Bush Book Comedy Gold!

[babylonsister]

http://www.boomantribune.com/story/2010/11/8/181414/178

Bush Book Comedy Gold!
by Steven D
Mon Nov 8th, 2010 at 06:14:14 PM EST


Hey, we know Bush didn't write his book, but at least he picked a great comedy ghost writer, one particularly good at satire. Want proof? Just read the following:

A presidential aide, Andrew Card, tells Bush that a second plane has hit. The president looks as though he has been paralysed by shock. For seven minutes he sits there before a group of children, immobile while America was under attack.

But Bush says he was thinking.

"I looked at the faces of the children in front of me. I thought about the contrast between the brutality of the attacks and the innocence of those children. Millions like them would soon be counting on me to protect them. I was determined not to let them down," Bush writes.

Yes, I'll just bet Bush was thinking (thinking? thinking!?) of all those millions of children he had to save. That's why he went into Iraq and started a war that killed and maimed thousands of them (Oh, right. Muslim and Arab kids don't count -- nevermind). Who knew Bush Lite was a secret Superhero in disguise?

I wouldn't recommend actually buying the book, but maybe someone could post the best bits on the internet. We could all use a good laugh these days. Like these, for example:

"There is no textbook on how to steady a nation rattled by a faceless enemy," the former president writes.

"I relied on instincts and background. My west Texas optimism helped me project confidence.

"Occasionally I spoke a little too bluntly, such as when I said I wanted Bin Laden 'dead or alive'," he added.

Bush spoke a little too bluntly? The man is a master of irony (not Bush, his ghost writer). And thank the Lord we don't have to rely on his "instincts" or "West Texas optimism" anymore. I wonder if this little speech of his in 2002 on why we needed to take out Iraq...

Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.

... was based on his native instincts or based on his West Texas optimism? What do you think?

PS. I wonder who in the GOP told Bush not to promote his book until AFTER the midterm elections because no one in the Republican party wanted voters reminded of his Presidency? Want to bet Karl "Turdblossom" Rove drew the short straw?

[DarthDem]

1. West Texas Optimism

FFS. He's from Connecticut.

[Xipe Totec]

2. The Connecticut Cowboy nt

[mnhtnbb]

3. There is a facebook 'event' which is promoting

some fun at bookstores--to move Bushie boy's book into the crime section!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=147126765334135

[greenmutha]

6. This should be an OP.

What an *excellent* idea! :evilgrin:

[Supersedeas]

15. funny...you have to wonder if Tucker Carlson would laugh too?

[Whisp]

16. hahahaha!!!

:rofl:

hope that idea takes off like a rocket!

[arcane1]

4. He wrote it in the 3rd person?

:shrug:

[subterranean]

5. Are they less optimistic in East Texas?

:shrug:

[DavidDvorkin]

7. Yes

I lived in Houston for four years, and a lot of my friends were very depressed and pessimistic because they were in Texas.

[la la]

8. remember the Dixie Chicks! ;>)) n/t

[DavidDvorkin]

11. I also worked with a native Texan

who insisted that he would never leave Texas because there was no reason to. Texas had everything that the rest of the world had. Besides, he had been to Arkansas and Colorado and knew that they had nothing to offer that Texas didn't.

[NYC Liberal]

9. His reaction on 9/11 could have been used in that "Oops I Crapped My Pants"

commercial/skit from SNL. That whole scene was probably the strangest thing in his entire presidency. He just sat there, he had NO idea what to do so he just kept reading as if he was trying to put off actually having to do something for as long as he could.

At that point the casualty estimates were in the tens of thousands, I remember at one point during the day they went as high as 50,000. A competent president would have told the kids that he was very sorry but that he had some important "Presidential business" to take care of, gone and gotten fully briefed on what had happened, called people who needed to be called, and given any necessary orders, before going back out and giving the statement he eventually made. Potentially tens of thousands of dead people in the streets of your country's cities is more important than not disappointing schoolkids, who I am sure were much more mature than he ever was or will be.

NOW, 8 years later, it's easy for him to make up some bullshit that the look on his face wasn't really his 'deer in the headlights' look, but his "serious, somber, Presidentin' look," and that he really did know what he was doing, he just didn't want to scare the kids.

[hedgehog]

10. He was trying to figure out if the frequent flyer miles he was

going to rack up that day would be transferable once he left office.

[tanyev]

12. OK...but all the time it took you to "think" were many minutes wasted

when every second counted. Asshat.

[Fly by night]

13. Selfishness and self-centeredness is STILL the root of Bush's problem ...

... as it is with most practicing alcoholics.

OK, in Dim Son's case, an IQ that would fit in a shot glass doesn't help much either.

I doubt if Bush will hold any public readings (or signings) of his book in this country. It would be embarrassing for him to stumble over the big words in "his" book, and it would be embarrassing for sober alcoholics to show up and challenge his "talking the talk".

A bigger loser and moran, this country has never produced.

K&R

[Supersedeas]

14. I bet he doesn't address his repeated assertion about the first plane--so stunning

it is part of my signature line. The video coverage of the first plane strike was not available until several days after 9/11....and yet, he repeated this lie well into December of 2001.

See towards the bottom in response to a young questioner named Jordan:
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0112/04/se.04.html