The Republican Debate: Night of the Talking Point Zombies

[hvn_nbr_2]

Surprisingly, I made it through the whole thing. I didn't puke and didn't even wretch much. I think it was easy because nobody said anything but talking points, and they only said their talking points in ways designed to not offend too much. So here's my report.

The Main Characters
-------------------
The Patriot Secessionist
The Bain Job Killer
Crazy Eyes
Man-on-Dog
The Godfather
The Anarchist Who Would Be King
One-Man One-Wife One-Mistress-at-a-time
The Irrelevant Sane Person
(I don't think I forgot anyone.)

The Auxiliary Characters
------------------------
The Ghouly Chorus
The Enablers, directing the concerto of talking points

The Transcript
--------------
Here is a paraphrased transcript of the concerto:

Secessionist: Gummint evil. I'm the jobs wizard.

Job Killer: No, you're not. I am. Gummint evil.

Secessionist: Yes, I am. No, you're not. Gummint evil.

Job Killer: I'm talking so fast because I want to get in every talking point. Gummint evil.

Enabler: You executed more than anybody.
Ghouly Chorus: (wild applause)

Secessionist: Gummint evil, except when we execute poor black people.

One-Mistress-at-a-time: Hey, I'm relevant. Gummint evil.

The Godfather: Trillions to billionaires and we'll have utopia. Gummint evil.

Crazy Eyes: Immigrants should learn American history. Hell, I should learn American history. (She didn't really say that last sentence, but any informed person thought it.) Gummint evil.

Anarchist: How 'bout that Galveston hurricane? Wasn't that great? Let Texas burn. Gummint evil.

Secessionist: Gummint evil. Hey, Obama, send help.

Man-on-Dog: (If he said anything, I don't remember it.)

Irrelevant Sane Person: Somebody here ought to say something sane.

Secessionist: I sorta kinda believe in Galileo. Gummint evil.
Ghouly Chorus: (sulks, contemplating sun circling flat earth)

Crazy Eyes: I'm trying really hard to control my eyes. Gummint evil.

Secessionist: Social Security evil. Long live Social Security. Death to Social Security. Gummint evil.

All in unison: Amen. Gummint evil.

Enabler: Thank you all. That ends the concerto.

Questions left unasked by the Enablers:
How's that 75% cut in firefighting working out for ya?
Why do you refer to people who send jobs to China as "job creators"?
Oh, WTF, there are too many unasked questions and too many obvious follow-ups to even bother trying to list them.

[Lost-in-FL]

1. BRAVO!!!!1!!!!1

:applause:

[MrsCorleone]

2. Lol!

:rofl: