Man seeks Obama, Jesus restraining orders

[Zephie]

GAINESVILLE, Fla., Nov. 10 (UPI) -- A Florida court refused a man's request for restraining orders against President Barack Obama, former Gators quarterback Tim Tebow and Jesus Christ.

John Gilliand filed papers in Alachua County court last week claiming he felt threatened by the three famous figures and he made reference in the filings to the men being gang members or making gang symbols in his direction, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Tuesday.

"I was trespassed from the Kangaroo Gas Station on University for saying T-Bo sucks," Gilliand wrote in his petition for an injunction for protection against Tebow. "I personally hate any type of exercise although I feel Billy Blanks has a wonderful video."

The petitions were rejected the same day they were filed but Gilliand filed a supplemental affidavit, this time naming only Obama and Tebow, asking the court to reconsider his requests.

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2010/11/10/Man-seeks-Obama-Jesus-restraining-orders/UPI-71651289413336/

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...Lol?

[originalpckelly]

1. Who would Jesus stalk?

:spank:

[Zephie]

3. WWJTGSA: Who would Jesus throw gang symbols at?

That seems too wordy, in retrospect.

[originalpckelly]

6. I can see the gang sign now.

Just make a cross with your two index fingers, and you have Jesus' gang sign.

[Zephie]

10. I wish I could photoshop

:rofl:

[treestar]

2. Wait till he finds out about the missile

[leftstreet]

4. ...

:spray:

[originalpckelly]

5. Oh no, don't tell him about the missile!

:tinfoilhat:

[gratuitous]

7. I wonder what his Free Republic handle is?

Although Billy Blanks does indeed have a wonderful video.

[MrScorpio]

8. I don't know if this question has been answered satisfactorily before...

But what is actually in the water in Florida?

That has to be it.

[Zephie]

11. I've wondered that myself. I stopped drinking it awhile ago.

Mostly because the water quality in my county is HORRIBLE, but also because I don't want to catch the crazy (and republican) around here.

[Dyler Turden]

9. I hate to laugh at someone with problems like this but

"I personally hate any type of exercise although I feel Billy Blanks has a wonderful video."

Kinda makes me want to at least chuckle.

Is this from The Onion?

[Zephie]

12. Nope, the link is from UPI, but the article was originally from the Orlando Sentinel

[rocktivity]

13. "FORMER Gators quarterback Tim Tebow..."

That's hysterical--no mention of the pro league team he's on! My, how the mightly have fallen...

P.S. I hope the judge recommended a psychological evaluation.

:rofl:
rocktivity

[MerryBlooms]

14. I wonder what office he'll be running for in the next election.

Seems as reasonable choice as most the right's candidates this cycle.

[demigoddess]

18. vice president. what else?

[TwilightGardener]

15. Well, one of those three is generally invisible, so enforcement might be a problem.

I'm sure Barack Obama and Tim Tebow will be in total compliance, however.

[awoke_in_2003]

21. Unless Jesus...

gives them the power to become invisible- then this guy is FUCKED :)

[Old Troop]

16. If Jesus is out throwing around gang symbols, does it mean we got His message wrong?

[joeybee12]

17. This is crazy...except for the Timmeh Teblow part...

we should have a restraining order against him.

[Initech]

19. If I were that judge I wouldve been too busy laughing.

[cynatnite]

20. Jesus stalks...who knew? n/t