please say "thank you" to the people at the drive-thru

[Syrinx]

Not just to the drive-thru people, but people in general.

I've recently noticed how rude people tend to be to each other.

I went riding with a friend of mine. I guess he's kind of a "good ole boy" in some respects, but he is college-educated and I would guess he makes about 60k a year. He's not rich, but he's doing okay as a single guy. And he mostly agrees with me on issues and politics.

And I was appalled at the way he treated people who were doing their jobs, serving him.

He was very brusk with the girl at the drive-thru, explaining the exact ratio he wanted of Coke and ice. And even though she got it exactly right, he didn't even say "thank you." I just don't understand that kind of behavior.

Some might place that blame on some Southern obsession with manners, except that my friend is just as much an Alabama guy as me.

The country is in a mean and ill-tempered mood.

Saying "please" and "thank you" won't solve all our problems. But it couldn't hurt.

[Roon]

1. I am always pleasant to the people at the drive-thru

otherwise they will spit in your food!

[Syrinx]

2. an excellant point!

And people forget this.

[alphafemale]

6. Yeah. Being kind to the people who handle your food/drinks unseen is just good sense

I mean even taking common human decency off the table...

:hi:

[freebrew]

48. Excellent point.

My brother used to tell me(he was in the submarine service) that everyone is nice to the cook.
A pissed off cook is bad for all.

[eShirl]

3. Yes, and others, too, such as cashiers, wait staff, package delivery people,etc

I try to make a point to look directly at the person and thank them. It is my way of acknowledging a fellow human being.

[Syrinx]

4. exactly

thank you. :)

[femrap]

69. Did you tell your friend

to 'shape up?'

[pipi_k]

20. And how many people say "thank you"

to a person whose job it is to hold a door open?

I had to go to a wake last night, and noticed that many people don't even acknowledge the guy at the funeral home who opens the door for them.

I always say "thank you" to people who do stuff for me.

Especially, like someone else pointed out, people who are handling my food. Do NOT mess with people who are near your food. Stuff can get into it by accident....

[catzies]

68. Yes, everyone. You never know if you're the only one nice to them that day.

Sometimes people are genuinely surprised, and that's because it's rare.

Here's to being friendly, folks. :toast:

[Kat45]

81. Me too. But these days, the cashier often does not even look at you.

Especially the teenagers, but others as well. They might be talking to the bagger or the next cashier, busy having conversation and barely paying attention. But sometimes they're not even conversing but they're still distant. I don't get that. I'm always pleasant to them, and sometimes they don't even respond to that. I still believe in saying thank you, smiling and being pleasant. I'm just saying that those on the other side of the counter are also often guilty of the behavior that is being discussed.

[RaleighNCDUer]

108. Sometimes they are distant and disconnected -

thinking, in this economy, "I'm going to be doing this for FORTY FUCKING YEARS? If I'm LUCKY?"

I'd guess it's pretty damn hard to stay engaged and connected when you are working 25 hours a week at a part time job, and that's the best you can find.

[Mimosa]

5. Syrinx, some of us were brought up to say 'please' and 'thank you'

Maybe your friend wasn't brought up well? People should try to make life easier by being kinder to one another.

I agree the country is in an ill tempered mood. Personally, I'm more anxious than angry. ;)

[SoCalDem]

8. Funny story from my son's younger years..

We were a "please, thank-you, excuse-me" family & one day I was watching my best friend's little boy ..The boys wanted a drink (they were about 3)..

Bryan (my friend's son) said "Can I have a drink?"..Without missing a beat, my son said .. "You forgot something Bryan...what comes after "Can I have a drink?"..

Bryan then said... " Can I have a drink.....NOW!?"

I reminded them that it was "May I have a drink, please"..:)...and gave them both some koolaid:)

[EFerrari]

17. LOL.

My two boys first words were cookie, Grandma, kitty, Daddy and thank you or, cookah, phama, ki-ee, dahdah and tah tah.

[provis99]

7. Southern manners are an odd thing.

It's sort of like, "Be polite or I'll shoot you."

[quickesst]

21. There is a closed community,,,,,,,,,,,

....near where I live called Hot Springs Village which is comprised of about 90 percent "non-southerners". It should be renamed Arrogant Rude Village. It may surprise you to know that being rude has no geographical bounderies. Thanks.
quickesst

[AlabamaLibrul]

75. No kidding. Sort of off-topic, but back when I was in school

I always got dealt five or six of the most horrible teachers you could have, and one decent one. Everything is supposed to be yes ma'am no sir kind of thing.

I had no problem being nice and polite and all that to the good teacher, but even that eventually went away because we pretty much got along - on a different level than "teachers pet". The cool teachers were usually liberals and we could talk about politics and the issues of the day, and I could fix the leaky sink in back of the class while everyone was still finishing their tests or whatever. We were friendly, back when it wasn't weird to be that way.

The ones who were terrible tried to make it even more so because I wouldn't bow to a tyrant. I didn't do that for my dad, I didn't do that for a bad teacher, and I don't do it now.


Moral of the story is since that drive thru people are HELPING you, be nice.

[msanthrope]

9. Saying 'please' and 'thank you' make you feel better, too.

This is what I explain to my child---not only should you acknowledge the work that others do for you, but you should train yourself to be grateful and thankful for the privileges you enjoy.

It's just being a fucking person, after all....

