Know-Nothing Party Takes over Washington

[MineralMan]

www.newsyouneverknew.com

Know-Nothings Take Over Congress

Washington,DC - 1/6/11: As the House of Representatives convenes, the newly-elected Know-Nothing Party members are trying to learn something by reading the Constitution aloud in a putative "Teach-In" on the House floor. Prior to this reading, none of the new members had ever heard of the Constitution, so they're trying to figure out exactly what it means. Newly-elected House Member Rand Paul, one of the chief spokespersons of the Know-Nothing Party, said, "We're astounded that such a document exists, and our first order of business is to read it aloud so we can remember small portions of it. That's how we learned in grammar school, so we're going to try it in the House."

In related news, Know-Nothing Party representatives are dismantling the Climate Change Committee of the house. We asked Representative Paul about this. In response, he said, "Haven't you noticed the snowstorms everywhere? This Global Warming stuff is patent nonsense. You don't see people in Minneapolis walking around in shorts and Hawaiian shirts, now, do you? Show me the warming!"

The impact of the Know-Nothing Party takeover of the House of Representatives cannot be determined this early in the current Congress, but it appears that it will be substantial. What they don't know may hurt us all.