Official (but funny) Madison, Wis., police report of raptured citizens

[Newsjock]

This is a government document and, therefore, can be reproduced in its entirety.
http://www.cityofmadison.com/incidentReports/incidentDetail.cfm?id=12134

Incident report for Case#2011-136519
Released 05/26/2011 at 12:06 PM by PIO Joel DeSpain
Last updated 05/26/2011 at 2:22 PM by PIO Joel DeSpain
Incident Type: Check Property
Incident Date: 05/22/2011 - 4:34 PM
Address: Olin Turville Park
Details:

The officer approached the scene cautiously. As well he should have, after all this was Sunday afternoon, the 22nd of May, in the year 2011, the day after the predicted Rapture. There had been no horrible earthquake, and it did not appear - as the sun rose again Sunday - that Armageddon was upon us.

Still, this “check property” call to which the officer had been dispatched seemed strange. A concerned citizen made the initial discovery: it was on the tallest hill of Olin Turville park. There, in a small clearing, beneath a canopy of towering oaks, were multiple “sets of clothes.” Not just any clothes, but clothes that appeared to be burned.

Was it not part of the Rapture prognostication, that on worldwide judgment day, Jesus would take believers to heaven?

Around 4:30 p.m., the officer advised dispatch that he was on scene and “commencing my investigation.” In his report, he writes: “I had originally thought that the burned clothes may have been a scorned lover affecting revenge on a party they deemed had wronged them, but it quickly became apparent that this did not appear to be the case.”

Indeed. There were some 30 sets of clothes. You could almost make out the figures that once wore them. Men’s clothes, women’s clothes, complete with undergarments and shoes. It was if people had been on their backs and vanished in their birthday suites, leaving all material possessions behind. There were wrist watches where arms should have been, and sets of keys in pockets.

“I observed that … all outfits … were perfectly laid out as if the people wearing them had met with some sort of forceful and immediate action,” wrote the responding officer. He also noted all clothing “had varying levels of what appeared to be burns or melting as if exposed to some sort of intense heat source.”

More mystifying was the fact that the material goods were spread out, in circular fashion, around a black cylinder which was emitting a strobe-type white light toward the skies. “I cautiously examined the Beacon of Light closer and determined that it had been constructed out of a 5-gallon pail and what appeared to be a light fixture type of top,” said the officer. As he probed the probe he discovered two independent light sources: a heavy duty flash light, and a bicycle light.

Next the officer said, “I donned a pair of protective gloves and examined some of the clothing and discovered that several pockets in the outfits all contained a similar type of business or calling card. The top of each had a round circle, and directly beneath that was a large vessel that appeared to be an ‘Ark’ type craft. Under the ‘Ark’ were several vertical lines that emanated downward away from the bottom of the craft.”

The officer called a sergeant to also view the findings. In the end they were left with three possible scenarios: Could this be an unregistered art exhibit? Could this be a practical joke? Or, could this be … a possible documented "Rapture" occurrence.

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Story here from Wisconsin State Journal: http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/crime_and_courts/article_fcfcbfa8-87bb-11e0-814b-001cc4c03286.html

[shraby]

1. My guess is the students at the University had a good time

setting up the hoax.

[DiverDave]

2. What a premise for a book!

too cool, great stunt...OR WAS IT?? (Vincent Price voice) LOL

[Angry Dragon]

3. Take that, you Rapture denyers............