How to Spot a Rapist

[uppityperson]

Does he/she refuse to listen to your "no" or "stop"? Well, there you are.

[RandomKoolzip]

1. Wha? The? Context?

[notadmblnd]

2. It's from an article posted this morning. It had less to do with being able to identify a potential

rapist than it was more like how not to become a victim of a rapist.

[uppityperson]

3. with a lot of inaccurate debunked "facts" and advice in it.

[mentalsolstice]

7. And there is no real good guaranteed way to not become a victim, nt

[blaze]

4. I was gang raped thirty years ago

Care to share a link?

[uppityperson]

5. I am sorry that that happened. Sorry, no link though

Just personal experience, yrs of talking with others, yrs volunteering with such sort of things.

[mentalsolstice]

6. You don't want that link!

I'm so sorry for what happened to you and I'm so thankful you survived. That's all that is important! :hug:

[blaze]

8. Frankly, I *do* want the link

I survived (though my puppy did not) and that experience has served me well over the years.

[mentalsolstice]

11. Here you go!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=9751784&mesg_id=9751784. Those of us who work with rape survivors, realize there is no guaranteed prevention. You can tell a child to look both ways when crossing the street, it does not mean no person will ever be run over even though they looked both ways.

Again, I applaud your efforts to survive, that is the important factor (although I'm sorry about your puppy).

[uppityperson]

12. Indeed there is no guaranteed prevention. Age, sex, hairstyle, weaponry, location

all can vary. Being aware is a good way to avoid a lot of all sorts of crap, but there is no guaranteed prevention. The infant molested by a sitter or parent, a woman raped by her husband, the old lady asleep in her locked up house, the college student taking a swig out of a drink that's been tampered with.

I sorry about the puppy too, and surviving is the important factor. And figuring out how to heal yourself beyond the physical.

[uppityperson]

13. Sorry, thought you meant a link to "Does he/she refuse to listen to your "no" or "stop"?"

I am sorry about your puppy and glad you survived.

[blaze]

16. That's exactly what I meant

My sweet little Cocker Spaniel, Donald Duck, did not survive.

My beloved Chow, Freddie, did. :evilgrin:

Freddie is gone, but Magilla lives on:

[uppityperson]

18. Pretty face, fuzzy rug dog there

Here are some links, first 3 I came up with on a search. Sexual assault without the person's consent, ie "
Does he/she refuse to listen to your "no" or "stop"?" I guess I should have made it clear that I was talking about sexual assault, not just "refuse to listen" as as 1 poster pointed out his/her 22 month olds do that a lot. But hey, then the nitpickers (of which I am one) would have to work harder to find something to complain about.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape
In criminal law, rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, by one person against another person without that person's consent.

Though definitions vary, rape is defined in most jurisdictions as sexual intercourse, or other forms of sexual penetration, of one person (not necessarily, though almost always "the victim") by another person (typically "the accused" or "the perpetrator") without the consent of the victim.


http://kidshealth.org/teen/safety/safebasics/rape_what_to_do.html
Rape is forced, unwanted sexual intercourse. Rape, sometimes also called sexual assault, can happen to both men and women of any age.

Rape is about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence — or the threat of it — to take control over another human being. Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance, or a family member.


http://www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/was-it-rape
The exact definition of “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse” and similar terms differs by state. The wording can get confusing, since states often use different words to mean the same thing or use the same words to describe different things. So, for a precise legal definition, you need to check the law in your state. But here are some general guidelines based on the definitions used by the U.S. Justice Department. Please note that these definitions are a bit graphic, which is inevitable when describing crimes this violent.

Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal, or oral penetration. Penetration may be by a body part or an object.

Rape victims may be forced through threats or physical means. In about 8 out of 10 rapes, no weapon is used other than physical force. Anyone may be a victim of rape: women, men or children, straight or gay.
Sexual assault is unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling. (But, be aware: Some states use this term interchangeably with rape.)

[mentalsolstice]

19. It is difficult when not only are you raped...

...but loved ones suffer or die. And it is no matter that they're animals, they were loved by you. I'm childless by choice, and my heart would break if one of my girls (dogs or cats) suffered or were killed during an attack on me.

Hopefully you have been counseled. If not PM me.

[blaze]

20. Thanks MS

That was over thirty years ago and I have survived just fine.

I always mourn my little Duck as it was a death she certainly did not deserve. I have often consoled myself with the fact that she didn't suffer long.

My amazing Fred (RIP) and his current incarnation have kept me safe and sound for many years :)

[mentalsolstice]

22. Oh, what happened to you and Duck!

Please know there are a lot of supporters out there. Duck and Fred did not live their lives in vain. Your community should have resources for you to talk about your experience. You may find that part of the healing would be volunteering as a rape response advocate (this is what I do). If not, there are other ways for you to lend your voice. In my instance, it was our local Crises Center, it deals with Rape Response, and has phone lines for suicide prevention, children issues, and the elderly.

[Chorophyll]

9. Yes. I'm so tired of the implication

that rape is only committed by scary strangers in dark alleys. I couldn't bring myself to wade into that other thread. x(

[Crunchy Frog]

10. That about describes my two 22 month old sons right now.

[uppityperson]

14. Do you get any sleep?

Looks like a lot of fun and a lot of energy.

[On the Road]

15. So In Other Words

the way to spot a rapist is at some DURING the process of being raped?

Very helpful.

[uppityperson]

17. The only truly accurate way in all instances. Can be any age, sex, race, socio-economic class

As can the victim. There are no simply answers that will work all the time.

You are welcome, doing my public duty here.

[mentalsolstice]

21. You are exactly right!

No means NO! And if the person is unable to give a "No" then the implied answer is "No".