[treestar]

10. People love to deal with people they think they are above

in that way.

OTOH, to use my positivity training, maybe he had something on his mind and it has nothing to do with that/her.

[Loki]

11. Did you tell him his behavior was rude?

I guess I've just gotten cranky, I don't tolerate bad behavior from anyone any more.

[femrap]

70. Me, too.

If someone bumps me or walks ahead of me, I say, 'Well, excuse me. No problem. Thank you.'

Or what about people who are behind you at the grocery and they sigh and roll their eyes and stamp their feet? Finally, I'll turn around and say, 'Are you trying to say EXCUSE ME?'

I honestly believe that the 'leaders' of our country set a 'tone' for the country....I 100% blame W for this loss of manners...also I blame him for the increase of bullying. And I blame him for people not saying they're sorry or wrong....just like him.

Damn I hate him and what he did to this nation.

Of course, I live in Dumfukistan (previously known as Ohio prior to the previous Election).

[LiberalLoner]

12. Amen! Thank you for this, +1,000!!!!

I always say "thank you" and smile, at the very least. Sometimes I try to find something to compliment them on - "I like how you do your eyeshadow, it's pretty!" You wouldn't believe the warm smiles I get in return, and I get the feeling they go all day long without a person being nice to them.

I think part of it is the Republican, Ayn Randian mood that our country has been in since about 1980. We have decided mean is cool, rude is the smart way to be, selfish is the only way to be.

And I think our country is much worse for having that kind of culture. I really worry we are going to crash very hard as a nation when our empire continues to crumble. If we had a culture of helping one another and being kind and compassionate, the crash wouldn't be as hard, but....

Thank you for this. Boy I wish I could wave a magic wand and give our nation a different and better mood and more compassionate mood.

[B Calm]

13. It's always polite to say thank you to the customer, after all it's

the customer who created your job!

[keroro gunsou]

14. having suffered

for many years in the fast food service industry, i know that i and my co-workers would have appreciated the basic kindness....

[BlueGirlRedState]

15. I make sure my girls say "thank you"

when they are waited on by a store clerk or server.

One of my pet peeves is people on the phone, going through check out at the grocery store who never make eye contact or exchange one word with the clerk.

[handmade34]

16. "...mean and ill-tempered mood ..."

yes, and grumpy, thoughtless, self-absorbed, scared, snide, rude, critical, flippant, distracted and uncaring....

But, a simple please, thank you, good job, excuse me, door opened, you go first, let me help you with that... etc, etc... goes a very long way, yes indeed. Thanks for your post. Often we just forget and when someone takes the time to be nice and/or helpful, it reminds us (the other) to do the same. My partner is often kind to a fault, and I love him for it!

[sendero]

18. I agree..

... and despite my prickly rhetoric here I always treat people at restaurants, grocery stores etc with courtesy and I tip well especially for good service.

Anybody that is working for a living deserves automatic respect, as well as most who don't.

[KharmaTrain]

19. Always Have, Always Will

...even if some of 'em don't understand a word I said.

I also have a minimum 20% or $5 tip policy. Yep, there are times I'll go into a restaurant for a cup of soup or coffee and leave more in the tip than what I spend but I also know how hard those servers work...and that the $5 will go for a pair of shoes or one's kids or paying for a college degree or just make someone's life a little easier.

[quickesst]

22. I appreciate drive-thrus

....I only wish I could get home and find what I ordered in the bag instead of something I never mentioned. Wish they could get better order speakers installed too. Thanks.

quickesst

[rainbow4321]

25. Ahh, that is why we always pull into a parking spot afterwards

and look thru the bag real quick. ALWAYS. Probably 90% of the time we are doing another spin thru the drive thru to get something corrected.

How "new potatoes" even remotely sounds like "cinnamon apples", I will never know. If we had been given *mashed* potatoes I could see how it could happen, but cinnamon apples?

But we do say thank you the first and second time we go thru!

[MineralMan]

23. A simple "Thank you" costs you nothing, but repays you well.

[elocs]

24. I have a niece who when she was a little girl her teacher sent a note home with her which read:

"Heather is the most polite little girl I have ever met".

My niece is now almost 33 and she has Down syndrome and she is still very polite. (I hope my sister saved that note.)

I came home one day just as my garbage was being picked up and I yelled to the guy, "thanks a lot!" and I thought he would fall over. Sometimes a simple "thank you" can make someone's day, especially if their efforts tend to be taken for granted.

One of my pet peeves: the reply to "thank you" is "you're welcome", not another "thank you".

[niyad]

29. the same thing happened to me last week--the trash was being collected just as I came home, I smiled

and waved, said "thank you so much, and have a wonderful day"--thought the guys were going to fall out of the truck.

it doesn't cost anything to be kind and thoughtful, thankful and grateful.

[madmom]

26. Case in point... I along with my hubby and daughter stopped at Wendy's one fine afternoon for a

"quick" bite to eat. The lone person at the counter was frazzled. She was running back and forth trying her best to do it all. When it finally came to our turn she apologized for the wait and I promptly said "Hey don't worry about it, I've been there and you can only do what you can do, now relax." After she smiled and told me how much our order came to she then said "oh wait...." she changed the amount, she gave us her employee discount, smiled and said thank you. Not much, but it made her feel better and isn't that what it's all about?

