband died and the school would not let him call me to make sure I was okay (that was something he had to work through and it was reprehensible of the school). He "lost it" a year ago. I'm not replacing it. :hi: Whatever you decide is best.

[Roon]

65. The right age is

when they ask you for one.

I just think it's great how we are technologically advancing at such a quick pace. If a child feels that he needs a cellphone, I think it would be OK to let him have one. There are far more pros than cons and you can always take it away from him if he abuses it. I doubt you would have to take it away from him.

[HughBeaumont]

80. Got my kid one at 13, with our family plan.

Just a normal-ass LG phone that texts. That's all he needs for now.

[Xithras]

81. I got one for my daughter at 14, and my son at 12.

My 14 year old daughter had been responsible and careful with her phone, has never exceeded her minutes allowance, and doesn't permit it to consumer her (she does about 2500 texts a month...the national average for teen girls is over 8000 a month).

My 12 year old lost his phone three times in nine months (had to get insurance replacements), exceeded his minutes allowance twice in that same time (one time, he apparently played a five hour Halo marathon with a friend while voice-chatting with him via the phone), and texted so much that he ACTUALLY walked into things. I took it away after he lost the third one, and now he only gets to "borrow" it when he's going on trips.

My 14 year old is now almost 17 and has used the phone for years without problems. My 12 year old just turned 14, and we're thinking about letting him try it again now that he's a little older.

12 was too young.

[madmom]

83. Why not? Get him a prepaid (tracfone works fine for me) set a limit to the

amount of "units" you will buy and if he runs out tough. this can teach responsibility as well as anything else.

[pipi_k]

85. yep...I agree totally.

It's a good way to teach them how to budget time and money.

[HughMoran]

88. Sounds about right

It's helpful to be able to have your kids communicate when they need to be picked up from certain activities while you're tending to the other child (or whatever the reason might be.) I'd rather have the piece of mind that they can call when needed than worry that they're freezing or worried somewhere with no phone. One of my kids does text from time to time, but she's fairly discreet about it - it's certainly not an issue. Oh, they've had their phones since about 11 years old.

[ctaylors6]

89. We bought one for our son when he was 11, but no camera

We found that there were a handful of times each month that it was convenient for all of us (for him and me and my husband) for him to have a phone. We bought him a tmobile phone and a card that allows for only about 100 minutes of calling (and a little texting).
We wanted him to have the phone for the following kind of reasons: last minute carpool change after school, to let us know he was staying after school to make up work after he'd been sick, social events that we didn't know exactly what time to pick him up from (he'd call when over), etc.

I think he's used it all of 10 times in the last 6 months. It helps ME for him to have it. There are times when I like to be able to call him or text him a message if my plans change. I also like knowing it's easy for him to contact me when he's out somewhere. There really aren't many pay phones anymore. :)

Since it doesn't have a camera, I don't have to worry about him or any of his friends taking inappropriate pics with it. He also is very responsible about texting and doesn't use it for that unless he's sending an important message to me/dad (he uses his itouch to text since it's free).

[walldude]

90. Is he responsible? I have 3 kids

2 are in high school and one in grade school. In June we switched cell services and when the 2 older kids were getting their phones the youngest (12) was griping and moping. So I broke down and got him a phone, it was only an additional 10 bucks a month so I went for it.

Well, 2 weeks later I asked him how he was liking the phone. He wasn't. He'd lost in within a week. That was it no more phones for him.

It turns out the two older kids actually use the phones, and they have become part of them they use web browsing for school work and they live to text . But the youngest really just wanted the status of having a cell phone and once he got the status he didn't care enough to keep an eye on it.

[GreenPartyVoter]

91. Mine just got their first one to share. They are ages 10 and 12 and are starting to

go away more without us so we felt it would be good for them to have a phone for those times. The rest of the time it pretty much stays in the house charging.

[Obamanaut]

93. One question might be "Does the kid NEED one, or merely WANT

one because 'all the other kids have one'?

