Privilege: When the powerful claim they are under seige

[Prism]

As a gay man, I spend no minor amount of time doing battle with the Religious Right in this country. I don't march or shout or demonstrate outside churches - though a picket should never be far from reach when necessary. Each of us goes to war in different ways in the LGBT community. Some march, some organize, some scream until they've no words anymore.

I spend time in the often neglected, often underfunded shelters where the LGBT youth of America go when there is no home, no family, and no love for them. You see, their parents have been told that they gave birth to abominations. Their parents were told that their greatest joy must now be their greatest shame. Their parents have been told that if their children cannot be fixed, they must be shunned. These parents listen to churches with billions of dollars that their own children are deviant, abnormal, unfixable, unworthy. They do not deserve jobs, safe housing, a family, a life like any other.

So these children come to me and others. Hungry, broke, desperate. We do our best, but the majority slip away into a life of drugs, exploitation, despair.

Does this anger you? Do you see red when you think about these youths, these children cast off out of society because they were a little different?

Does it gall you to know that the great and powerful forces acting to destroy these lives behave as if they are http://www.aipnews.com/talk/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=10554&posts=1">the real victims? I need not embellish the point with dozens of links. I think, on a liberal message board, many of us are familiar with the Religious Right's propaganda that a powerful cultural force is being victimized by 5% of the population - a percent they are very successful in victimizing, denying rights, and destroying.

Power is not the victim. Power can never be the victim. Power means never explaining, never apologizing, never sympathizing, and never having to care what happens below it.

The most powerful people in America are not aggrieved parties. Supporting unreservedly the most powerful people in America is not an act of courageousness. It is not taking a risk, it is not speaking truth, it is not doing right by citizens. It is not a revolutionary act to apologize for power and to feel as if you are an attacked minority for supporting the system that actually, physically tramples the cultural and economic underclasses with impunity.

The powerful are not under siege in America. The current frame that the President and his unquestioning supporters are being unfairly victimized is as grotesque an inversion of power and truth as Christian conservatives climbing their rhetorical crosses and nailing themselves to it with the cries of minorities for freedom.

Pretending such is a poke in the eye of those youths whose lives are damaged or ruined by the moneyed, the connected, the cultural and political ruling classes.

The President is not the victim. The powerful are not the victim. If you unreservedly support them over minorities, the poor, and the powerless, you are not a victim, you are not aggrieved, you are not under siege.

Claiming such is not only perverse, it is a slap in the face to those whose lives are forever damaged, wrecked, or made hopeless by the most powerful forces in this nation.

Shame on you.

[Trillo]

1. Great and educational phrase!

"Power means never explaining, never apologizing, never sympathizing..."

[ProSense]

2. Who is claiming the powerful are " under siege in America"?

The powerful are not under siege in America. The current frame that the President and his unquestioning supporters are being unfairly victimized is as grotesque an inversion of power and truth as Christian conservatives climbing their rhetorical crosses and nailing themselves to it with the cries of minorities for freedom.

Pretending such is a poke in the eye of those youths whose lives are damaged or ruined by the moneyed, the connected, the cultural and political ruling classes.

The President is not the victim. The powerful are not the victim. If you unreservedly support them over minorities, the poor, and the powerless, you are not a victim, you are not aggrieved, you are not under siege.

Claiming such is not only perverse, it is a slap in the face to those whose lives are forever damaged, wrecked, or made hopeless by the most powerful forces in this nation.

Shame on you.

Here is what you don't seem to understand: No one is supporting the President over "over minorities, the poor, and the powerless." In fact, you assume that the President does not have supporters who are among these groups.

Accept it, people who support the President are not the evil GOP, they are Democrats whose opinion you don't share or refuse to understand (as this OP demonstrates).

[Prism]

3. Au contraire

All one need to do to see my point is study the treatment of LGBTers over the past year by this administration and the people who have defended its actions on our issues.

The unfeeling cruelty and the characterization that it is the President who must be protected at all costs rather than a second class minority somberly illustrates the situation.

[ProSense]

19. This argument is still a strawman

"The unfeeling cruelty and the characterization that it is the President who must be protected"

No one is arguing that, and for every group you cite, the President has supporters among them. You are simply arguing that because people don't share your views of the administration, they are unfeeling and cruel.

That's complete nonsense.

[Prism]

34. When someone's behavior and opinions are distilled . . .

. . . and they amounts to "LGBTers are always wrong," what would one term it?

