When the Messiah comes, the Right will crucify him. (Haaretz)

[kpete]

A Special Place in Hell
by Bradley Burston


When the Messiah comes, Israel will deport him
When the Messiah comes, the Right will crucify him.

................
When the Messiah is crucified, the army will deny that he was even present at the time.
.......................

When the Messiah comes, he will be without papers.

When the Messiah comes, he will be taken into a small room, off-white and chilled, with one gray metal chair at each side of a gray metal desk.

.........................

When the Messiah comes, no one will know.

His donkey, which is white and is named Snowpea, will be impounded in a leaky underground police lot near the Lod railroad station. There will be no paperwork. By nightfall it will have disappeared, spirited into a closed truck by the lot's watchman, who after his shift will drive the donkey to a moshav. Money will change hands, and the donkey as well, four times, until it is sold by settlers to Palestinians some of whose ancestral land now lies inside the settlement fence.

When the Messiah comes, the first sign will be a gag order.

THE REST:
http://www.haaretz.com/blogs/a-special-place-in-hell/when-the-messiah-comes-israel-will-deport-him-1.335566

[Drale]

1. There was a guy at the mall claiming to be Jesus

and I was thinking what if it was really him? The ultra religious nut jobs would probably kill him for being blasphemous.

EDIT: Imaging the impound guy's face when they show up to impound a white donkey HA!

[kpete]

2. more:

A coded report on a high-profile news website will be made to disappear. It will reappear on a blog in Seattle, and then in the Guardian. The government will delay response, finally issuing a statement ascribed to sources in Jerusalem, reading "We have no knowledge of this." The IDF, quoting an unnamed senior military official, will state that there is no evidence that a Messiah of any kind has come. It will later soften the denial, saying it is checking the report and directing reporters to the Defense Ministry, which turfs them to the Prime Minister's Office, which cannot be reached for comment.

more:
http://www.haaretz.com/blogs/a-special-place-in-hell/when-the-messiah-comes-israel-will-deport-him-1.335566

[patrice]

3. Some of us believe he never left and we have never stopped.

Most obvious current case in point: The people of Iraq and Afghanistan.

[RedCloud]

4. He better not come without a condom!

[AsahinaKimi]

5. I think it would be really funny

If the Buddha showed up and and everyone would be like .. WTF?? We didn't expect that!
He won't however, he's probably had enough of this planet.

[Kurovski]

6. A religious friend was just talking about this tonight.

Jesus better come with a whole big basket of his daddy's majick next time around.

[Violet_Crumble]

7. That was really good. Bradley Burston writes some awesome stuff n/t

[Cleita]

8. Or as my husband used to say,

"There would be no Second Coming because we didn't treat him very well the first time."

:rofl:

[mistertrickster]

9. He means, "When the Messiah comes, the Right will crucify him" AGAIN. nt