That's a question only you can answer.

[boston bean]

94. my son and my nephews got theirs at age 11 nt

[flvegan]

96. Depends on the kid and the family circumstances.

For example, I was a latchkey kid at 9 years old. I also had two paper routes that took me a ways from home every single day. If that were today, I think my mom would want me to have a cell phone, just in case. It would not, I assure you, be one of those superduper Droid or 4G or iPhone things. Just a basic call/text phone.

[Spike89]

97. Definately depends, but they need not be just toys

We've published a very successful book (From Toys to Tools: Using Cellphones in Education) and have a follow up book in production now. Both books are stuffed with tons of education-related things that even a "dumb" phone can be used for. Basically, I'm in the middle regarding whether you "need" to get an 11-year-old a phone, thus the "depends" in the subject line. However, it is a dead certainty that your child's children will have one long before they're 11--but the phone aspect will be a minor feature (as it is already becoming).
Virtually any laptop today can do everything a cell phone can. Every kid will have a device more powerful than today's laptop with them almost everywhere within a decade. The move is toward digital textbooks, cloud computing, and online "blended" classes.
I'd suggest it isn't a matter of harming or helping your kid right now, but the near future is a different thing.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

98. my brother got one at 11 and he is not particularly indulged

however he does go to school and commute by himself. so it was as much a gift for my parents as for him

[Dappleganger]

99. At that age cell phones are for emergencies only

if they don't have access to someone else's phone.

JMHO--we have four kids ages 19, 17, 14 and 13. The older three have phones and the youngest one doesn't because he and his sister go to the same school and are usually together. When she goes to high school next year he'll get one.

[TwilightGardener]

101. Over 10. Kids under 10 definitely don't need their own phones.

My kids got their own when they each turned 12.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

102. This article might help.

http://www.pcworld.com/article/122316/dialed_in_cell_phones_for_kids.html

[Duke Newcombe]

108. The age when you as parents feel it's okay.

Because sometimes, "I'm/we're the parent(s)" IS a legitimate answer. You'll be responsible for the bill, and the activities on the phone. When you're comfortable that he is "ready", and will be responsible, he'll get a phone. The plate tectonics of the earth won't go out of whack if he's "the only one" who doesn't have a cellie (highly doubtful).

[Name removed]

111. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[AnArmyVeteran]

115. "We're gonna need a bigger boat!"

That line from Jaws was the first thing I thought of. But instead of a bigger boat you're gonna need more minutes and an unlimited data package. If not, the phone bill will eat you alive, you know, kind of like a shark would...

[Starbucks Anarchist]

119. 16-18.

Who the hell are these children (not yours) texting and talking to all the time?

[hedgehog]

125. Each of my kids got theirs about a month before leaving for college.

Not having a phone did not cripple them in any way. We're not talking the Jurassic era, either; my youngest is only a sophomore. Of course, she now has 3 computers. She has her desk top, her little notebook, and the big lap top her summer employer gave her so she could continue working for them part time while at college.

[rainbow4321]

126. Unlimited text and well insured

for loss and damage.

It really depends on a kid's habits and maturity, not so much on an "age".

My oldest did wonderful, took care of her cell, kept it all protected.

The youngest, not so much. In her early teens she would have lost her head if it was not attached (and probably argued with me that she really, really still had her head attached).


Stressing NO lending the phone out to friends is a priority. My youngest lent her's to a classmate who promptly got up, walked across the classroom sans phone, and came back to find the phone missing...and it was a major, major problem in trying to convince the girl that she needed to help pay to replace the phone.



Like I said, buy as much insurance on the darn thing as one can possibly get. We also learned pretty quickly that between lost phones and just-plain-malfunctioned phones = lost phone numbers/songs/pics = devasted teenager. So probably having a backup number list for people in their phone address book is a good idea. Otherwise you have to hear them get really upset when they have to re-connect with everyone with a "yeah, so who is this again, I got a new phone and don't have the numbers stored yet" 100 times over.


