Best seller bedtime story: Go the F**K to sleep

[Liberal_in_LA]

Bedtime story: Go the bleep to sleep

CNN) -- Adam Mansbach's toddler wasn't thirsty. She wasn't hungry. And she definitely didn't need Dad to make up another story about farm animals having a picnic and dozing off. The possibility that he would never get to leave her room for dinner or a glass of wine or the world outside became a distinct possibility.

The noted author didn't keep his feelings to himself. Instead, he turned his frustration into writing "Go the F**k to Sleep," a tongue-in-cheek adult bedtime book that has swept the Internet and has already hit No.1 on the Amazon bestseller list a month before its June 14 publication date. Illustrator Ricardo Cortés captures the colorful mood of Mansbach's poetry.

The cubs and the lions are snoring,
Wrapped in a big snuggly heap.
How come you can do all this other great sh*t
But you can't lie the f**k down and sleep?

"I laughed and laughed and laughed," said Colleen Oppenzato, a Brooklyn mother of a 3-year-old boy who fights sleep every night and a 1-year-old girl who doesn't. "I thought it was my life. Every single page, you're like 'yes, yes.' You don't need water, you don't need to go to the bathroom. You just don't want to sleep."

http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/05/13/go.the.f--k.to.sleep/index.html?hpt=Sbin

[ZombieHorde]

1. Funny. nt

[kedrys]

2. F^$king BRILLIANT!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[intheflow]

3. "The movie rights have been sold to Fox 2000."

:wtf:

[bullwinkle428]

4. I think I need to send this to my brother and sister-in-law! They spend

a good 45 minutes a night with each of their two kids, with a bedtime story routine for them. Insane!

[Matariki]

5. This is brilliant

for a brief bit of time the whole book was up on facebook. It's wonderfully funny.

[Dappleganger]

6. I saw the pdf and have pre-ordered it.

That kind of humor IS the dappleganger family.

[catnhatnh]

7. Okay...This fires up MY bedtime story....

3 kids, four years old two and one...Mom works nights and I put them to bed after a full factory shift. The oldest (a boy I'll call "Ben" because thats his name) chronically finds an excuse not to fall asleep. Some nights it's spooky in his room and other times he hears noises...But on this night after several other problems he yells down the stairs "Dad, my peter hurts!" I tell him I've had enough and that if he doesn't go to sleep that "more than your peter is going to hurt"...

But he persists...So eventually I go upstairs and actually check "his peter" and there on the tip of his penis is a tick well burrowed in.

Now our family physician was quite an old fellow and actually answered a 9pm call to his GP office. When I described the problem and told him I couldn't bring Ben in since I had two other children and my wife had the car. My doctor who has personally done some fairly complex sewing on my two brothers and I in his office during our youth offers to lead me through a procedure on the phone...

"Have you got any forceps?"..."not really" "How about a good pair of tweezers?"..."nope" "Well how about a good pair of needle nose pliers?" "Yep-those I've got!"

The rest was fairly simple, involving petroleum jelly, patience, and the infinite faith of a 4 year old in his dad.

So I guess the laugh line is this-sometimes the night terrors are real-but that a child's faith can be infinite in their parents, because nothing else can explain why Ben didn't scream the night dad came for his penis with the needle nose.

[PDittie]

8. LMAO

[Fumesucker]

9. Great story..

Thanks for posting, I got a good laugh.