My honest ad on Craig's List.

[sofa king]

I decided that rather than unload my slow and unreliable moped on some unwitting victim, I'd take the opposite approach and say what I really think about it. Here it is:

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Verucci 50cc Moped from Hell

I'm not going to sugar-coat this: I hate this bike. It's heavy, sluggish, kicks out in turns, and can't climb the steepest of (My Fair City's) hills. It has been wrecked at least once, the kick-start has been kicked straight out of the transmission case, and it is held together with zip ties and duct tape. A sophisticated and undetectable safety sensor knows when it's wet or cold or you're in a hurry or far away from home, and refuses to allow the vehicle to start in any of those conditions.

So why is it worth $400? Because to the right person, it's a rocket in the making. It's flashy. It shares virtually all parts--including engine mounts, transmission, and electronics--with its 150cc GY6 big brother, which looks identical except for a single sticker. It has no rev limit and, if you can find a downhill incline long enough, it already easily exceeds the state speed limit of 35mph. It's been ridden so fast (downhill) that there are pee stains on the seat. It has a functional ABS disc brake on the front, a new throttle cable, and a new transmission belt. A five-liter tank gives it exceptional range, while its mileage typically hovers around 70-80 mpg--good things since the fuel gauge doesn't work. The lying-ass speedometer allows you to pretend you're not blocking traffic at 15 mph up hills. It currently reads 5600 miles on the odometer, which in Verucci-speak means just about 4000 actual miles. Its exhaust is ripe for modification or replacement.

This particular bike used to be named Traveller II, because it lived in the back yard of one of Robert E. Lee's homes. It has proven unworthy of the name and is now known as "the miserable slug." I need to unload this turd because I have a real moped which is more deserving of attention.

As an alternative to subjecting yourself to a short life of frustration, you can scrape up $350 and a video camera and allow me to beat this Chi-talian piece of crap to shards with a crowbar for your amusement, and mine. Your choice.

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I'll extend the second part of my offer to all of you: show me the money, and I'll send this evil piece of shit straight back to Hell. I don't have a video camera, but if the price is right, I'll find one and try to keep it out of the blast radius so that you and I can watch it die, over and over again.

Do yourself a favor and never buy one of these things. It's marketed under many names. All of them suck.