And specify about internet connection fees..how much per month, etc. Kids don't realize as they are surfing that the meter is running on their cell phone bill. Ditto with all of their one word texts to friends!

[Posteritatis]

127. High school ish feels reasonable to me

Earlier would be a question of how disciplined you think the kid will be about using it.

(I'm being deliberately vague as to whether junior high counts there; see "how disciplined you think the kid will be about using it.")

[bluedigger]

128. The same age they no longer require a babysitter. n/t

[TBF]

130. My 7-yr old wants one -

the 9-yr old next door has one that he texts his mom on (she's a single parent). I'm thinking between 10-12 - I really don't think she needs one now.

[MissB]

132. It's entirely up to you!

If your gut says no, then go with that.

I got our two kids cell phones (with unlimited text and even a camera) at ages 10 and 11. They were going to a temporary school, some 40 minutes away. With afterschool activities and random playdates, I appreciated the "invisible leash".

Dh and I both work, so knowing where they are is key to, well, my sanity at least. I'm more comfy letting them go off and ride their bikes, or walk to a friend's house. Or go off to a classmate's for hours for a project.

It gives them a bit of controlled freedom and me peace of mind.

[SoCalDem]

134. 21...n/t

[Nye Bevan]

135. Three words: *Get* *Unlimited* *Texting*

11 was about when my son and his friends all got cell phones. Almost every parent, myself included, was absolutely *stunned* by the first month's texting bill. Obviously everyone switched to an unlimited plan, but that first month's bill really hurt.

[Phentex]

164. That's what I said...

it's about the texting. Pretty soon this will be so normal nobody will ask when it's appropriate. :)

[rudyb]

136. Your gut is right!

Your son's brain is still developing and it doesn't need the emf one gets from cell phones!

[midnight]

137. I want to tell you not to be to hard on your self... It is clear the peer pressure is

strong. I would stick with the obvious.... He does not really need one....

[shugah]

138. age appropriate is open to debate ... 9 years old worked for me!

i got a cell for my youngest when he was 9. part of the family plan, so he has access to unlimited text. no internet, because that is just too stupid costly. the rules are: i know every phone number on his contacts, he doesn't answer calls from numbers not in his contact list, and goddammit! if he texts mommy, he spells out every freakin' word!

i tend toward the "you can have a cell phone when i need you to have one" philosophy. for my older son, that was 15, for my younger it was 9.

i do not find the "everyone has one!" argument to be true. most of my (now) 10 year old's peers do not have phones.

[Gormy Cuss]

139. As soon as the kid can pay the bill. n/t

[Profprileasn]

140. Since it seems more

of a "everyone else has one" sort of thing rather than an actual need, I'd say no until a need arises. I can't remember how old my daughter was when she got one but it was gotten because sometimes when she went to activities we'd run an errand and didn't want her to be w/o an ability to contact us. 'Course it is just a pay as you go Tracfone. Emergency only sort of thing.

[craigmatic]

141. 16 because they'll be driving and might need help.

[Blasphemer]

143. If he does not need it and it's just because his friends have one, I'd say no

Age is only a secondary factor. Some young children really do need them in order to stay in contact with their parents so limited plans for that purpose makes sense. If he doesn't need it, I would hold off until he is older - driving age seems a reasonable age to me given that he would be more independent and have a meaningful social life.

[RagAss]

144. 49

[Donnachaidh]

146. Mine didn't get one till he was 15

And even then he went nuts with the texting feature. Two years later, he's able to *get* the fact that texting is not like FB or im chat. He uses it minimally now. He does have have a phone now, but he uses it the way it's supposed to be used - for making travel arrangements, or other emergencies.

Cell phones are too much like toys for younger kids. They don't *get* that usage costs money. They shouldn't have them until they are older - IMO.

[Recursion]

147. The line between phone and computer is sort of disappearing

And it will be even blurrier in two years; that affects this question to me.

