Possible Republican replacements for the current HCR bill

[jmowreader]

ANYTOWN, USA (Spurious News Network) -- They call it "Obamacare." And they hate it.

The Republicans haven't publicly announced the "replace" part of the "Repeal and Replace" strategerie for the bill they love to hate. So we did it for them.

BOEHNERCARE: Mandatory purchase of health insurance, no other reforms.

BONERCARE: "Adam and Eve" stores listed as approved providers for your mandatory health insurance.

RICKSCOTTCARE: Mandatory health insurance may only be used at Columbia/HCA-owned healthcare facilities.

ODONNELLCARE: Doctors required to follow the Wiccan Rede, arnica covered under mandatory health insurance.

CANTORCARE: Insurers allowed to set the deductible and premiums for your mandatory health insurance based on political leanings.

PALINCARE: Airfare from Texas to Alaska while you're in labor with a high-risk pregnancy, hearing loss from hunting wolves out of helicopters and third-degree frostbite covered 100 percent under your mandatory health insurance.

GINGRICHCARE: Mandatory health insurance not required to cover cancer care for women you ask for divorces from while they're still in the hospital.

FRISTCARE: Mandatory health insurance covers diagnoses made by doctors watching heavily-edited videos of patients.

CHENEYCARE: Facial gunshot wounds not covered under mandatory health insurance unless the victim apologizes to the shooter.

DOLECARE: No mandatory health insurance; instead, beneficiary expected to not get sick.

BUSHCARE: Co-pays waived for benzodiazepines prescribed under mandatory health insurance.

BARBOURCARE: Prisoners immediately released from jail if they get sick no matter what they did, so long as they purchase mandatory health insurance.

[liberal N proud]

1. They all think insurance companies know better than doctors.

[Motown_Johnny]

2. CHENEYCARE: A shotgun blast to the face