What SHOULD G. W. Bush have named his memoirs?

[bondwooley]

From an outside poll:

Maybe in a few years, if we find a copy of Bush's memoirs on top of a trash heap, we might pick it up and thumb through it for a laugh. But we're not going to buy a book called "Decision Points" written by a man who has never shown any understanding of the consequences of his decisions.

So what title would convince you buy this waste of paper?

Don't Think and Grow Rich?

Moby Prick?

Adventures of Pinocchio?

DU is a creative crowd - let's see what titles you've got up your sleeves.

Original poll at: http://www.pledge-drive.com/lesterandcharliesurvey.html

[Andy823]

1. I kind of like

Ha Ha, I Fooled You More Than Once!

[elehhhhna]

2. "Horseshit", duh.

[SpiralHawk]

3. Tortured Logic: The Real Republicon Family Values

[malaise]

4. It's simple

Pure undiluted Bushit!

[bondwooley]

27. "Bushit" - great term! You make that up or have I been under a rock? n't

[malaise]

30. I'm sure I've seen that on DU sometime over the past

six years :D

[bondwooley]

31. Great term, wherever it comes from! n/t

[PSzymeczek]

105. It's been floating around

for several years.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

5. I think it should be

My Shit Smells Like Flowers
(and a few more unbelievable things I think about myself)

[nyrnyr1994]

6. I can't take credit for this one...but it made me chuckle

Bush Publishes ‘I Can Has Prezidensy’
Advance Look at Former President’s Memoir

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2010/11/08/bush-publishes-i-can-has-prezidensy/

[bondwooley]

32. Can't take credit for this either, but it's funny:

"I F*ucked You All, But Thanks for Blaming the Black Guy."

[Stinky The Clown]

7. "I should have pulled out"

I refer to Iraq I, of course. :)

[3waygeek]

11. That'd be a better title for Poppy's memoir. n/t

[Stinky The Clown]

23. Slap me in the head.

I misread the title and thought it was about Poppy.

Ooooops. :blush:

[scrubthedata]

54. I dunno. Somehow that makes me thing of W's twins and makes me laugh. n/t

[napi21]

8. Lies, More Lies, and Completely Made Up1 nt

[Arugula Latte]

9. Dumb Shit from Dumbass

[the redcoat]

10. "If I did it"

[pacalo]

19. I like that.

:thumbsup:

[bondwooley]

36. HA! n/t

[Swede]

12. Vanishing Points.

[bondwooley]

13. I'm partial to "Chicken Soup for the Sole" n/t

[hughee99]

14. "Big Time: Confessions of a Major League Asshole" n/t

[tnlefty]

15. 'If Only Someone Would Decide to Treat Me the Way I Treated Them'...

That should cover his faux christian stances, his lying to get his war on, his approving torture, and the lack of action by Dimson**'s own admission that he approved waterboarding and Holder not acting upon it.

His parents raised a monster. They should be so very, very proud. Cheers to them for the POS, they raised.

[bondwooley]

40. Amen. And what about the mother showing the miscarriage in a jar? That might explain everything. n/

[madinmaryland]

16. "I won. Fuck you, America"

[scrubthedata]

46. That's his history in a sentence. Though "win" is from his point of view! n/t

[brewens]

17. Life below The Label: A Drinking Man's Guide To Being President

We call being totally shitfaced "below the label".

[scrubthedata]

48. For you:

[scrubthedata]

49. Hmm. That picture didn't work! How the heck do you post a picture properly here?

[brewens]

63. Jeff and I: A Lovers Tale n/t

[pacalo]

18. Nonconfessions: Rewriting History of the First Cabal Placed in the White House.

[alsame]

20. Prezidentin' for Dummies.

[bondwooley]

26. LOL!!!! n/t

[PA Democrat]

21. Lord of the Flies

War and Peace- but mostly war

[Motown_Johnny]

22. Perfect Crimes (the ones you can talk about afterward)

[pgodbold]

24. Tiny Wankers Big Adventure.

[madamesilverspurs]

25. Charmin

[WhiteTara]

28. Fooled You Twice. n/t

[bondwooley]

47. The quote:

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — — shame on you. Fool me — — You can't get fooled again.

[WhiteTara]

71. looks like he didn't know what he was talking about

(surprise, surprise) cause he fooled the nation twice.

[OutNow]

29. Pants on Fire

Pants on Fire: The Truthinessless of my time as pResident

[orion007]

33. The Life and Times of A Dry Drunk, Bush Lite n/t

[Angry Dragon]

34. WHAM!! BAM!! THANK YOU!!

Was it Good for You??

[marmar]

35. The Dry Drunk Diaries

[hulka38]

37. The Shit I Got Away With

[theophilus]

38. The Final Nail n/t

[SalmonChantedEvening]

39. A Tale of Too Stupid.

Endless Dumber.

Dark Side of the Moran.

Lies and Dulls.

Junior Missed.

[Octafish]

41. TRAITOR!

"The Life and Times of George Walker Bush."

[scrubthedata]

42. How I Survived a Homocidal Pretzel and Saved the World from Freedom

[bondwooley]

43. Homocidal pretzel? n/t

[11 Bravo]

44. Shit my Dad SHOULD have said, but by God, I'm a better man, so I said it instead!

(Now, please, Mommy, will you love me?)

[scrubthedata]

53. She only loves the kid she keeps in the jar. n/t

[scrubthedata]

45. King Fear n/t

[HuckleB]

50. "What?"

which equates to "I do not recall."