I'd say whenever a kid is old enough to be out somewhere by himself or herself, that kid is old enough to have a phone.

[seabeyond]

148. Sex, drugs more common in hyper-texting teens

ATLANTA — Teens who text 120 times a day or more — and there seems to be a lot of them — are more likely to have had sex or used alcohol and drugs than kids who don't send as many messages, according to provocative new research.

The study's authors aren't suggesting that "hyper-texting" leads to sex, drinking or drugs, but say it's startling to see an apparent link between excessive messaging and that kind of risky behavior.

The study concludes that a significant number of teens are very susceptible to peer pressure and also have permissive or absent parents, said Dr. Scott Frank, the study's lead author.

"If parents are monitoring their kids' texting and social networking, they're probably monitoring other activities as well," said Frank, an associate professor of epidemiology and biostatistics at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40087630/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/
_______________________________

how about this reasoning, cynatnite. i am telling you, big experiment with youth. i prefer to see at least some results before throwing my kids into it all.

[PeaceNikki]

151. Your kid, your choice. It's a phone, ffs.

[JenniferJuniper]

152. I like my kids being able to reach me

whenever they need to and the other way around. I worry less and it's easier to coordinate schedules, pick-ups, etc.

Yes, the texting can get out of hand and (and yes, you'll want to get an all-inclusive texting plan to avoid the shock of that first bill many of us got) but like anything else, you need to take it away sometimes when it takes a back seat to doing homework or chores.

Sometimes we just have to accept that the world has changed a lot since we were kids and instant communication will be the norm for this generation on forward. In some respects it's better than those days of one phone line and Dad hollering "GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE NOW"!

[PeaceNikki]

153. No need to argue that with me.

I am a firm believer in using whatever tools you can. I am also a technology geek, so I have NO problem with this. In fact, I have no credible arguments against it. :)

[bluetrain]

156. I would want my kid to have a phone as soon as he was of an age to be able to dial.

You can restrict the plan however you like, but I'd want my kid to be able to call me at any time if he needed to. It's just a safety thing, same reasons I encouraged my elderly parents to get cell phones. There aren't many pay phones left and you never know what may happen.

As far as the actual usage goes, definitely go all or nothing with the texting and set up rules around that. You can block it so he can only contact certain numbers and the reverse.

[Skittles]

157. tough one

I'm inclined to say a cell phone with limited usage would be OK. Does he know you can use it to keep track of him? Make sure he knows that. :D

[xor]

161. I don't get this resistance to kids having cell phones...

Even at age 11, I can only see positive results of a kid having a cell. At that age, I'd personally block texting though. That would get rid of the various problems mentioned above (like bullying and "sexting"), and reduce the likelihood of the kid bringing it out during class. The kid could then call if he/she gets lost or has any other trouble.

It seems like most of the negatives are either common issues for anything or are not the main issue.

For example, bullying is its own issue that would need to be addressed directly. Just because someone uses a cellphone to bully someone (via text, I guess), that doesn't mean the solution is to get rid of the cellphones. It's the same reason why we don't prevent kids from wearing undies in order to prevent wedgies.

The other was that they are expensive electronic gadgets that risk being stolen or lost. Well, you can get cheap phones these days that hardly cost anything. Secondly, that could easily be applied to many things, such as an iPod or a football helmet filled with cottage cheese.

[CBR]

162. 5 nt

[rosesaylavee]

163. We had a family phone that our son would borrow when he went out...

And he was one of the last of his group to have a cell phone. We eventually ponied up and gave him one of his own. Texting is more what they are interested in anyway. Set boundaries and expectations and you should be fine. Eleven years old means he's in middle school. Yikes to be a kid in middle school without something that all the kids think is as basic as water is putting a lot of pressure on him. I am on the other side of all that.

My guy is 20 now but the middle school years were gruesome. Do what you can for the kid if you can afford a basic cell with unlimited texting, he should be fine with that.