[femrap]

71. I have encountered the same

thing....I use drive-thrus at Taco Bell or Wendy's (great 99 cent menu). I always ask them how they're doing and say thank you after they've told me to drive forward. Sometimes I get a free drink or I find something extra in my bag.

I think they have tough jobs. Having to listen to people while getting the order the ready. I'm not a good multi-tasker so I admire there abilities.

[DCKit]

27. You've got to be a real Moran to treat the people who handle your food rudely.

I get extra helpings and extra attention all the time by being as pleasant as possible, and I never worry about someone spitting (or worse) on my food.

Some people I know, those who treat everyone poorly, have nothing but complaints for the service they receive, in every situation.

Duh.

[niyad]

28. I say thank you to all with whom I deal--cashiers at the market all know me now, for example.

several of them have commented to me that most people act as if they are invisible. that makes no sense to me.

[Dappleganger]

30. We are judged by how well (or poorly) we treat these people in our lives.

We (that is, the entire family) make it a point to not only be courteous but go out of our way to be kind and thankful, because quite often they've been treated like crap the entire day. They remember us and are always nice right back, but you can tell that when they get hammered day after day it really does get to them after awhile.

And IMO the worst offenders are soccer moms.

[Ruby the Liberal]

66. If I am having a crap day, the best way for me to snap out of it is kindness to a stranger

makes me forget all of my ills.

:toast:

[OneGrassRoot]

31. And making eye contact....

I always make a point to say please and thank you, and wish people a nice day, but most importantly (to me) is to make eye contact.

It really bothers me how hesitant people are to make eye contact these days....

:shrug:

[femrap]

72. It's the texting and cell phones......

psychologists are saying that young people are having difficulty with face to face communication....I'm not kiddding.

[OneGrassRoot]

76. Wow....how sad. :( n/t

[JonLP24]

95. Sorry

I'm generally a very shy, shy, person that is terrified to make eye contact. It is irrational but realize some people who don't, don't have awful reasons for doing so. If I catch myself looking someone in the eye I quickly look away. I don't know why, I just do. I don't make eye contact with relatives even. Yes. I'm a sad, sad person but that is just the way I am. I wish I was more outgoing and not afraid of silly things like this. I really wish that.

[OneGrassRoot]

125. No, I'm sorry...

Thanks for enlightening me about another perspective. The people I've been around who don't make eye contact are generally very rude, boorish types who just don't consider other people's feelings or feel strangers are worthy of them looking at them and engaging with respect.

I am sorry making eye contact and engaging more easily is so difficult and painful for you; obviously, it's not a simple thing, and I hope -- if you want it to -- that this can change for you.

Please accept my apologies.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[JonLP24]

139. I understand what you mean

I do say thank you and other polite things with other people, I'm still lacking in the "gift of gab"" department though. The eye contact thing is more of a self-conscious thing more than anything, which I'm very much self-conscious.

[MindPilot]

32. Basic rule to live by: A person who is not nice to the wait staff

is not a nice person. For many people the only time they have any power over someone else is when they are dealing with the restaurant server or the gas station attendant; and they feed their fragile egos by heaping abuse on their low-wage victims.

Basic rule to live by number two: Never piss off the guy who about to work on your brakes.


I got very cynical about the general public during my time working at gas stations and car dealers. Most people were relatively decent but all too often the customer would open up with something along the lines of "I already know you're all a bunch of thieves so you are not going to gouge ME!"

Of course, you can imagine my unspoken response to that...

[NuclearDem]

33. Hell, if someone's not polite to the wait staff

I wouldn't cry at all if they seasoned that person's food with some dandruff.

[pipi_k]

38. Or a dirty rag....

not that these guys were rude or anything, but hey...football is football....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvelLJ12yhM


hahahahahahahah

:7

[Lydia Leftcoast]

46. Absolutely right!

A REAL nice person is considerate of everyone, even when no one else is looking. Even when there's no profit in it.

One of the most disgusting things I saw during my time in Portland was the reaction of a yuppie-looking man who had left his debit card in the outdoor ATM. A homeless man ran up behind him and said, "Sir, you left your card."

Without even looking at the homeless man, the yuppie man held his hand out backwards, took the card, and strode off.

I felt so bad for the homeless man that I rummaged around in my purse and found that I had five dollars on me, so I gave it to him. "Here, buy yourself something to eat."

Imagine, the homeless man could have sold the debit card to some crook who would have used the card to make online or telephone purchases, but he chose to be honest. And the yuppie idiot wouldn't even LOOK AT the homeless man who saved him from the fraudsters, as if he was afraid of catching homeless cooties, or something.

[Ruby the Liberal]

51. Whether dating or interviewing someone for a job, I always make a full service restaurant

the first stop. My main judgement of character is how someone treats wait staff and I am black and white about it. The person who is mean or even neutral/dismissive is gone. The person who goes out of their way to be kind will either get full consideration for the job (or laid, depending on the purpose).

:D

Yeah, it isn't a fair test, but to me, it speaks to character so its my thing.

[CrispyQ]

57. Sounds like a good test to me.

I was an executive assistant for many years. I had one boss who would always ask me how job candidates treated me, since I was the one who arranged the interviews & escorted the candidates from one exec to the other during the interview process.

We had an opening for a corporate counsel position. All of upper management interviewed the candidates. All the other managers liked this one guy, but when my boss, who was the hiring manager for this position asked me how he treated me, I told her honestly - he was dismissive & rude. I told her he was the same with our receptionist.

