It's always sad to lose a friend, but I cannot fathom how this happened. . .

[daligirl519]

My friend of 15 years, (We lived together for 8 of those years.), just threw me under the bus for his very conservative and idiotic friends. I am so hurt. I thought I was a much better judge of this type of thing. He apparently has some very deep self-hatred that I never really recognized. He is Asian; I am black. I am so flabbergasted - I don't even know what to think. He has friends now who think that he needs to get away from me because of "how it looks."

[Arctic Dave]

1. People change, sometimes not for the better.

Don't sweat it, tomorrow is another day, you can make a new friend.

[daligirl519]

3. Thanks

It just feels really weird.

[The Wielding Truth]

2. "how it looks"? Do you mean for your race or for your politics?

[daligirl519]

6. I think it is both. . .

He has a new job - I went out with him and a couple of people he has made friends with. They had lots to say about people who did not make as much money as they do - and every time I said something, they looked at me like I had 2 heads. My ex-friend says that I do not fit in. He did, however, say that we could still have lunch and stuff, and that he is "well-liked by his boss and peers."

[The Wielding Truth]

19. Does he have the depth of character to change? If not there are over

300 million people in the US. You really can find another person that is worth your investment.There are many guys who care more about being a real person than he does. Let him see you with people who are deserving of your time.Cold shoulder him abit and he might feel how you felt. If he doesn't show improvement then it's his loss. You can make this one of the best and most fun times. You are worth it.

[hatrack]

21. Sounds like he has no depth whatsoever; no character or integrity, for that matter . . .

:puke:

[Systematic Chaos]

4. I'm saddened to hear that.

My condolences to you, and the hope that this guy will come around once he realizes who his true friends were.

[daligirl519]

7. It was all very strange.

I smell his parents in this, somehow - but life goes on. I need to get over it.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. I am so sorry, my dear daligirl519...

It is always extremely painful to lose the precious friendship of someone we thought we knew...

You might consider getting some professional help for the immediate loss...

It will help you get some perspective on what happened, and why it happened, and where to go now...

:hug:

[Skittles]

8. she's not the one who needs professional help

no INDEED

[WillParkinson]

9. One day he will come to his senses...

When his 'friends' throw him under the bus, too. By then, though, he will be left wondering what if he had been a man and stood up to them.

[Warpy]

10. I'm sorry that happened to you

but it's the kind of thing that's happened to all of us at one point or another, some guy getting pressured through that male bonding thing to give up the best friends they've ever had (us) because the buddies felt threatened somehow.

You will survive and you'll probably do it better than he will. You didn't deserve this and he knows it and if he's not a psychopath, his conscience will hurt him over it the rest of his life. Plus, he's lost a friend and all he has to show for it is a bunch of jerks who probably think he's kind of a wimp for caving to them.

The best revenge will be your life, well lived.

[Amonester]

11. Real friends don't act like a-holes.

Looks to me that for 15 years, you thought he was your friend.

In reality, he was not (personally, I would never want to have any "friends" like that a-hole: who would?).

Sorry if it's a bit harsh, but it's the truth. You deserve a lot better.

[daligirl519]

12. Thanks, all.

Kitties and I will go to bed now. I feel better for your comments.

[gardenista]

13. washing some tire tracks off my back, too

I feel for you, but you are better off with a weak person out of your life.

[gateley]

14. I literally gasped at

He has friends now who think that he needs to get away from me because of "how it looks." That leaves me speechless.

I'm so sorry this happened. :hug:

WE won't throw you away! :grouphug:

[FunkyLeprechaun]

15. Same here

I had a friend who I had just reconnected through Facebook (we had a lot in common). I've known her for 16 years. Enjoyed chatting about sports and all. She then posted a picture of her toilet with a urinary target (bullseye) picture of Obama on her Facebook. I had a huge argument with her and her friends, who were her army friends, about it (I said it could be construed as a threat to the president and since she was an enlisted soldier, it wasn't a good idea to post that sort of thing on Facebook). Now she refuses to talk to me and blocked me from her Facebook.

It's her loss but I don't really understand how she became so right wing. She was in the Army and served in Iraq and Afghanistan. She also said very racist things as well, which surprised me because we had Muslim friends in our circle of friends in High School who she got along with very well (we went bowling, birthday parties etc).

It was surreal to see someone you know change their views so much. She's always known I was a liberal and appreciated my views and she was quite centrist in high school and to see her now telling me I hated the troops because of my views was a bit surreal.

Friends come and go but it's always sad to see really good friends turn like that sometimes.

[Lilyeye]

16. I feel your pain.

I lost a friend who turned his back on me for his disgusting "friends." I think he will soon realize what a mistake he made when he is thrown under the bus by them. Take care of yourself sweetie.

[Raine]

17. I had a friend who did that to me

and others (who I thought would've sided with me) joined in too. It happened 7 years ago and it still bothers me. It's hard to get over betrayal like that. :hug:

[Nay]

18. Ah, Dali, that is sad. To be tossed aside when he makes some

rich friends. I know you're hurting and rightfully so, but this fellow has just displayed a distinct lack of character. If his new 'friends' decide in the future that he's not good enough for them, he may figure out that what he has done to you is wrong. But I wouldn't bet the rent money. So sorry, sweetie!

[dembotoz]

20. think this sort of thing will be more common

The us vs them thing is getting worse not better.

i have lost some friends....all their fault???
no

they are less tolerant of me and i of them.

[AndrewP]

22. Good point. Same here.

A lot of the right wing stuff I would tolerate in 2000 I won't anymore. At least Im not going to be willingly putting up with it. So it goes.

[AmandaMae]

23. sorry to hear that. Sounds like a friend you're better off without, though. n/t