5 Ways to Deal With Conservative Relatives on Thanksgiving

[proud2BlibKansan]

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1. Brush up on Obama conspiracy theories. There’s a good chance you’ll need to defend the president against some of the more outrageous claims being circulated by Fox News--especially the claim that he hasn’t done anything useful for the country. Now, if your relatives are of the “Obama is a Marxist, Satanist, Islamic fundamentalist who wants to put our children in re-education camps” persuasion, you should probably just invest in a hip flask or three and plan on getting out of there ASAP. But assuming you’re dining with nominally reasonable human beings, you should brush up on what the heck Obama has done so far. Conveniently, you can gather some key facts and stats at the Web site What the Heck Has Obama Done So Far (or its raunchier cousin, if that’s more your style). “Yes, cousin Billy, Obama does support our troops; he’s helped provide crucial services like transportation for families of fallen soldiers to Dover air base and counseling for veterans,” you might say. And don’t forget to remember credible sources in case they don’t believe you.

2. Point out the infighting on the Right--and keep yourself out of it. Aunt Daisy’s a big fan of that “spitfire” Sarah Palin, huh? Perhaps just mention that Susan Collins, Aunt Daisy’s very own Republican senator from Maine, thinks Palin is a joke; for the rest of the country, there’s former First Lady Barbara Bush’s recent zinger about how Palin is best left in Alaska. You could go on and on this way: GOP Sen. Richard Lugar thinks Republican stalling on the START treaty is disgraceful, former Republican Rep. Sherwood Boehlert is appalled by all the climate-change denial in the incoming Congressional class. Whatever the issue, there is probably some Republican infighting going on that could test your relatives’ allegiance to party members (just watch your stepmom squirm as she has to choose between supporting Karl Rove or Sarah Palin). Just make sure you stay out of the fray. Sample script: “I’m not saying anything myself, but I think it’s really interesting what X Republican senator had something so trenchant to say about Y Republican darling. What was that all about?”



3. Bring up the Koch brothers. AlterNet’s Adele Stan wrote an article last month about the massive quantities of corporate dollars flowing into the Tea Party movement and funding its activities. As Stan points out, “Though billed as a people's movement, the Tea Party wouldn't exist without a gusher of cash from oil billionaire David H. Koch and the vast media empire of Rupert Murdoch. Many of the small donations to Tea Party candidates have been cultivated by either Fox News Channel, a property of Murdoch's News Corporation, or the Americans for Prosperity Foundation, chaired by Koch. The movement's major organizations are all run, not by first-time, mad-as-hell activists, but by former GOP officials or operatives.” Read the article, memorize its facts, and be ready to blithely drop them into conversation whenever someone mentions the “authentic,” “grassroots” anger of the Tea Partiers. Your relatives might also take offense to the Kochs having sponsored “elitist,” liberal, Northeasterny things like the New York City Ballet; if so, mention freely.



4. Talk TSA gropings. If there’s one issue that pretty much the entire country, conservatives and liberals alike, can agree on, it’s the absurdity of the TSA’s invasive body scanners and “enhanced pat-downs.” Diffuse any tension that may have erupted over dinner (while subtly spreading radical ideas) by inviting everyone to share their TSA horror stories: “What’s the worst airport security experience you’ve ever had?” No one wants to be groped or manhandled, even if we disagree on how to best handle terrorism threats. If you feel safe upping the ante, point out: “We allowed torture and rendition in the name of keeping us safe from terrorists, and no one spoke up, so this latest incarnation of TSA security theater was an inevitability.”

more . . . http://www.alternet.org/story/148958/5_ways_to_deal_with_your_conservative_relatives_this_thanksgiving

[Tansy_Gold]

1. #1 best way

STAY HOME

:evilgrin:



Tansy Gold, who will be spending Thanksgiving with four beloved family members who never fail to express their love and affection and gratitude and democratic socialist politics.

[NRaleighLiberal]

5. Bingo!

That's just what my wife and I are doing....it would be a disaster to share a holiday meal with my right wing brother and ultra right wing wife in Florida - it would be civil for the appetizer, but we'd be using the main course as projectiles once we hit the inevitable!!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

:hi:

[cherokeeprogressive]

2. Oh how I thank my lucky stars my family and friends aren't like those some people here

deal with.

There will be nothing but eating, drinking, merriment, and rooting against the Cowboys and Lions here tomorrow, and for the rest of the weekend. And there will be 16 of us, family and friend alike. Some will leave Friday, some will go home Sunday. I can't fucking wait.

Barack Who? Talk to me about it Monday, when everyone's gone.

[abelenkpe]

3. I'm just avoiding the tea partying libertarian relatives altogether

Cause they are nuts. Still think the pres doesn't have a birth certificate and is a Kenyan Muslim Socialist Fascist blah blah blah. there's no reasoning with them so why bother?

Really? Maybe it's just my family? Are there actually reasonable conservatives out there?

I blame FOX news.

[tabbycat31]

4. minimize contact

I have to deal with my conservative BIL and sister tomorrow and I have no choice but to go. I told my mom I would get there 15 minutes before dinner and leave 15 minutes after. If that does not give her a hint that I don't want to deal with them at holidays, I have no idea what will.