He didn't get the job, in spite of the whining of the other execs.

I always admired her for that - that she cared how people were treated.

[Ruby the Liberal]

62. Brava!! Now this is the kind of person I would have LOVED to work for.

[rasputin1952]

128. Great story! I always watch how people treat others...

I have seen clerks and cashiers come nearly to tears over the behavior of some self-appointed, "I'm better than you" types...and I have no problem at all in pointing out to the individual that he/she is a jerk...:D

[femrap]

74. OK, let me ask you this.....

I take my mother out to lunch once/week....we go to nice places. When the meal is over, why am I left to look at dirty dishes? Is this not a rule anymore? If I wanted to sit and look at dirty dishes, I'd stay home.

The server brings the check and everything....I've moved the dishes clear to the edge of the table so there's big hint. NOTHING. Now, I simply ask, 'Would you please take the dirty dishes? Thanks.'

I know we're 'just a couple of old women,' but geez. And why does the host/hostess always want to seat us at a tiny little table or beside the kitchen door/bathroom door. I just say, 'No thanks. We want a booth.' WTF?

Of course, I live in Dumfukistan (formerly known as Ohio before the previous election).

[LibDemAlways]

82. One of my pet peeves - being shown to the worst table in the

place and having the host/hostess make a big deal out of it when I politely ask for another table.

Case in point:

Last July my husband and I were celebrating our wedding anniversary. We went to a nice restaurant we have dined at many times. My husband was out of work at the time, so this was a big splurge for us. We were first shown to a table right next to a large party of 24 who were noisily celebrating a birthday. I politely explained to the hostess that we were there to celebrate our anniversary and were hoping for a table in one of the restaurant's quieter smaller rooms. She rolled her eyes at me, left us standing there for a few minutes, and returned to tell us no go. The best she could do was a table in that same room but farther away from the big group. It was so noisy in there we could barely have a conversation. Several men in the large group were literally yelling in order to be heard above the din. Within a few minutes I had a headache.

I ordered a sandwich because I simply did not want to spend the money for a nice dinner if I wasn't going to be able to enjoy it. When I returned home, I wrote a polite letter to the manager explaining the situation and suggesting that perhaps that large of a group should have been separated from other diners. I never received a response. Needless to say I will not be going back there ever.

I am unfailingly polite when I dine out, and I am a good tipper. In return, all I ask for is a good meal and courtesy on the part of the restaurant staff.

[Name removed]

98. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[LibDemAlways]

118. One really touchy subject here on DU is screaming children in

a restaurant. I once posted about a miserable experience I had in a "nice" restaurant in which a child at the next table screamed for twenty minutes straight and threw plates on the floor. The child's mother did nothing and the waitstaff and management pretended not to notice.

Believe it or not some fellow DUers told me if I didn't like it I should have stayed home.

Courtesy ought to be a three- way street in a restaurant. Customers ought to be respectful of each other as well as the restaurant personnel, and the staff ought to be professional and do their best to please the paying customers. (And it shouldn't matter one bit if the restaurant is Arby's or the Four Seasons.)

[Ruby the Liberal]

120. Absolutely and no question this should have been addressed.

but I would still not fault/penalize the wait staff for this.

[LibDemAlways]

122. I didn't penalize the waitstaff. I was courteous toward the waitress - as

always. I did ask to speak to the manager, who told me nothing could be done. Finally, a woman at another table, who'd had enough, politely asked the child's mother to please intervene, but the mother just ignored the woman.

Common courtesy is hard to find anywhere today. I am a substitute teacher, and frequently, when I enter a classroom and find a lesson plan, there is no "Thanks for taking my class today." Those few words mean a lot to someone who is subject to all kinds of abuse by virtue of the job. I think working people in general deserve respect.

[Ruby the Liberal]

92. First, you need to define 'nice'

Second, how do YOU act?

No offense, but in 45 years, I have never been treated like that.

Anywhere.

[Name removed]

94. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ruby the Liberal]

114. Yikes! Hold on here.

Heritage foundation? Really?

I am just referring to restaurants with full time servers and treating them with the respect they deserve as human beings.

Thanks for the PM, but as you have PMs and reply PMs blocked (perhaps only mine), I have no resort but to answer you here.

If you (and your mother) feel so displaced by the lesser class, then eat fast food for your monthly visits/meals as opposed to inflicting your holier-than-thou attitude on the rest of us.

People who serve for a living are NOT out to inflame you. If that was their ultimate goal, they would find a more rewarding career like minimum wage at Target/Walmart.

[Chulanowa]

124. I think we've found the root cause of why people might be rude to you.

Seems to me you probably bring it on yourself.

[bedazzled]

130. i work with a cashier like that - she's rude, and people are rude back!

big surprise. you can watch her escalate a confrontation
and just sigh.

i've had maybe four bad experiences in four years. she has
two a week!

[kimi]

91. Yep, that's a good standard

I never realized it till I started sorta seeing a guy recently who is unfailingly polite and talks to all wait-staff, cashiers, those-behind-the-counter everywhere. I mentioned it to him and he seemed sort of startled.

Character means a lot.

[Ruby the Liberal]

117. Hey friend

For me there is no grey - black or white only. How you treat servers, cabbies, cashiers - you name it - seals your fate with me.

I know I am rigid, but life is just too damn short to waste months figuring out that the 'cute guy with potential' is a supreme asshole. Best to know up front and move on, no?

:toast:

[Xenotime]

34. What if they don't deserve it.

[LanternWaste]

43. Then I'd imagine no one has lost anything...

Then I'd imagine no one has lost anything by saying "thank you" to someone we ourselves believe does not deserve the sentiment.

[Ruby the Liberal]

52. Then you double down.

For all you know the person in front of you was a complete asshole. Your kindness will bring them back to a good place.

[CrispyQ]

58. I love your attitude, Ruby!!

:applause:

[Ruby the Liberal]

63. Aw, thanks Crispy!

Life is simply too short to be an ass to people, IMO. A kind smile or passing 'good morning' to someone on the street can really set their day off right.

[rosesaylavee]

35. And remember to say thank you to the servers who

just bring water to your table. Not many even bother to look up at them let alone recognize another human just gave you a full glass of water. Always amazes me when people are ignored like that.

[pipi_k]

36. Yep, and that's really the root of it...

treating another human being like he's not invisible.


I always thank people who give me something...even water...and it's sort of weird that some of them seem a bit uncomfortable...or embarrassed.

[rosesaylavee]

55. I usually get a big smile.

They recognize that a human just said thank you for their service. They already get it. Looking forward to a day when this is not unusual behavior.

[TransitJohn]

37. They drive thru worker is the one who is supposed to say thank you.

They're taking your money.

[LanternWaste]

42. I imagine that both the phrase and sentiment behind it are not predicated on money...

I imagine that both the phrase and sentiment behind it are not predicated on money, but rather on simple civility and dignity.

[pipi_k]

47. Actually, they're not

taking your money.

They're accepting your payment on behalf of their employer.


What they probably should be thanked for is making it possible for (the collective) you to avoid having to get off your (collective) drive-thru ass and walk it into the store. Or bank. Or wherever the drive-thru is.

[Codeine]

54. Heaven forfend us lowly service workers don't grovel at your feet with sufficient alacrity!

Please castigate us again so we won't forget our place in the natural order of things! Without your quick thinking we may have gotten uppity and started to think of ourselves as humans worthy of your respect. Good save!!

[Ikonoklast]

64. They also remember the jerks.

It doesn't cost you anything to be pleasant, but being impolite pays no dividends.

Trust me on this one.

[Name removed]

65. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[gristy]

88. They certainly are NOT supposed to say thank you.

If someone thanks you for your money, do you always say "You're welcome"?

All you gave them is your money. They provided you a service. If it was good service, then you can thank them.

[Ruby the Liberal]

115. Deleted for calling you out on your classism? Really?

Bookmarked.

:hi:

[Ruby the Liberal]

116. Oh, and please allow me to assist you with your grammar. No charge.

"They drive thru worker..."

Should be

"The drive through worker"

You are welcome.

[IrishEyes]

39. I always say please and thank you.

Some guys treat waiters badly because they want to make themselves feel and look important. I don't understand why because most women are turned off by guys who are rude to waiters. I can't stand when people are rude to retail sales people, receptionists, waiters or anyone else who works with people. The true test of a gentleman is how he treats people in customer service.

[tuckessee]

40. I always do.

And they remember such things.

One day the drive-thru was crowded so I went inside. A brand-new girl goofed up my order, causing the register to lock up. She became visibly frustrated and began profusely apologizing to me when suddenly the girl at the next register (who I didn't even know knew me) leaned over smiling and told the new girl "Don't worry, he's our most mellow and nice customer."

[Celtic Raven]

41. We also thank them for being there on holidays

if we hit the drive through, or any other business for that matter.

[JNelson6563]

44. I am always kind to those who serve me in any way.

I've worked with the public long enough to know the ratio of assholes to non-assholes is really high. I'm always kind & respectful to those in the service industry.

Julie

[Abq_Sarah]

56. Little things

Like making eye contact and thanking the person you're dealing with can make a difference.

[csziggy]

45. I say please and thank you even when I am calling to voice a complaint

A few weeks ago I spent a few eons on the phone with Verizon trying to help my parents voice and DSL lines repaired (and after those were fixed, trying to get the modem that was running at 1% of the specified speed replaced). I said please and thank you to all the customer service people even while I was reaming out the company for their poor service by the ground crews.

It was not the fault of the representatives I spoke to that the lines had been down for four days or that the ground crews cleared the previous tickets without checking to make sure the repairs were actually done. I think it helped get results sooner than if I had been rude.

[TheKentuckian]

49. Always, good message though. Too many have forgotten how their families raised them.

[Ruby the Liberal]

50. Smiling doesn't hurt either. Or nodding and saying hello to someone you pass on the street.

I try to do that as I am walking to work. It is amazing to see someone with a scowl on their face light up at the mere acknowledgment of "good morning" as you pass them.

[asdjrocky]

53. It all goes back to Fight Club...

"We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances, we guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us." Tyler Durden

[CrispyQ]

61. ...and don't order the clam chowder tonight.

;)

[Initech]

67. His name is Robert Paulson. His name is Robert Paulson.

[Swede]

59. Maybe he doesn't realise this?

I always say please and thank you.

[Spirochete]

60. I always do

I say "please", "thank you", and "have a nice day" to everyone like that I deal with, no matter what kind of a shit mood I'm in. After all, my mood has nothing to do with them. But I have seen a lot of people who are much less gracious with them, some even being unnecessarily surly.

[-..__...]

73. Don't EVER go up to the drive-thru.

Wanna know why?...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRP8Tl4BsUQ

B-)

[rtassi]

100. +1

[nonconformist]

77. I'm always polite, and I'm teaching my children to be also, because (more)

I have worked in retail and a myriad of other serving the public jobs, and I know first hand how a pleasant comment or smile from a customer can sometimes make your day. Especially if you've been having a crappy one so far because of rude customers. There were times when I would be on the verge of tears over mean customers, then one would come that was absolutely polite and pleasant and it would really turn my day around.

Words matter. Attitude matters. Negativity is contagious. Politeness is also contagious.

[Liberal_in_LA]

78. good points to remember. I recall my experiences working in retail in my teens, people

took their bad moods out on the cashier.

[Rhythm]

79. This service-industry employee thanks YOU for this...

Anyone who has ever worked in a service-oriented business knows what a difference a few simple, kind words from a customer can make.

Most of us work our butts off to satisfy our clients/guests/customers...
Saying "thank you" lets us know we've gotten it right.

[rainbow4321]

80. And to those cashiers who are made to push

the larger drinks or extra snacks at the movie theaters.
My daughter started out as a cashier and has worked her way up to asst manager.
The company has a policy that the cashiers have to try and convince the movie goer to upsize their order. Corporate even sends in secret shoppers, if you will, and if the cashier doesn't do that offering, the manager working over the kids get written up and singled out and the kids get grief, also. My daughter has seen kids leave their shift crying over such incidents. If the kids do the upsize offering, their manager's names get put into t drawing for some sort of prize.
So, please, I know it can be annoying when you order something and the concession cashier tries to push other stuff by asking you to upsize or add stuff to your order but just know they know the consequences if you happen to be undercover from corporate.

[Lucian]

83. Aren't they supposed to thank us?

Isn't it their job to serve us? I mean, after all, we're the ones who are giving them the money.

Sure, I may sound like a dick, but I bring up valid points.

[asdjrocky]

84. Yes, you sound like a dick. nt

[Lucian]

86. Thanks for adding nothing to this discussion.

I don't like social niceties. Why should I have to say "thank you" to someone who was doing their job? If they went out of their way and did something extra, when I didn't ask for it, then I'd say "thank you."

[RadiationTherapy]

127. You say thank you because it is nice to say and to hear and life is hard enough.

I suspect you know life is hard and that that fact has had an impact on your attitude expressed here.

[B Calm]

85. I agree. It's the customer who should be the one getting thanks. Then we say your welcome!

Damn. It amazes me how some people are raised now days.

[muffin1]

135. I was a manager at a video store for nearly 20 years.

When training new hires, I told them to ALWAYS thank the customer - as they were keeping us employed - even when the customer thanked us first. But do you think we didn't enjoy HEARING 'thank you' from time to time? After standing on one's feet for 8-10 hours a day, and suffering countless assholes, those mere pleasantries mean a lot.

[rtassi]

101. Giving & receiving equal parts required for abundance. n/t

[siligut]

126. You are giving their corporate overlords the money.

Gone are the days we actually deal with merchants directly. The person at the window gets crumbs from what you hand them, thus is the way of capitalism. And gone is the responsibility to the customer.

[grace0418]

87. It's a real pet peeve of mine. Even people I know who are generally nice people can be

brusque or even rude in these situations and it drives me NUTS. I worked with a girl who would always bark her order through a drive thru speaker (or in a restaurant, it didn't matter). No "hello", no "I'd like xxx please" no "thank you". Just "hamburger and a coke" or whatever she was having. Grrr...

It doesn't take any extra energy to be nice and courteous. And, yes I know some people working behind the counter are rude themselves, but that doesn't make it okay to be preemptively rude to them.

[Capitalocracy]

89. I always say thank you at restaurants or any other service situation

When they bring the bread, the food, the dessert, everything (maybe too much?)
Actually I say "gracias"

[CLANG]

90. They aren't just sothern manners, they are midwestern manners also.

[CitizenLeft]

106. you're right... I had a friend from Mississippi visit a few years back...

...she stayed over a weekend for a concert. She commented over and over about how polite and friendly Clevelanders were, which surprised me. Not that she found us friendly, but that we are different from Mississippians? That's what was surprising. People here do smile and nod to each other on the street, all the time. It's the norm. It's not that way everywhere, and when I visit a larger city where the people don't even look at you, I do feel a little uncomfortable. :shrug:

[TuxedoKat]

93. A friend of mine

once remarked at how polite my daughter was saying please and thank you. She had never taught her daughter to do that, just thought she would start doing it on her own. When my daughter (at age 13 months) repeated the word "thank you" to a grocery store clerk right after I said it, I knew that it wasn't to young to start teaching manners. Fortunately it is second nature to say please, thank you, etc., to both my kids now as it is to me.

[Phlem]

96. and I always tip

more than 15% on top of thank you.

I've been in retail (thankfully that was a lifetime ago) long enough to see the ugly.

Thank you and looking them in the eye is what I try to do every time.

They get the worst of us and no one deserves that.

-p

[CakeGrrl]

97. Always do.

It doesn't cost anything and putting something positive out into the world can't be a bad thing.

I've also been lucky enough to mostly encounter servers who remember to thank you first anyway, and it would be the height of rudeness, to me, not to return that.

I believe that at some level, your actions have a way of coming back to you. Call it karma.

I don't know if people are just plain rude and disrespectful and that's on the increase, or if they're transferring their anger at other things onto the hapless, anonymous food service person whom they figure they'll never meet or interact with again.

[rtassi]

99. Basic civility leads us all to higher ground ... n/t

[Terra Alta]

102. a simple "thank you" can go a long way

Sometimes when I'm having a bad day with especially rude customers, I'll get one who is very polite, makes conversation with me, treats me like a human being, and says thank you. It's those type of people who make my job bearable.

[cags]

103. I work in the service industry(not food) and I could care less if you thank me...

I give great service, and go above and beyond what is required. Thats why I make more money than others in my place of business. We have quotas and my paycheck is based on my sales so my reward comes from getting the most money out of your pocket.

I personally feel I should thank you for choosing us and me personally over others, its the reason I keep my job. You will get the same service from me whether your an ass or angel, as long as you spend your money. The asses make for good stories, and the angels make the day go by faster.

Now what I would like is for those of you who treat a department store like your bedroom, to knock it off. Pick up after yourself and hang your stuff back up. Stop acting like a god damn pig and it really is not my job to be your mother.

Sorry for that, I just went through the wrong end of Black Friday.

[LibDemAlways]

123. I never cease to be amazed by the messes people leave in

department store dressing rooms. It takes so little effort to put clothes back on a hanger instead of leaving a big pile on the floor. I always find myself picking up after the slob who used the room before me. Department stores are so understaffed today that it's just common courtesy to help the workers out by returning unwanted clothes to the rack near the dressing room door.

[tilsammans]

133. When I worked in retail, . . .

. . . someone once left a . . . um . . . unique calling card in the dressing room.

He TOOK A DUMP in the pants he tried on! :puke:

I kid you not.

[LibDemAlways]

136. Oh crap, that's awful! Back in the 1980s I

taught 7th and 8th graders full time. I once found a similar gift on my desk, and I could still gag when I think about it.

[CitizenLeft]

104. I always say thank you...

...at the drive-thru, to the cleaning crew at work, at the car wash, in the convenient store, to waitresses/waiters, everywhere. Just common curtesy, doesn't cost a single thing. And most people always appreciate it.

[Iggo]

105. P's and Q's, baby.

Parents taught me well.

[renate]

107. I can't imagine interacting with another human being as if they weren't actually there

I have a conversation with the grocery clerk, checkout person, etc almost every time I go through the line, except when they're too busy. I'm not patting myself on the back about it--it's just being a member of society. It brightens my day, so it's selfish as much as anything.

Another thing I really enjoy doing, and it doesn't take too long for businesses with a "contact us" link, is writing a little thank-you note or comment when someone's been particularly helpful. I assume it goes into their file and might lead to a raise or promotion someday. Again, it's mostly a selfish thing to do, because it gives me a really good feeling. As Frank Burns said on M*A*S*H, "it's nice to be nice to the nice."

[Danmel]

109. It never hurts to say something nice to a boss, either

One night, almost 18 years ago, we went to dinner with my husbands parents, his grandparents and our not quite 2 year old daughter.
My husbands grandfather had Parkinson's disease & our daughter was,well,not quite 2.
The waitress was a very pleasant young woman who was helpful to the grandfather without being patronizing or making him feel bad, and very cheerful & engaged with our toddler.
As we were leaving, I went over to the manager of the diner and told him how nice the waitress had been.
She came over to me & thanked me- she had had a difficult day and she thought she was going to get fired- she said we saved her job for her.
So I always try to acknowledge good service, not just to that person, but to their supervisor- you never know how much you can help someone.

[rasputin1952]

129. Way to go!

I do that myself...:D

[Name removed]

110. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[jtuck004]

111. Good reminder. Thank you. n/t

[onehandle]

112. I am polite to all service workers no matter how inferior they are to me.

Kidding about the second half of that sentence.

I'm in Georgia, and the 'Southern obsession with manners' died long ago over here.

[Quantess]

113. Being polite doesn't cost anything,

and it makes you feel better about yourself. At least it does for me.
It makes others feel better, too. And it's FREE. Hey!

[MotorCityMan]

119. Just started a customer service job after being out of work a year

And it really amazes me just how rude people can be. I'm two weeks out of training, and I've been swore at by teenagers using language that would make my sailor father blush. Unfortunately, all I can do is take it. Also, alot of people calling in have no idea of the conditions and terms they signed up for. I want to tell these people, ignorance is no excuse and you're not getting a refund because you "didn't know".

At the same time, I've had some really great people. I'm new to this, and I'll be stumbling around, trying to find the correct procedure and apologizing for the wait, and the customer will be, "Oh you're fine, take your time" and just be really nice about it. I've also had teenagers calling in who were just so polite, calling me sir, and saying please and thank you for everything, and I just want to tell them, "You know, you're mom and dad raised you right. Please keep it up".

I've had drilled into my head from birth on about being polite, about saying "please" and "thank you", that I've always noticed it when others are rude. I don't know how many times I've held the door for someone at a store or something, and they breeze through without acknowleding you, and I'll say loudly, "You're welcome!". Actually, I've noticed it's the elderly people you do that for that don't acknowledge you (and sorry, just cause you've lived this long, you're not "owed" anything"); I've had teenagers that look like gang-bangers smile back and say thank you when I hold the door for them.

