Dilbert on Motivational Speakers

[n2doc]

[xchrom]

1. spot. on. nt

[hobbit709]

2. That was pretty much the way i felt in those days

Rah, rah from the managers didn't translate well to me.
My attitude was "You want to motivate me, then cross my palms with silver"

When I worked at TI, I got a six month step and merit raise of 20 cents/hr and half of that was a raise that everyone got.
I had the highest per tech repaired board output with the lowest return rate and evidently they felt that was worth 10 CENTS while they were charging the customer $100 per hour.

[rfranklin]

4. I received glowing reviews at a large publishing company...

for which I received a $5 per week increase. Years later I learned that my boss was bragging in confidential memos that everyone in the department was being paid below their pay grade even after those meager raises.

[Sal Minella]

5. I got one ten-cent raise in three years, and the managers

were mystified and all huffy when I left without explaining why.

We were told at a company meeting (by the Big Boss) that we were not to discuss our hourly rate or raises with each other.

We were penalized fifteen minutes' pay if we punched in three minutes after 8 a.m., but the boss's wife (who "worked" in my department) punched in and out any time of day she chose, without a word to anybody. The rest of us always wondered what her hourly rate was exactly, but actually the less she was there, the better, since we had to mop up her mistakes.

The boss told us "productivity" was his favorite word. No shit.

[hobbit709]

6. "Productivity" is always the favorite word of the nonproducing class.

At TI things got so bad that one day the shift supervisor came back from lunch, sat at his desk for about 15 minutes and the notice they got was when they saw his back going out the door. within two weeks of that, I had quit, 5 of their other top techs had quit and 12 of the 15 remaining techs had applied for transfers to Houston. When people were willing to go to Houston from Austin in 1977, there was something wrong. That gave management a hint that they had a problem.

[IDemo]

3. A lot of people are living in a van, down by the river

[ThoughtCriminal]

7. Get Motivated!

Be thankful if your boss did not spring $19 to send the entire office to this:

[Swede]

8. Now that would be a long fucking day.

yawn

[HughBeaumont]

9. "PULL YERSELF UP BY YER BOOTSTRAPS LIKE US'N REPUBLIKINS!"

Zig Ziglar and his band of bootstrapper clowns can eat a dick. If getting rich were as easy as attending a seminar that features SarUH Palin, Colin "I really had no choice in the matter" Powell, Scary Bradshaw and 9iu11iani, then why the hell isn't EVERYONE doing it?

[HughBeaumont]

10. "Motivation is how the powerful steal from the dumb". I like that.

Why does their CEO look like either a finger, an upside-down test tube filled with Silly Putty or an uncut penis?