OMFG What will the terrorists think of next?!!

[pauldp]

Authorities heard that terrorists might try to smuggle explosives in prosthetic devices so a severe response was needed of course. And there are plenty more ideas like that lurking in the minds of the sociopath terrorists. Since after all it is the Transportation Security Administration, it's only prudent to address similar threats to other modes of transportation. We have to think 2 steps ahead of the terrorists in this game.

Someone could smuggle some C4 in their rectum on the subway, so the TSA should implement full cavity searches at random throughout the NYC subway system so that people can feel safe riding the trains.

A truck bomb on a bridge could kill thousands - potentially more than a plane bomb - in fact 2 or 3 people with plastic explosives in their rectum could take out a bridge. It's only right that the TSA do random cavity searches at all major bridges across the country.

It's only a matter of time before someone figures out how to turn a combination of consumable beverages into a lethal explosive. The rectal exam will no longer suffice. It will be in their blood, waiting to explode. Those under suspicion of imbibing this new deadly concoction will need to be culled from the herd and held for observation for days if not weeks.

Yes you are 20 times more likely to be hit by lightning than to be killed in a terrorist attack, but we have to protect our "freedoms" with severity and vigilance. Schools, sporting events, amusement parks - any place where people congregate must be kept safe. After all do you want the terrorists to win?

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

1. I think they've just about scored a death by ridicule.

A couple million $(9-11) has turned into trillions $(response).

It's pathetic.

[intheflow]

2. Soon every home will have porno scanners installed in every front and back door.

Citizens will be required to buy these themselves as a way to recovery the economy. Think of how many people that would employ, monitoring every household for anyone leaving with anything that might possible be explosive. Failure to comply will result in a fine larger than your yearly income and/or prison, depending on the whim of local law enforcement and the color of your skin.

Of course the upside of this hyper-vigilance will be good for the environment. After all, gasoline sales will be prohibited since it's highly inflammable and the cars it goes into can become suicide bomber machines. Wow, what a safe utopian world that will be, huh?

/sarcasm

[pauldp]

3. Safety, safety, uber alles!

:patriot:

[Kablooie]

4. Oh my god! 20 times!? What is the government going to do to protect us from lightning?!!!!