Rapture excuses
RegieRocker
(1000+ posts)
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Sat May-21-11 09:02 AM
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1. I intended to pay what I owe you but I have been raptured. 2. Sorry for missing my appointment with you but I have been raptured. 3. I apologize for my grass being uncut but I was raptured. 4. I no longer exist as my previous self and now exist as someone else due to the fact a mistake was made. I was rejected and sent back as a new person. I may look the same but I am not same person as I was, therefore I am no longer responsible for what my previous self did. 5. It is a long journey to heaven and wasn't in good enough health to make the trip. 6. Jesus is still coming, he will make it, just running late. 7. I didn't have enough riches in heaven to pay for the trip. 8. I was in the basement and Jesus couldn't find me. 9. I was driving my car and couldn't be taken for safety reasons. 10. I was having sex experiencing my own rapture (can't have two raptures at the same time).
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