[HughMoran]

4. "If you unreservedly support them over minorities, the poor, and the powerless"

While I sympathized with your post up until these words, I have to state the the gist of your post is insulting to the intelligence of every DUer. Shame on you.

[Prism]

5. It's no bother

Seeing how LGBTers are treated on their issues by various people, I stand by my words just fine. Why should I feel shame for speaking up against the defenders of power in favor of those who are harmed by their actions?

You're committing that inversion thing I spoke of above.

[HughMoran]

6. Inversion thing? You mean seeing EITHER/OR thinking when talking about DUers?

Name a single person that supports only politicians to the exclusion of poor people, or gay people's issues etc. It's a ridiculous concept that could only be put forth in anger.

[Prism]

7. Can't

It'd be a call out. But if you're inclined - and I'm guessing you are not - you could do a search limited to GDP, read all the major threads on LGBT issues, and find more than a few people who took the President's side over LGBTers no matter what the situation. The equation was always the same "President, good. LGBTers, bad."

It was a theme during late spring and early summer, actually. It would be very difficult to miss. You'd more or less have to expend effort to ensure not seeing it.

[omega minimo]

30. You are one of the most articulate voices for your issue on DU

It's a SHAME to see you use your skills and insights in this way, seeking to divide, rather than draw together. Hinting at a "call out," OPing in a way that obscures who you are scolding (on DU?). Even going so far as to refer back to other threads and other times, trying to continue old arguments that are alluded to, as if they represent a "theme" that you'd "more or less have to expend effort to ensure not seeing it."

If you could look at your OP and comments through the prism of combined effort, you'd see that your attitudes and resentments are very self-entitled and contain the very sort of "inversion" that you protest.

There are some other articulate voices that seem to be deliberate troublemakers. Yours is one that always seems to have potential to reach out a hand rather than deliver a slap.

[Prism]

35. I wasn't hinting, really

I think the address on this linguistic package was written in sharpie.

There is no inversion possible in my remarks, because they are directed at the "haves" taking stock, looking at the power balance in this country, and perhaps understanding that their sympathy is misdirected towards the powerful rather than the have-nots. Right now, we're experiencing an avalanche of self-pitying posing about how the President of the United States is some kind of victim and supporting the most powerful man in the world is a kind of revolutionary act of great courage.

This is a flatly absurd frame, and it's grown far too tiresome and far too common.

And it tends to come, almost unrelentingly, from voices that enjoy far more privileges than the ones getting the scores of lectures.

There are times when reaching out helps, but at least on this board, with a very specific breed, that time is long past. That determination came over the summer when the LGBT community was told in no uncertain terms "It doesn't matter what you say, you're always in the wrong."

It's really quite enough now. If we're going to play at martyrdom, I'm going to want to see some actual material harm occurring before being easy with the label.

[Starry Messenger]

8. Excellent post.

I guess the Dems were out of "power" so long, there are people who are still fighting like they are the underdog in this country. Now that the Dems are on top of the establishment there is still a siege mentality among the victors. Weird.

[Prism]

9. It is sort of amazing

How can the most powerful man in the world and politicians who control all levers of the most powerful government on earth be the real victims deserving of defense over everyone else?

[Starry Messenger]

10. *cough*

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm#Wannabe

a) Denial: the bully denies everything. Variations include Trivialization ("This is so trivial it's not worth talking about...") and the Fresh Start tactic ("I don't know why you're so intent on dwelling on the past" and "Look, what's past is past, I'll overlook your behaviour and we'll start afresh") - this is an abdication of responsibility by the bully and an attempt to divert and distract attention by using false conciliation. Imagine if this line of defence were available to all criminals ("Look I know I've just murdered 12 people but that's all in the past, we can't change the past, let's put it behind us, concentrate on the future so we can all get on with our lives" - this would do wonders for prison overcrowding).

b) Retaliation: the bully counterattacks. The bully quickly and seamlessly follows the denial with an aggressive counter-attack of counter-criticism or counter-allegation, often based on distortion or fabrication. Lying, deception, duplicity, hypocrisy and blame are the hallmarks of this stage. The purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour. Often the target is tempted - or coerced - into giving another long explanation to prove the bully's allegation false; by the time the explanation is complete, everybody has forgotten the original question.

Both a) and b) are delivered with aggression in the guise of assertiveness; in fact there is no assertiveness (which is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others) at all. Note that explanation - of the original question - is conspicuous by its absence.

c) Feigning victimhood: in the unlikely event of denial and counter-attack being insufficient, the bully feigns victimhood or feigns persecution by manipulating people through their emotions, especially guilt. This commonly takes the form of bursting into tears, which most people cannot handle. Variations include indulgent self-pity, feigning indignation, pretending to be "devastated", claiming they're the one being bullied or harassed, claiming to be "deeply offended", melodrama, martyrdom ("If it wasn't for me...") and a poor-me drama ("You don't know how hard it is for me ... blah blah blah ..." and "I'm the one who always has to...", "You think you're having a hard time ...", "I'm the one being bullied..."). Other tactics include manipulating people's perceptions to portray themselves as the injured party and the target as the villain of the piece. Or presenting as a false victim. Sometimes the bully will suddenly claim to be suffering "stress" and go off on long-term sick leave, although no-one can quite establish why. Alleged ill-health can also be a useful vehicle for gaining attention and sympathy. For suggestions on how to counter this see the advice on the FAQ page.

[ruggerson]

15. I might add

a few of them curiously sport rainbow avatars, but when there is a thread calling truth to power on these issues, these same rainbowed avatared people are no where to be found.

[Starry Messenger]

17. I remember QC mentioned that as well once.

He said the rainbow flag avatar for some was like a "Save the Whales" bumper sticker on an SUV. I'm probably misremembering but I think that was the gist.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

23. Yep.

See this exchange. Simply amazing:

Poor Obama the lonely warrior.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=385x418363#418488

[NavyMom]

24. Damn, stop whining although you feel LGBT issues should be at

the top of the President's agenda is stupid and frankly selfish. If this country was not in such a disarray then maybe LGBT would be moved to the top but not to sound selfish what he is working on now trumps your pity party.

Before you start just let me note my nephew along with his husband lives with me, I was a surrogate for them and currently have their children on my insurance because one of them became sick shortly after his birth. I had to fight my HR dept for months to make them cover these children, luckily we used my eggs so my argument was these are my children so they should be covered.

People do support LGBT issues, but as I tell my nephews constantly get your priorities in order then fight or do what you can to improve the lives of any LGBT and this is your way of helping to advance or improve someone's life or give them the strength to fight on.

Less whine, more fight.

[tbyg52]

25. That's your opinion - we're all entitled to one, you know.

>>what he is working on now trumps your pity party.

One person's pity party is another person's civil rights. There's plenty of things he could have done easily that he hasn't.

[ruggerson]

26. Nobody believes LGBT issues should be at the "top" of his agenda

but he is a smart man who can multi-task.

There are enough votes in COngress to overturn DADT.

The President has not yet endorsed the specific bill (Rep. Murphy's bill) which would end this travesty.

He can endorse the bill, throw his weight towards repeal and give Congress the impetus to get it done.

This is a matter of basic human rights. Your characterization of those who push for basic human rights as "whining" tells me more about you than it does the brave servicemen and women who serve under this odious policy.

[polmaven]

49. I need to ask you

if you are really SURE there are enough votes in Congress to overcome DADT. I am not so sure about that. I am not at all sure there would be the 60 votes to overcome an almost guaranteed (R) filibuster. Where are some of the more conservative dems on LGBT issues? Those like Nelson, Landreau, etc.....?

I would HATE to see this play out with all sorts of venom spewed toward LGBT in the Senate. It would almost certainly, I think, lead to more violence against the community.

[Starry Messenger]

27. Where in that post did it say "top of the President's agenda"?

The lack of rights for all citizens is part of the disarray of this country. Movement forward on this is all anyone who cares is asking.

[mitchtv]

29. been fighting all my life, Newby

now it's my turn. Don't like it? TS

[Jamastiene]

33. That sounds like the stuff my mother always told me

to deter me from fighting for my rights because I was "embarrassing her."

And at Christmas this year, she told me Obama was born in Kenya, then ranted about all his special privileges traveling to places "real Americans" could not travel.

[Prism]

36. I'm having trouble believing a word of this.

But, that's just me.

[ruggerson]

46. It's not just you n/t

[Sapphocrat]

43. Damn, stop whining, although you feel...

...the world should come to a stop and actually care about your kid, and your eggs.

It's stupid and frankly selfish. If this country was not in such a disarray then maybe surrogate mothers with sick children would be moved to the top of everyone's agenda. But, gee, sorry, the truth is, plenty of things trump your pity party.

People do support surrogate mothers (and sick children), but as I often ask self-absorbed straight people of privilege who think they have it soooo rough: What rights have you lost lately?

