New Shocking Details of Senate Healthcare Plan Revealed!

[Better Believe It]

Senate Unveils CompromiseCare
Details of Healthcare Plan Revealed
The Borowitz Report
December 17, 2009


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The United States Senate today unveiled details of its health care plan, tentatively called CompromiseCareTM:

-- Under CompromiseCareTM, people with no coverage will be allowed to keep their current plan.

-- Medicare will be extended to 55-year-olds as soon as they turn 65.

-- You will have access to cheap Canadian drugs if you live in Canada.

-- States whose names contain vowels will be allowed to opt out of the plan.

-- You get to choose which doctor you cannot afford to see.

-- You will not have to be pre-certified to qualify for cremation.

-- A patient will be considered "pre-existing" if he or she already exists.

-- You'll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel.

-- Patients can access quality health care if they can prove their name is "Lieberman."

-- You will have access to natural remedies, such as death.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=7083

[valerief]

1. Borowitz hits the nail on the head! nt

[Better Believe It]

2. That would be better than nothing. Right?

[hayu_lol]

4. Thanks, I really needed this...

probably hits the proverbial nail squarely on the head. Too bad we can't hit a few of our glorious leaders the same way.

[valerief]

5. Well, if we're laughing, the nail's not in the coffin yet. nt

[kenny blankenship]

3. Healthcare plan details leaked by Senate staffer!

Get the dope on this healthcare reform
http://tinyurl.com/y8ufsnp

[backscatter712]

6. Or as Conan O'Brian put it...

This plan isn't perfect - it'll cover everything except doctor's visits and hospital stays...

[FormerDittoHead]

7. Don't forget! These benefits will be available to 30 million more Americans too!

:sarcasm:

[Better Believe It]

9. If if they refuse to pay the insurance company bloated premiums they'll be fined!

You'll pay for the no benfits, high premiums policies and learn to love it!

[demwing]

8. But it will pass

why do you hate Obama so much?

:sarcasm:

[gaysonf]

10. great post

dems sold us out