BorowitzReport Andy Borowitz

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I will be live-tweeting tomorrow's GOP debate, and will simulcast Michele Bachmann's remarks in English.

From the Borowitz Report: Perry Outlines Bold Plan to Repeal Twentieth Century: bit.ly/oUopvk

BREAKING: Koch Bros Acquire Naming Rights to Labor Day; Management Day to Debut in 2012

From the Borowitz Report: Rabid Dog Briefly Mistaken for Tea Party Candidate: bit.ly/oATjV7

Wednesday's GOP debate will be like an early round of "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"

The main qualification for a presidential candidate in 2012 appears to be a lobotomy.

Not sure if I want to watch Perry debate Bachmann Wed night. I didn't like "Dumb & Dumber."

The Tea Party is like a Predator drone: no one's in the cockpit but it's doing tons of damage.

Eric Cantor: 'Trillions Could Be Cut From Budget if We Eliminate Empathy': bit.ly/kCGCE3

Americans will not be happy until we find a way to fry oxygen.

Let's ignore the rumors about Rick Perry being a horndog and concentrate on the fact that he's an idiot.

The fact that there was an earthquake in Eric Cantor's district may mean God is cool with gays but despises sociopaths.

Study: An increasing number of Americans lack the reading and math skills to do anything but run for President.

The Republicans are getting so confident about beating Obama they've started admitting he was born here.

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