[PSzymeczek]

106. More like

"Whut?"

[davekriss]

51. My Pet Goat ....... (nt)

[Gormy Cuss]

52. Drunk and Disorderly n/t

[scrubthedata]

57. Or: Clean, Sober, Sh*thead. n/t

[Binka]

55. W A Weapon of Mass Destruction n/t

[cutlassmama]

56. Tales of a stupid and drunk pet goat

[jberryhill]

58. A Tale Of Too Shitty / Bleak White House / War And More War / Pride and Prejudice

Nonsense and Insensibility

Incurious George

Crime and No Punishment

[Jamastiene]

59. Confessions of a Mass Murdering Fuckhead n/t

[ProgressiveEconomist]

60. Bein' The Decider is HARD Work

[lpbk2713]

61. "Anyone Can Be President"

And he proved the point beyond any doubt.

[bondwooley]

73. About the only point that he ever really proved. n/t

[nolabear]

62. Old Yeller.

[jberryhill]

65. Yeah, but without the same happy ending

[scrubthedata]

70. ;) n/t

[Cresent City Kid]

64. A Troblematic Disatrophe

War and Piece (of the profits)

The Audacity of Dope

A Bombing of Two Cities

Runnin' a Country for Dummies
Oops, sorry, that's the book he read.

[bondwooley]

82. Those are great title! n/t

[tom_paine]

66. Satan's Little Helper n/t

[bondwooley]

80. Satan's or Cheney's??? n/t

[Faux pas]

67. I Totally F-ed Up America, Iraq and The Economy....

But The Really Sad Thing Is Kanye West Thinks I'm Racist

[bondwooley]

75. Amazing that Kanye wasn't waterboarded. n/t

[B Calm]

68. Chuckle Nuts undertaking to destroy America

[deacon]

69. "I'm Guilty: Volume I" n/t

[bondwooley]

122. Or even "Woops! Vol. I" n/t

[Urban Prairie]

72. Cheney's Chimpleton (illustrated)

[bondwooley]

79. With the same illustrator as Curious George? n/t

[Festivito]

74. Don't Misundertorturate Me. /nt

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

76. "My Pet Gloat"

[Evasporque]

Whistle-ass Happy Time...nt

[Evasporque]

77. Whistle-ass Happy Time...nt

[Morning Dew]

78. Mission Accomplished! How I destroyed America in 8 short years.

[bondwooley]

86. I don't think it took him all 8! n/t

[karynnj]

81. How I almost destroyed the entire world without even really trying

[Jakes Progress]

83. "Stupid is as Stupid Does"

[mvd]

84. Worst pResident Ever

by G.W. Bush

[bondwooley]

93. aGreed; n//t ...

[Catshrink]

85. Reflections of My Pet Goat

[laylah]

87. I'm Guilty...Prosecute Me! nt

[LLStarks]

88. "Decision Points" was quite appropriate given how juvenile his mind is. nt

[JVS]

89. Defense's Testimony to Hague War Criminal Court

[scrubthedata]

113. I just got this! LOL!

[Bravo Zulu]

90. deception points

[bondwooley]

99. That's a good one!!!! n/t

[proud patriot]

91. "Clearing the Brush President"

[deacon]

92. Diary of a Mad Louselife. n/t

[proteus_lives]

94. "Wait, what?"

[JoePhilly]

95. "Shock and Ouch!: How Reaganomics Bushwhacked America"

[Tom_Foolery]

96. "What, me worry?"

[WCGreen]

97. Lies My Father, I Mean Dickie, Told Me...

[sendero]

98. "catapulting the bullshit"

.... so the stupid among us can have one more rah rah moment.

[denem]

100. Schlock and Gall.

[denem]

101. Fool you twice.

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

102. Pretzels, Pickles and Dick

[bondwooley]

108. LOL! n/t

[WillyT]

103. 'Twit Happens'

:shrug:

:evilgrin:

[Segami]

104. " Pants To The Ground, Looking Like A FOOL "

[City Lights]

107. "Incurious George Goes to the White House"

Or, "My Pet Presidency." Or, "Skid marks on the Constitution."

On edit: "Dubya Does D.C."

[Skittles]

109. DIPSHIT

[scrubthedata]

110. How I Caused Republicans to Lose the Next 10 Presidential Elections n/t

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

111. "Delusion Points"

[Cetacea]

112. How We Eliminated the Kennedys

(Or, how to grow a political dynasty)

[grahamhgreen]

114. "Letters from Prison"

[BlueIris]

115. Using Korsakoff's Syndrome for Fun and Profit.

Or: Stuff I Should Have Been Doing Instead of Fucking Jeff Gannon.

[GoCubsGo]

116. "Being There"

The movie version was already made.

[BlueIris]

117. WIN.

Epic win, in fact.

[scrubthedata]

119. Genius. n/t

[bondwooley]

123. Yep, that might be the definitive title! n/t

[Barack_America]

118. "Obvious Bullshit--Reflections of a Narcissistic War Criminal"

[scrubthedata]

120. Dick and Bush's Big Adventure nt

[ejpoeta]

121. How I committed war crimes, lied to the american people and handed the treasury over to the banks

and got away with it.

[woo me with science]

124. Something from his own words:

Make the Pie Higher

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

Source: Richard Thompson

[bondwooley]

125. LOL! Thanks for sharing! n/t