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Another look into the world of conservative doublethink.
Thanks again for the warm reaction to the first installment of what might look to be a semi-regular series. I don't have as many as last time, but I compiled that list over the course of a couple of years (off and on, of course) while this one came over the course of a couple weeks. I figure from now on, when I get about ten or so, I'll post them.
This list also features a contribution from a poster in the Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today (No.1) thread.
(Permission granted to distribute this list, by the way.)
I take no responsiblity for the dirty looks you get if you use any of these to shut up your Teabagger brother-in-law at Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, though. :)
Thinks You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:
* When the Democrats win an election, the proper role of the minority Republican party is to block and obstruct everything the majority tries to do as much as possible. When the Republicans win an election, the proper role of the minority Democratic party is to roll over, accept "the will of the people", and let the majority party do whatever it wants.
* Nothing that happened before January 20, 2009 is of any relevance to today's economy.
* "Voter Fraud" is what occurs any time a minority or a poor person actually votes.
* You want the government to keep its hands off your Medicare.
* All criticisms of Hillary Clinton, Madelyne Albright, and Barbara Boxer are based on legitimate disagreement with their policies. All criticisms of Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell, and Sharon Angle are based on sexism because, after all, they're jealous that your conservative women are much prettier than those liberal cows.
* Quitting less than halfway through your first term as governor of one of the least populated states of the union proves you are qualified to the President of the United States.
* There is a massive difference between Christian Fundamentalists who don't believe in legal abortion, equality of women, the seperation of church and state, or gay rights, but do believe in forcing everyone to follow their religion with threats of violence; and Muslim Fundamentalists who don't believe in legal abortion, equality of women, the seperation of church and state, or gay rights, but do believe in forcing everyone to follow their religion with threats of violence.
* You think Joe Barton should also apologize to Bernie Madoff.
* Scooter Libby is a hero. Valerie Plame is a traitor.
* You ran for Congress campaigning against "Obamacare", but are horrified to discover that your Congressional health care doesn't kick in until a month after you're sworn in.
* Tax cuts for the richest of the rich are always the solution to an economic problem.
* Being opposed to the establishment of religion is the same thing as supporting Sharia law.
* You railed against liberals as supporters of earmarks even as you took lots of them for your own constituents; when many anti-earmark Republicans were elected, and it became possible that earmarks would be banned, you put the blame for originating anti-earmark rhetoric on liberals.
* You can say you oppose unemployment benefits for the poor and middle class but support tax cuts for the rich at practically the same time, with a straight face.
* When it snows in February, it proves that climate change is a hoax. When there's weeks of sixty degree temperatures in November in the Mid West, it doesn't prove anything about climate change.
Contributed:
* If you're an unwed teen mother, you're an irresponsible slut and a social deviant. However, if you're an unwed mother and your own mother is a Republican Vice Presidential candidate, you're an inspiring example and deserve support, sympathy, and loud cheers as you appear on Dancing With The Stars. (from screwfacecapone)
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