Do you think women would feel "ashamed" or "heartbroken" about abortions

[SemiCharmedQuark]

if they weren't constantly being told that they should feel ashamed or heartbroken about them? I have two aunts that have had abortions. They used to be very pro-choice. But since they've gone back to the church, they have been consumed by guilt about it. Since no guilt existed before, it seems that guilt is not physical as many billboards and ads by anti-choicers seem to claim, but thrust upon women by society.

Is the incidence of shame and self-doubt lower amongst non-religious women than religious women? Is it present at all? I would think not, but then I don't know.

[noamnety]

1. Shame is a learned response.

And society teaches women to respond that way about nearly every aspect of their bodies. I don't know which threads you've been reading on DU lately, but in some of them it's been happening in such a blatant and deliberate way that it's mind boggling.

At the local women's clinic, folks take no chances. They stand in vigils with red tape over their mouths staring at women going for reproductive health care just in case the women entering weren't aware that they should be (publicly) shamed for having a uterus.

I don't know to what extent atheists are immune from that. We all internalize messages from our culture. So even atheists internalize shame over weight, over cellulite, over breasts that are the "wrong" shape, over body hair, etc. I think a lot of women feel shame just going to the gynecologist or for a mammogram, even if they've done nothing but get their normal annual physical.

I guess it's likely to be somewhat lower among atheists, but where there is shame, we can blame a combination of religion and the patriarchy at large. The church (some churches) probably spend more targeted time trying to make people feel like sinners about a whole range of topics, their business kind of depends on that.

[smokey nj]

4. I don't think I could have put it better myself.

[musette_sf]

2. this is why i fervently believe

not only must abortion remain a safe and legal choice, but also that this medical procedure should not be demonized. it is simply an unpleasant medical procedure.

i mean, with all the hoo-ha about stem cells and cell-based research, fundie nuts could also demonize root canal procedures.

"it hurts and is unpleasant! and you are losing your precious cells, DNA, etc etc etc! you must GRIEVE for those lost cells!"

[bliss_eternal]

3. No.

I personally believe it has a lot to do with a person's sense of self.

If one knows who they are and feels good about themselves, they aren't as apt to allow others (society, religion, another person, etc.) to tell them how to feel about their choices in life. If someone doesn't have a strong sense of self, they seem to need someone or something "bigger" to tell them how to think and feel.

Ms. did an issue featuring women that had abortions.
I think some of the women featured practiced various religions (it's been a while since I read it, so it's vague). I don't recall any of the women that shared their experiences expressing guilt, remorse, depression or any of the other feelings that anti-choicers tell women they "should" feel--which was sort of the point of the profile.

(Visit the ms magazine website. They may still have links to the story and profiles of some of the women that shared their abortion experiences. This could give you a better idea and answer to your question.)

[uppityperson]

5. Some would. Women get abortions for all sorts of reasons.

Heartbroken and ashamed are 2 very different things. I have met heartbroken women, who really wanted a child but were unable to care for one at the time.

I don't know about the shame part, shame is learned, so if they hadn't learned to be ashamed, would they be ashamed? There is not just religiously learned shame, but societal also, so would have to deal with that also. Which leads me to wonder how does religious and societal shame interact.

[prole_for_peace]

6. i never felt heartbroken or ashamed.

and i get very mad when the pro-"life" and church groups seem to think i should feel those things about a choice i am extremely grateful i had. i have never felt any emotion but relief.