Hilarious New Conservapedia Entry: Mystery: Why Do Non-Conservatives Exist?

[The Night Owl]

From Conservapedia...

Mystery:Why Do Non-Conservatives Exist?

Conservative principles are based on reason. So why do non-conservatives still exist? Here are some reasons:

Contents
1 Statistical Analysis
2 What Triggers Reconsideration of Liberal Beliefs?
3 Cultural indoctrination
4 Liberal characteristics
5 References

Statistical Analysis
(Estimates)

20%: did not hear about conservative principles until after they made up their mind and, perhaps due to pervasive societal bias, refuse to reconsider

10%: genuinely lack of desire to find the truth, and instead desire attention, praise by liberal teachers, getting along by going along, and not standing up to liberal bullies

10%: refuse to forgive themselves and let go of their past mistakes and image

10%: believe myths created around government programs like the "New Deal" that liberal policies create jobs instead of destroying them and depriving people of liberty through government control.

10%: fooled by the demonizing of conservatives and mistakenly feel that conservative benefits are available only to those who are from an intact family or privileged background

10%: refuse to rise above their personal temptations, often self-destructive, and hate conservatives who criticize their self-indulgent behavior

10%: feel that they deserve to make more money than they do, as in public school teachers and university professors, and refuse to rise above self-interest

10%: harbor a grudge against a conservative, typically a parent but sometimes an ex-spouse, and refuse to forgive or rise above the animosity

5%: like an anarchist, genuinely want to believe in and propagate destructive ideas

5%: are susceptible to marketing and suggestion to an overlarge degree.

What Triggers Reconsideration of Liberal Beliefs?

What triggers reconsideration of liberal beliefs? Here are some estimates:

25%: raising or teaching children, and realizing how destructive liberal values are to many of them

15%: a religious conversion followed by taking the Bible to heart

10%: a loss of a loved one that resulted from accepting or promoting liberal values, as in losing a loved one to crime caused by pornography, drug addiction, gambling, etc.

10%: a new friendship with someone who is conservative, and realizing how much good flows from the conservative values<1>

10%: simply by maturing and seeing liberalism's impact around them, and realizing what they were taught as youth was wrong

5%: a desire to learn the truth, and a dislike for those who mislead

5%: a genuine divine experience that can not be explained.

5%: using conservative values to overcome an addiction, and then realizing the benefits of conservative values in many other ways

5%: taking a truthful course in economics, or learning it in the workforce<2>

...

http://www.conservapedia.com/Mystery:Why_Do_Non-Conservatives_Exist%3F

The "talk page" is also hilarious, so make sure to check it out.

:rofl:

[Angry Dragon]

1. They are in a rubber room looking for their marbles

[JVS]

2. "5%: a genuine divine experience that can not be explained."

Let me see if I have this straight.

Ca. 35 AD
God: Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?
Saul: Who are you, Lord
God: am Jesus, whom you are persecuting, now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.


2010 AD
God: Quit being such a liberal commie pinko!
Liberal: Huh? Wha? Oh, ok, you're the boss, Lord.
God: Don't forget the flag magnets, lapel pins, and bumperstickers. You'd also better go to the next teabagger rally or I will smite you.

[Old and In the Way]

3. Too funny.

Conservative 'Statistical Analysis' = pulling opinions out of their ass.

[Crunchy Frog]

4. Aren't about half of the entries written by liberal "trolls" to make them look ridiculous

and they can't tell the difference?