Meanwhile, LGBTs have all the same problems you or any other hetero has -- we have kids, they get sick, we get sick, we die -- and, yes, when you cut us, we even bleed! -- but while we deal with all the same shit you do, we have to do it all without legal protection.

So, "NavyMom":

Less pissing on other people, more compassion.

[NMMNG]

45. Why is it

that every time someone posts something pertaining to LGBT rights here on DU, there is guaranteed to be at least one person who feels compelled to call us "whiners" and play the Oppression Olympics?

[Laughing Mirror]

48. Yes, get those priorities in order by all means

And it also strikes me that a society that compels a gay couple to have to rely on the kindness of an ovary-donor aunt just to ensure the couple's children some level of health care, is a society that desperately needs to reorder its own priorities rather than shift the burden of doing so onto the aggrieved parties, as the OP points out.

It sounds strange when a person who supports LGBT tells us to fight and at the same time less noise for being forced to ride this train in the second-class cabin when we pay for first class.

Not to sound selfish of course.

[tbyg52]

11. Thank you.

http://tinyurl.com/possibly-of-interest

[bvar22]

12. Don't forget the poor, defenseless Health Insurance Industry.

Thank GOD Obama and the "Centrist" Democrats stepped in to save them from the unfair ravages of a Public Option.

[Prism]

37. I think we should make them some cocoa

Fluff some pillows, build them a cozy fire using the homeless and the sick as fuel.

Tis the season and all that.

[glitch]

13. Extremely well said. K & R

And it is shameful, and not only to the powerless LGBT youth but to all the powerless, from mountain towns in West Virginia to families in Iraq/Afghanistan/Pakistan/Yemen attacked by drones and air strikes, and everyone in between who continue to get stomped on by the laughing power elite and their foot soldiers.

Shameful and ludicrous.

[Prism]

38. Amen n/t

[ruggerson]

14. Bravo

And the deafening silence from those whom your post describes speaks volumes.

[Prism]

18. Yes, well

That was expected, wasn't it?

[omega minimo]

31. Who is it you are trying to shame?

Maybe the OP wasn't clear enough to them? You had to couch it in terms that wouldn't get you in trouble, right? If you are talking about other DUers or expecting their reply? Is it a religious thing? Presidential supporters? Maybe your target audience didn't know they were targeted.

[Jamastiene]

16. K&R

Thank you. Excellent post. :thumbsup:

[enigmatic]

20. Excellent OP

You're the best writer on DU.

K&R.

[Prism]

39. Aw, thanks

I disagree with your estimation, but appreciate the spirit in which it was given :hug:

[zalinda]

21. Wonderful

The issues are what is important. I don't care if it is a dem, a repub or any one else, if they seek to lessen the value of a person, then they are devalued. I have found it unbelievable the amount of scorn that is heaped on those who call out this President to do what's right. I wake up every day feeling so sad and tired of all the hate. I can't understand where the hate comes from. How can so called "Christians" (which includes dems) do the things that those in power do to us. We aren't grabbing for the brass ring, we just want the equal right to pursue happiness. Whether that happiness is loving whom we want to love, getting the education we want to get, getting health care that will make our lives easier or having enough money to put food on the table and a roof over our heads, it doesn't matter, we are human beings and deserve to be treated better. We don't want war, we don't want our children dying in a foreign land killing people who only want to be left alone, so they can live, love and find some happiness in their own lives.

zalinda

[Prism]

40. And right now, it's just conversation

We're a long way from November or 2012. People are angry, upset, disappointed, and venting. It is hardly a time of grave peril for the administration. Meanwhile, millions across this country are, quite literally, fighting for their lives, whether it be health-related, attempting to keep their home, trying to feed their children.

All I ask is for some perspective at a time when power is warping it almost to breaking.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

22. K&R

[ck4829]

28. Bingo, K&R

[704wipes]

32. Oppression CAN NEVER come from below.

I think a poster named Schneider has covered this quite extensively but it is archived by now I imagine.
But I took that from some of his very good posts.

[Prism]

41. I'll try to find them

You're not the first person to mention those posts as must-reading. I'd forgotten about them until you brought them up. Time to hunt them down, I think.

[burning rain]

42. Powerful writing.

k & r

[Sapphocrat]

44. Terribly sorry I'm too late to rec.

So I'll just kick.

Beautiful, Prism, as always. It will fly -- or, rather, has already flown -- right over the heads of the people who need to understand it most. But I know you won't be discouraged; cognitive dissonance can be thicker and more formidable than the Great Wall of China.

[tranche]

47. Actually, Nick Vujicic was dealt a worse card then anyone.