My apologies

[Proud Public Servant]

I just had a post removed. I'm not complaining. In it, I meant to suggest that the governance policies of some Southern states resemble those of a less developed country, like Mexico. But what I said was badly phrased, and I see now that it could be interpreted as if I were insulting the South for being full of Mexicans. Nothing could be further from the truth; anyone who knows me knows I'm as anti-racist (and pro-immigrant) as they come. But you all don't know me, so I apologize if anyone saw that post and took offense.

[monmouth]

1. Perhaps you should just read for a while...n/t

[tomg]

2. And that is why you are a Dem.

It is "sorry. I fucked up a little, but I really meant this. I didn't mean to offend anybody because I really don't believe that. I wrote badly" Versus the Republican " Sorry if my being a racist ( or whatever) offends you."

I can't tell you how many times I fucked up this way, once when I was giving (what I intended as) a major compliment. I still cringe.

Oh - and welcome to DU. My wife is also a proud public servant and a union rep.

[Scuba]

3. Me too. My post wasn't removed, but other DU'ers pointed out ....

... that my post was poorly crafted and failed to make the point I wanted. "Go back to Fox News", someone told me, which made me immediately realize what a bad post it was.

Thanks for accepting criticism and congratulations on your learning.

[Coyote_Bandit]

4. So.................?

You don't want to insult the South for being full of Mexicans - but you are perfectly happy to compare the South to a less developed country. Did I get that right?

[pintobean]

5. The guy's appologizing

You bring up a good question, but you could do it without the snark. I wouldn't blame him if he doesn't answer you. I'd like to know the answer.

[Coyote_Bandit]

9. I'm not sure

that an insult - even a backhanded and unintended one - is much of an appology.

I've found that vague and indirect inquiries often are ignored and go without response. And, frankly, I'm not sure there is a gracious way to ask if an insult was intended.

[Proud Public Servant]

8. Please, read my post again

I said that "the governance policies of some Southern states resemble those of a less developed country." I'd stand by that, especially when it comes to how Southern states deal with taxation, education, infrastructure, undermining labor organization, and attempting to legislate morality. As governance goes, it's rather third-world, and I say that as somebody who's spent a lot of time living in the third world. But slamming red-state governance isn't the same as blanketly dissing the South; I should hope that distinction would be clear.

[Coyote_Bandit]

10. Ummmm......

I imagine that you would take offense if someone compared the style, color, design, and furnishings in your home to (1) a devastated war zone, or (2) a filthy rodent infested abode, or (3) the temporary shelter of third world orphans that often make their home in the city dump.

It is entirely possible to criticize the policy (and to do so contructively) without attaching the negative imagery and stigma - and the insult they carry.

[emcguffie]

13. I'm from the South.

And I love the South. I consider what the poster said to be true. You don't? I mean the bit about the governance of SOME southern states. The poster was quite specific, but he/she didn't name which states.

I don't see how you got from there to where you are, without a very thin skin.

[trumad]

6. You're from Washington right?

Full of Asians.

[leftstreet]

12. .

:spray: :spank:

[MicaelS]

7. Reads just like more passive-agressive Southern bashing

Disguised as an apology.

[hfojvt]

11. apologize - (one of my favorite joke definitions)

"to end (or, more commonly, escalate) an argument by ostensibly taking the blame. Experts in the area (i.e. people who have spent a lot of time in male-female interactions) are able to make an apology in such a way as to cause the recipient of the apology to look like the guilty party and/or feel angrier than he or she did prior to receiving the apology. It is important to remember that the purpose of an apology is not to accept blame, but rather to make a sarcastic or disparaging comment and yet later be able to say 'I apologized, what more do you want?'

The following are examples of right ways and wrong ways to apologize to your mate:

Bad apology (BA) - It was my fault.

Good apology (GA) - I'm sure it must be my fault - it usually is, isn't it? You never do anything wrong?

BA - Please forgive me.

GA - Well, exc-u-u-u-u-se me.

BA - I'm sorry

GA - I'm sorry if I didn't follow your orders to the letter, general!

BA - I apologize

GA - I'm just sorry that you are so paranoid and so insecure that you cannot look at this realistically."

from "Men who hate women, and the women who hate them: the masochistic art of dating" by Nancy Linn-Desmond


Not to pick on your apology, which really is not necessary anyway for you to post an apology. It is likely that very few people even saw your post, and that even fewer were offended. People will also often take what is said and look for reasons to get offended. Such is the liberal way, as the list of prohibited words and protected groups keeps growing and growing. Someday, it may even get big enough to include the white male. (at least I have a dream that it will).

One of the ways I try to create a more peaceful society is by making people laugh, even if it is only by quoting other people's jokes.