[Zoeisright]

6. Excellent ideas. But one problem.

Any kind of documentation about facts means nothing to these people. They just dismiss facts and reality they don't agree with, rather than do the complicated work of changing their views. I mean, these people literally have rocks in their heads.

[treestar]

7. Have a set of topics ready

direct the conversation away from politics.

That can work. Have everyone say what they are thankful for. If there are enough people there that takes up the whole time. Unless you have a right winger wacko enough to say he is thankful for Sarah Palin. :evilgrin:

[Telly Savalas]

10. Bingo.

Crossfire is a stupid TV show and turning my Thanksgiving dinner into a mini-version of it is pretty far from my idea of a good time.

[RBInMaine]

8. Look right at your "conservative" relatives and say, "Well, you are socialists, and you know it." :

When they start to turn red you say, "Tell me, how many of you went to public school and college? How many of you served in the public military, the most socialist organization we have? How many of you like your liberal VA benefits? How many of you like your socialist Social Security and Medicare benefits? How many of you enjoy your liberal local parks and recreation departments? How many of you enjoyed your public schools' sports programs? How many of you like your socialist public safety services like cops and firemen? How many of you have visited a socialist state or national park and enjoyed it? How many of you like to walk on socialist sidewalks? How many of you like your very liberal public water treatment and sewer plants and sanitation services? How many of you drove here today on socialist roads and across socialist bridges? How many of you are for shutting all these down? If so, please call your conservative representatives and advise them to eliminate all of these. Better yet, start a neighborhood movement to eliminate all of your public programs and services, such as fire and police protection, snowplowing, and the high school football team. If you aren't prepared to do these things, then accept you are liberal socialists like everyone else, and enjoy your turkey which was probably raised on a farm with the help of government subsidies."

[craigmatic]

11. Damn nice post.

[harun]

13. +1

[ejpoeta]

9. i avoid political discussions with my family. period. if they start in on it i will just say

whatever you say. glen beck knows everything. and walk away. we usually segment off anyway. there is the ncr wing where my husband my brother and my BIL go and i hang out in the kitchen with my sisters and SIL.

[Jennicut]

21. I try to avoid it with my conservative parents all the time. I don't think they will ever change.

And I sure as hell am not becoming any less liberal. All this arguing is pointless in my opinion. It is like arguing with a door. Or a table as Barney Frank once said. It is a waste of my breath as they have been conservatives since before I was born and I am almost 35.

[TheBigotBasher]

12. Tell them they can not have any food

because sharing is socialist?

[olegramps]

14. I don't break bread with the enemy. So, I will skip the talking points.

[leftygolfer]

20. Nice!

I quit talking to my brother after his comments about the President at last year's Thanksgiving. We've now gone over a year without speaking. Funny how I seem happier.

[era veteran]

15. I outlived my crazies.

Don't recommend this but it works well.

[Ikonoklast]

16. I thank the Powers That be that I don't have anyone like that in my family.

My eighty-one year-old former Marine Korean War vet Dad: "These politicians that never served their country should be ashamed of themselves for what they did to the military, and anyone that says Obama isn't an American are just racist assholes."

My Mom, also eighty-one, when Sarah Palin is on the news, "God that woman is loony. If my family was as messed up as hers is, I'd be ashamed to go out in public."

[JoePhilly]

17. I have 2 very good ways to deal with them .....

1) As someone already said, these folks are crazy, and so coming back at them with lots of FACTS is a waste of time. To them, facts are irrelevant. So a better approach is do what I call a "Colbert" ... take any thing they say and extend it even further.

Ask them if they've heard about the work camps that Obama set up all along the gulf coast.

You can interject facts into this approach, just make sure to bash Obama in the process ... here's one I plan to use .... "I heard Glen Beck make an excellent point about how much Obama hates business, and that's why the DOW has only gone from 7500 to 11,100 since Obama took office, Glenn showed how it should be at about 1 million by now."

But the best things are to focus on are the conspiracy theories ... really pump the insane stuff.

2) This one is works if you are going to a right wing house for Thanksgiving. You make a tin foil hat. And you compose a letter from Glen Beck to the person at the house. In the letter, have Glen thank them for being one of the "real Americans" and that he has sent them some protection from the evil forces in our government. You put those in a box, and wrap it in brown shipping paper. You put the person's address on the box, and for a return address, you put Fox News's address. Create a fake postage mark in the upper right corner. Then you take this to the house of the person, but you do not take it in. Instead, you leave it outside the front door so that some one else finds it and brings it in. Then, play dumb.

The 2nd one also works at Christmas, just use real postage :evilgrin:

[old mark]

18. We don't associate with our conservative relatives very often - not after

they started talking about "the dirty Jews" when we were at their house several years ago...my Jewish wife and I left and have not seen them since.
Won't ever go there again.


mark

[ZombieHorde]

19. Or you could have fun trying to out crazy them.

If they say President Obama is a Marxist, tell them atheists removed Obama's brain, and replaced it with Marx's brain, in order to help usher in the anti-Christ.

If they mention the death panels, tell them that is just a smoke screen to cover the UN's mandatory gay sex panels, only those who are straight are subject to execution.

Just try to combine two opposites, atheist + religious prophesy, UN + gay tolerance, etc.