Dear Republican Party

[ProSense]

Dear Republican Party

by Hunter

Republicans: We need to talk.

I know you and I don't see eye to eye on many things. We hang out with different crowds, we listen to different music, we have different interpretations of pretty much every event that has ever happened from the Big Bang onwards—but I'm worried about you. We, the whole of non-Republican America, are worried about you. Heck, I even know people in other countries that are worried about you.

You can be forgiven for Sarah Palin. I know that was mostly McCain's fault, and you didn't have a lot of say in that. His staff looked around for someone who they thought could better appeal to the base, and that's who they came up with. You should have been insulted by that, but I'll at least grant that it wasn't your decision to make, it was his.

But that was 2008, and this is 2012. And the decisions you've been making this time around are entirely up to you, and, well ... let's just say that most of the rest of us are pretty disappointed in you right now.

Your first serious non-Palin flirtation of this election cycle was with Michele Bachmann. Really? You could choose from among the ranks of the entire conservative movement, and you said "yeah, Michele Bachmann, I guess." I don't mean to be cruel, but that's when most of us realized that this little ideological obsession of yours had turned into a full-fledged, self-destructive addiction. You'd gone and cracked, right then and there. I realize that you have to work with the candidates that present themselves, and not the ones you'd actually choose on your own, but Michele Bachmann was already known far and wide as, well, a crazy person. She's Palin, after Palin drank an entire bottle of whiskey and drove her car into the side of a DMV office. She doesn't have political beliefs so much as she has spasms; everything she disagrees with is elevated to the level of America-killing communist apocalypse. There's no volume control on that knob. Her sole area of expertise is in the area of hand-waving panic over things she knows nothing about: Ask her for the barest details and she's dumb as a post.

So fine, that was the first one. First loves are often not well-planned things, though; there's some leeway there. Let's look at the rest of your candidates.

more

[demtenjeep]

1. you can't argue with the stupid

"Gordon Levy
Michele Bachmann will be the next President of the United States. She is our answer to Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meyer. And another prediction: both houses of Congress will be GOP-controlled. A balanced budget will result. And the squawkers (OWS etc) will be DOA. Any questions? Dismissed."

this was on MSNBC's comment page about a Herman Cain story. You just can't argue with stupid.

[mwb970]

10. What happened to the "Palin will run and win" crowd?

Every comment thread on any political topic was, until recently, filled with right-wing comments about how liberals are "terrified" of Palin and how easy it will be for her to win the presidency once she declared.

Now that she has quit the race (couldn't see THAT coming), these comments have completely disappeared, only to be replaced by right-wing comments about how liberals are "terrified" of Perry (or Bachmann, or Cain) and how easy it will be for one of them to win the presidency.

What kind of people ARE these? What goes on in whatever they have where the rest of us have minds?

:shrug:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. One of the funniest (and truest) analyses of the GOP I've read in a long time.

"If Bachmann became president I give it exactly three months before we're using human ears as a form of currency."

:rofl:

[Mz Pip]

3. That was the best

analysis of the state of GOP politics that I've read in a long long time, too.

Long but it's worth reading every word of it.

[great white snark]

4. Holt crap, what a great read ProSense.

:rofl:

Thanks for posting.

[socialindependocrat]

5. Very well done!!

[babylonsister]

6. Recommend! An excellent read, and so true. nt

[opihimoimoi]

7. GOPers??? Its Hopeless....give it up...join the Progressives for sweeter life

The PUB Party is gonna die soon enough ...

Its Social Evolution...good Ideas last....bad ones die...

The GOPer Party has TURNED NASTY and should be an Evolutionary Dead End

[applegrove]

8. That was quite a rid. Thanks for posting.

[mwb970]

9. Great read!

It says what I am thinking as I watch the republican circus with a mix of amazement and despair. I would never have imagined that people calling themselves "Americans" (and "Christians", and "human beings") could speak and act with such idiocy and evil, so opposite to their self-descriptions.

Conservatism is clearly a mental illness, and should be diagnosed and treated as such.

[ProSense]

11. Newtmentum!!!

CNN Poll Confirms Newtmentum (TPM)

John Lithgow Performs Gingrich Press Release

The next Republican front runner?

:rofl:

[JNelson6563]

12. Long read, great fun!

Loved every bit of it.

Julie