Would you like to share...? Why are you pro-choice...?

[bliss_eternal]

I recall something like this on Planned Parenthood and Naral for a while. They were accpeting statements to compile and place on their website.

We're still pretty new and maybe everyone here is comfortable yet sharing something so personal. So, it will be here. When or if you want to share, feel free--basing your comments on any (or none) of the following:

When did you know that you were Pro-choice?

Was there a specific life event or situation that made you Pro-choice?

Is your belief based on someone significant in your life? How did they influence you?

(Again, just be careful about sharing any "self-identifying" information--such as city, street names, specific names of people, places, etc. Except of course names of clinics and pro-choice organizations:) )

[Bjornsdotter]

1. Hard to say why

...it's just what I've always been.

However, if I had to put a reason associated with it I would say it was something said in passing to me at age 7 (1967). I was spending the summer with my grandparents in Sweden and a friend's sister was going to Poland for a week to have an abortion.

Having no clue what this was, I questioned my Grandmother who patiently answered my questions to the best of her ability (considering my age) and also said that it was wrong that women had to go to Poland for this procedure. At the time, I was a little kid and sorta blew it off, until years later when it all really began to sink in.

I can't remember a time I wasn't pro-choice and as for the friend's sister, she ended up having 3 children when she was ready to have kids.

Cheers

[I Have A Dream]

2. I have always resented the restrictions that society put on me as a female.

It became clear to me very early that many of the restrictions that were placed on females were because of our ability to get pregnant even when we didn't want to, and that, until we had reproductive choice, we would never be viewed by society as being equal to men. Easily-available birth control was the first step, but abortion also had to be available to give women total control over their reproductive lives.

Choice = equality to me.

[smokey nj]

3. I'm pro-choice because it's nobody's damned business how I conduct my personal life.

I don't want to be a mother, my husband doesn't want to be a father. I'm 37 years old (for another month anyway) and NOBODY'S going to force me to bear a child I don't want. And, before the adoption folks weigh in I'd like to ask, would YOU want to adopt the child of a 38 year old woman who smokes and enjoys a glass or two of wine every now and then?

[ismnotwasm]

4. I grew up hating the idea someone could

Force me to bear a child. My father, who cannot shut up about anything--bless his heart--Told my sister and I about an illegal abortion he obtained for his sister before we were born. We were probably pretty young when he shared that information, because it seems as though I've always known about it. I'm grateful for it now.

It never ever made sense to me no matter what phase of my life I was going through, what experiences, up to and including childbirth and abortion, that a law could force me to be-- and prosecute me for not-- being akin to something like a brood mare. A birthing slave. My mind is appalled by the very concept. Every cell in my body rejects the idea. If I may get even more dramatic, my sense of what makes human beings human beings is totally violated. How dare anyone force a continued pregnancy on anyone?


My father is vehemently a forced birther now ("But I don't think they should pass laws about" it he says)

[More Than A Feeling]

5. Reading about all the assholes out there who make no secret of their desire to control women.

I wasn't going to be associated in any way shape or form with such pathetic people. Reading feminist bloggers locked in my pro-choice position.

[WildClarySage]

6. I'm pro-choice because women are people too

and we are quite capable of getting it thru our pretty lil heads and making choices for ourselves that reflect our own morals and values.

[BlueIris]

7. Because the idea that the state should have a say in my health decisions always seemed wrong to me.

Does the state give a rat's ass what Mr. Penis does with his health decisions? No? 'Kay then, keep your laws away from health choices.

[ThomCat]

8. I am pro-choice because...

I believe everyone should have the right to control their own life, and their own body, without outside interferance.

This is not an absolute right, of course. I think there are legitimate physical health and mental health reasons sometime to overrule someone's choices, but that should be a rare and carefully controlled exception. I think that exception has been horribly abused to the point where it has become official policy. It has, unfortunately, becoming a presumption that people no longer have any autonomy over their own lives and bodies.

I would not want anyone making life-changing decisions for me against my will. I would not want anyone dictating my healthcare decisions against my will. I would not want to lose my self-determination. There is no way I could, in good conscience, do to anyone else what I would hate to have them do to me.

[bliss_eternal]

9. I've seen firsthand, what forced birthing does...

it perpetuates the cycle of abuse. (Something most forced birthers refuse to acknowledge. They minimize this, perhaps because this is how they came to exist, too. :shrug:)

To me, being pro-choice includes the right to birth control options, access to sex education and legal reproductive health choices. I don't believe women, and frequently children should be FORCED into parenthood. I believe youth should have access to sex ed, and abortions, without parental consent. I've seen parents deny consent in healthy AND abusive families, ruining the life of the child and their offspring.

[uppityperson]

10. Since puberty, since watching friends sweat over choices, since being sexually active.

Had 2 friends in highschool who got pregnant. 1 went to NY (only NY and CA had legal abortions available) for an abortion, 1 went to an unwed-mother's home to give birth and adopt out her baby. Worked since becoming an adult, and a nurse, with Family Planning, Planned Parenthood, community clinics & private doctors working with reproductive issues.

I guess it just pissed me off at a young age, not having the choice of a legal abortion if I ever needed or wanted one. And yes, I have been torn along different lines at times, but have always and will always work to keep the choice of a legal one a choice.

[lizerdbits]

11. I have always been predominantly pro choice

Though in younger years, before sex drive kicked in, I thought "Well just don't do it if you don't want kids." Well puberty hit and that was gone!

Two other things also helped turn me into my current 'if it's not your uterus it's not your business' position. My aunt (mom's side) got pregnant at 17 because the guy said he'd love her forever if she had sex with him. They had a strict Catholic upbringing with no sex ed other than don't do it. (My mom said she thought she was dying when she got her first period because she had no idea what it was.) Without any information about sex and probably not much access to birth control (Montana in the 60's) my aunt gets pregnant and comes to live with some nuns near my mom who was finishing up college to serve as a baby machine for someone else. My aunt later had children after getting married but at the time my cousins didn't know this story- my sister and I were told by my mom to say "If you get pregnant I will NOT do this to you" probably to prevent us from running off with some guy or having an unsafe abortion because we thought she'd be angry if we told her. I'm not sure they know about it now (both in their 30's).

The second thing was one of my mom's college friends had an illegal abortion but due to complications later (not sure what specifically) she wound up having a hysterectomy. She wanted to have kids later, after she was finished with school and married, but thanks to not having safe legal abortions was not able to do so.

I think that's why she's pro choice and why I am. I also don't want my own kids and after seeing my sister go through pregnancy twice (both planned) I will not subject myself to that when I don't want the result. Not even if I made the $$$ myself instead of an adoption agency. I just don't understand the desire to control other people's reproduction. Controlling your own is a basic human right.

[bliss_eternal]

12. I could have written some of what you shared...

(about your aunt). My relative was pregnant at 16. Also come from a Catholic family. She was forced to drop out of highschool and to marry. The guy was blackmailed--threatened with statutory rape charges (he was over 18), unless he married her. He was in love with her and happily complied.

I'm sure I don't have to go on with what a disaster it was. :(

Sadly, the cycle of abuse was perpetuated. :( The kid had the necessities of life, but little else (affection, esteem, kindness, etc.). They eventually seperated and divorced.

Sex was NOT discussed in that family, AT ALL. Among other things. :eyes: It's like you were supposed to just come out of the womb KNOWING everything you needed for life. If you admitted to not knowing anything, you were belittled for it and made to feel worse about it, as if it was your fault you didn't know(even at the age of five). (Grand parenting skills, right? :sarcasm:)

I can only imagine how confused and in the dark my relative was about sex, puberty, etc. I've heard the same stories, about various relatives thinking they were dying when they got their first menstrual cycle, etc.

[Warpy]

13. I watched a friend die from a botched illegal abortion in 1968

and that is why I am pro choice.

Never again.

[supernova]

14. Basic self-determination for women

begins with birth control and control over our own bodies and fertility. That includes the right to legal, safe abortions.

Without it, we don't have a snowball's chance in hell of our own economic determination.

I've always been pro-choice because I grew up with a strong independent mother who always wanted me to be independent. I also was born with a heart condition. While, as it turns out, I could have had children if I had wanted, I spent my growing up years not really knowing if that was true or not. There was no talk of what I would do as a grown woman. I didn't take it for granted the way other little girls do. Even today, there are girls and women with health issues that preclude them from getting pregnant.

Are we who are less than physically perfect supposed to live without love and sex all of our lives? It sure seems so to listen to the forced-birthers.

[MountainLaurel]

15. Among other things

I came from an extended family in which my mom was the only one of her female cousins (save the one who still lives with her mother at age 58) who wasn't pregnant by 16 or 17. All of them married the fathers: In one or two cases, they are still married, happily in at least one pair. The others were divorced within a few years. My mother had always impressed on me the fact that I would go to college and I would finish (her scholarship money ran out her sophomore year, and she was never able to return). There was always an underlying message that I wouldn't be able to do that if I got pregnant.

I attended a fundamentalist Baptist church in my teens and had always had doubts about the absoluteness of their stance. In high school, one night on a bus driving back from a band trip, I overheard one girl mention that one of our classmates, somewhere between acquaintance and friend of mine, was not able to come on the trip because she had to use the money to go to Pittsburgh to have an abortion. At the time, she would have been about 16, dating a 25-year-old man, which was fairly common where I grew up. It made me think about what I'd been taught about women who had abortions.

Meanwhile, I knew other girls who got pregnant. One was a neighbor a year younger than me, whose first pregnancy was by a guy named Snake. In all probability, she was being molested by some combination of brothers and stepbrothers. She wanted an abortion, but her mother wouldn't let her. (One of the older brothers was about to age out of his father's SS death benefits, so the mom wanted the new baby as extra "income.") Another friend kept her child, but it locked her into a three-year abusive relationship in which she was almost killed.

But I think the part that convinced me forever that it was no one's business except for that of the woman was when my best friend got pregnant her freshman year in college. Looking at her and what she was going through, I knew I'd never be able to go through with a pregnancy if I were in her situation.

[bliss_eternal]

16. Powerful...

...thank you for sharing this, Laurel. It just goes to prove how important this issue is, and how varied the backgrounds of people it touches.

:hi:

[Ilsa]

17. I remember when Roe v. Wade made abortion legal.

I had lots of questions.

I had conflicting feelings because I was 14 and Baptist and wasn't sure how it all worked and whether it was really a moral issue or a sex issue. I finally decided it was really a sexuality issue, and that was what was driving the "morality" part of abortion, more than the "life" part. I figured it was probably a good thing, that someday I might need an abortion.

Lives come and go all the time, unfortunately. Natural disaster. War. Violence. Miscarriage. If 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, is God killing those "babies"? Then who? how? Are they really people, or just the start of what becomes a person?

What is the driving force behind the anti-choice movement? Is it people who want babies but not children? Or doesn't want to wait a few years for a baby? An organization that seeks to defeat its competition or enemies by outnumbering them?

The anti-choicers claim abortion messes with women's heads. How do they know they weren't messed up to begin with? How do they know they weren't already clinically depressed, and that is what was driving their sexuality, maybe some carelessness or thrill-seeking with contraception.

The last straw was the pushiness of the anti-choice people. demonstrating, trying to shame women and their doctors and supporters. Ugly, ugly people.

[valerief]

18. Always pro-choice. No reason not to be. Every reason to want that option available.

Abortion means not adding another unwanted baby in the world.

[Katherine Brengle]

19. I am pro-choice because

there is no other option. I believe that women are adult human persons and as such have an innate right to make ALL decisions regarding their bodies and any functions of those bodies.

Also, on a personal level, I was pro-choice before I ever got pregnant, but when I did get pregnant unexpectedly, having the chance to decide if I really wanted to be a mother made a huge difference for me. I know that I am more comfortable being a parent because I was able to choose it freely.

I want every mother to feel that way. And I want every woman to have full bodily sovereignty.

[prole_for_peace]

20. i can't remember not being pro-choice..

ever... even from a very young age pregnancy was a life style choice to me. one i wasn't interested in despite everyone telling me i would change my mind "later". if a person became pregnant and didn't want to be they could end it. when i found out i was pregnant at nineteen i didn't even think about it. i immediately looked in the yellow pages, made an appointment at a clinic in the houston (didn't have one here) and aborted. never agonized about it, never regretted it and don't really think about it much. i just accept it as a right i have like getting a tattoo (actually i took months on that decision) anything else.

[bliss_eternal]

21. Yet another example...

...that proves the arguments of opponents of choice are wrong. How many times have we heard,"....women that have abortions are always traumatized by them, and spend their lives regretting their decision"?

Thank you for sharing your experience, and welcome to our group. :hi:

[lizerdbits]

22. Ugh- change your mind later

I had so many men tell me that when I was in my 20's I just couldn't even get mad anymore. I knew after a few babysitting jobs in high school I was not having kids.

Thankfully you were able to exercise your choice legally and safely.

[smokey nj]

24. Amen!!! People have finally stopped asking us "When are you having kids?"

I wish I had a dime for everytime someone told us we'd change our minds. I had a co-worker (who claimed to be a feminist) tell me that she couldn't imagine a woman not wanting to have child.

[bliss_eternal]

25. I don't know about you...

...but for us, the question started the day after we were married. :eyes: I just don't understand that.

When I was single, it was "when are you going to get married." :eyes:

When I got married, it was "when are you going to have kids" or "you want kids, right?" or some other variation.

When as a woman, is it enough for me to just be "me?" :crazy:

Anyway, we've been married almost ten years and are still childfree.

[smokey nj]

27. Same here. People don't realize how rude they're being when they ask those

questions. As far as I'm concerned, it's just as rude as asking about a person's salary.

[jmm]

23. I've been pro-choice since I first

learned about the issue in Catholic school. I remember getting into an argument with one of my teachers because I mentioned that we don't live in a society that would force a parent to donate blood or bone marrow once a child is born so we shouldn't care more about a fetus and force a woman to devote nine months of her life to it. As I became older it became clearer that the war in choice is a war against women.

[bliss_eternal]

26. Such a perfect way to put it.

Quote:
it became clearer that the war in choice is a war against women.

:hi:

[ismnotwasm]

28. Because pro-choice is the only sane stance.

In my opinion, it's insane to try to force a woman to carry a pregnancy to term. Insane. Literally, and sanity in other areas of life notwithstanding.