Have the plans for this years' WAR ON CHRISTMAS been worked up yet?

[Cheap_Trick]

Colonel Lingus, 10th Brigade "Santa's Slayers" reporting for duty.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

1. Chance of not hearing about it= 0

[Jackpine Radical]

2. Oh, drat. I knew I was forgetting something.

I always like to pour a little dog pee on the creches out on public property as a sort of "primer" and then let nature take its course.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. I like to steal the Baby Jesus dolls

and replace them with Homer Simpson or Spongebob Squarepants.

[Jackpine Radical]

7. Or the little Teletubby with the triangle.

[CTyankee]

4. I think it's going to be more fierce this year. The wingnuts are emboldened and

will attack progressives on every front.

[Bragi]

5. It's a midterm election year...

I understand that, in order to keep GOP campaigners focused, the war on Christmas gets delayed until after Thanksgiving during years in which there are midterm elections.

For my part, I'm getting ready by standing in front of the mirror and saying with a smile: "Season's Greetings!" followed by "and can you tell me which section of this store sells Burkas?"

- B

[HopeHoops]

6. No problem. I already had Santa aprehended and sent to Gitmo. We win.

[madrchsod]

8. i put up my outside christmas lights in july..does that count?

[librechik]

9. sorry haven't had any time to not do my shopping.

maybe next week I won't go to WalMart some more.

[jmowreader]

10. Rotten Johnny is ready for it

He wanted to write a letter to Santa so asked his mom for paper and pencil.

"Johnny, you've been so bad this year Santa doesn't want to hear from you. You should write to the Baby Jesus."

He sat at the kitchen table and wrote "Dear Baby Jesus, I want lots of wonderful presents for Christmas and I promise to be good all year."

No. Into the wastebasket.

He then wrote "I promise to be good all month."

Eventually he was down to promising to be good for fifteen minutes...which he could do, but he knew it didn't sound so good. So he went to the living room and removed the Madonna from the nativity scene on the console TV. He wrapped her in tissue, then put her in a box filled with crumpled newspaper, and finally put the box at the bottom of his closet.

Then he wrote, "Dear Baby Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again..."

[kentauros]

11. Well, Shiner, Texas' Spoetzl Brewery

(the makers of Shiner Beer) is on the ball with their "Holiday Cheer" ale :D

[DavidDvorkin]

12. I hope this year's plans

somehow involve that humongous Jesus statue in Poland.