Anyways, it is bad, this lack of common courtesy. I do think it is a reflection of our selfish "I want it MY WAY and I want it NOW" culture.

[orleans]

121. maybe he was having a bad day? preoccupied?

i don't know.

i've always been a "please and thank you" kind of girl

[rasputin1952]

131. In virtually all service centered jobs...

the customer sets the tone. Some are condescending, some are contrite, but a good customer service person can adapt to virtually anything.

If a customer acts like a fool, they may not get treated as a fool, but everyone within sight and hearing has already sized the individual to be a Neanderthal. It costs nothing to be nice and polite, it can cost you every bit of dignity you possess if you prove yourself to be a fool, or some kind of "Scrooge" by being a complaining, tightwad.

If going out to shop or eat becomes such a burden for a few, I suggest that said miscreants avoid as much as is humanly possibly to avoid afflicting others with the negativity that you seem to be comfortable with. Treating people with kindness and dignity is an option, but it is a good option. For those who would look down upon others, where would you be w/o these people who make just enough cash to scrape by?

Several years ago I was driving cross country back to NY. My son and I stopped at a little cafe in MO, and were waited on by a young woman whom I thought was about to give birth right there. Wanting to make some human contact, I asked if she knew if it was a boy or a girl she was expecting, (it was a girl). We talked a few minutes and she went to get our orders, and was very pleasant throughout out dining experience. The tab came out to $11+ and I thought a $2 tip would not be enough...the service was excellent and the food was really good; I left her a $20, and when we paid on the way out, the owner/manager was the cashier. I mentioned that the young waitress might appreciate some time off her feet as she was hustling around dealing w/other customers and making small talk...he smiled and told me she was the hardest worker he had ever seen and was barely making it because of the recent downturn in customers.

My son and I were heading out to the car, and the door to the cafe opened up, and here came the waitress, saying, "Sir, sir, you forgot your take out!" She then told me her boss sent her out with a bag with two huge cinnamon buns, thick w/icing and a sincere thank you from both of them for being so nice. Some days, it just feels so GOOD to be alive...:D

[rasputin1952]

132. Oops...dupe...

:blush:

[tilsammans]

134. Agree. People in low-paying service jobs have it shitty enough . . .

. . . without having to deal with assholes who can't be bothered showing simple gratitude.

What does a thank you cost? Nothing. And a little goes a long way. :hi:

[pipi_k]

137. Another thankless job...

doesn't involve food, but human lives...

Some years back I worked in the Human Services field as a residential manager for a small group (3) of mentally challenged (but moderately high functioning) adults.

The two guys had parents who were absolutely great. They understood the difficulties the staff faced each and every day. It was not easy. The young woman, however, had a mom who was a complete asshole.

Her daughter was in the program because she (the mom) either couldn't, or didn't want to, deal with her. As legal guardian, she would not allow her daughter the same freedoms to move through the community as the two guys had. She was controlling. She would visit once a month and go through her adult daughter's (28 at the time) room, cleaning and putting stuff away, then complain when staff couldn't get the daughter to do it herself...well, why should she, when MOM was doing it FOR her?

It didn't stop there...she was very disrespectful toward me and the entire residential staff.

One day she called me to wretch about something or other, and I was not in a mood to hear it because my (estranged) husband had just passed away. I told her this, and she said to me in almost these exact words, "I really don't care about your dead husband" and then went on with her tirade. I'm ashamed to say that I screeched something nasty at her before slamming the phone down in her ear.

She never once thanked the people who worked with her daughter, unlike the parents of the two guys, who never failed to show appreciation for the jobs we all did.

And, to make it worse....at the time, Human Service workers at this particular agency were making LESS per hour than the burger flippers at the McDonalds.


Anyway, I didn't realize it at the time, but it occurred to me some years later that this woman was probably being horribly rude and obnoxious to cover up her own inner guilt for turning over the care of her daughter to other people.

[rasputin1952]

138. You hit the nail on the head w/your last comment...it's what I was thinking...

as I read through your post.

I worked in the medical field for many years, and that is where people can be their best and their worst. One woman, the daughter of a dying patient was far more concerned about the jewelry her mother had than anything else. I think it might have been she was just covering up her inability to cope, then again, she may have been as big an asshole as thought she was.

Many times I had to deal with grieving families, usually just before the pt passed on. Because i wore a Lob Coat, I guess people thought I was somebody. In any case, I'd often be asked for advice on how to deal with these situations and I'd tell family members to go in and put it all on the table, clear it all away, tell him/her you love them and will miss them, talk about the good times and everyone should part with a warm smile...don't put it off, because you may not get another chance. Well over a 100 people would search me down over the years, some driving 20+ miles to thank me for being there when they needed someone to talk sense. I received thank you cards and nice notes, not once did someone berate me and I never berated them either.

I lost my dad when I was 13 to a long bout with colon cancer, I was in MD when he died in NY, and I have never really come to grips that I didn't have that last time to tell him I loved him, and that I would be a better person because of what he had taught me and shown me. I fgured that if I felt that way...then maybe others would too if they missed that last chance to say goodbye...apparently, I was right...:hug: