I see that headline sitting there, and all I can think is ...
Once upon a time ... well, my memory of the tale heard some 45 years ago is a bit fuzzy, as the memory of those telling it on the net seems to be in many cases, but this one comes close:
http://home.flash.net/~rayearle/Puns.htmlThere once was a young man who had just left the doctors office after learning he was dying. He was understandably very upset by the news. He decided to find out what alternatives to medicine might be available and the very same day headed to the city's main public library to investigate further. Tucked away back in a dusty corner was an obviously old book on unusual facts.
Searching through it, he stumbled across an entry concerning an account of some immortal porpoises living in Central Africa. Deciding on the spot that this was his salvation, he soon was on his way across the ocean to deepest darkest Africa. Hating to fly, he'd booked passage on an outgoing ocean liner. As the ship neared the coast, he spied some sea gulls nurturing their broods along a craggy cliff. He soon thereafter disembarked and after acquiring enough provisions and equipment for an extended trek, headed into the interior in search of the immortal porpoises.
After many days of slogging through interminable jungle, he came upon a clearing and saw what he took to be porpoises swimming within a pool in the center of the clearing. He excitedly rushed up to the pool and asked the porpoises (who amazingly enough could talk and indeed spoke excellent English) for the secret to immortality. One of the porpoises replied that yes they would give him the secret, but he would have to first do something for them. He of course replied with a resounding yes before he even knew what it was. The porpoise continued that they'd had a hankering for some baby sea gulls, which were in obvious short supply in Central Africa, and that they'd give him the secret of immortality if he'd bring them some baby sea gulls. He agreed and remembering where he'd last seem some, but discouraged because he knew it was a long way back, headed back to the coast to get the baby sea gulls.
He finally arrived after days of travel and successfully gathered several of the birds without being pecked to death by the angry parents. After safely enclosing them in some cages he'd brought along, he again headed back to the clearing in the jungle. When he finally arrived at the clearing he was dismayed to find that a pride of lions was lounging around the pool blocking all access to the porpoises and appearing to be in no hurry to move on. Frantically pondering what to do he remembered the tranquilizer gun that he'd brought along. Taking it out and loading it, he calmly tranquilized all the lions.
Elated he took the cages with the young sea gulls and headed toward the porpoises in the pool. Just as he was about to step over the sleeping lions, a game warden stepped out of the jungle and said to him. "Hold on there you can't do that!" "Why not?" said the man. "Because" said the game warden,
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"it's illegal to transport immature gulls across sedated lions for immortal porpoises!"
Suitable sound effects go here.
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