Female ‘vampire’ busted for trying to eat elderly man

[Are_grits_groceries]

An elderly Florida man needed stitches Wednesday after a 22-year-old woman announced she was a vampire and began biting his face and neck.

Milton Ellis, 69, said that he had fallen asleep in his electric wheelchair on the porch of a vacant Hooters in St. Petersburg. He awoke to find Josephine Smith on top of him.

"I’m a vampire, I am going to eat you," Smith told Ellis, according to an affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun.

St. Petersburg police said that Smith had bitten chunks off of Ellis' face and part of his lip.
<snip>
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/09/08/female-vampire-busted-for-trying-to-eat-elderly-man/

Wish it was 'The Onion.' They should be out of business soon because real events are overtaking them.

[Are_grits_groceries]

1. Then there is this crime spree in Fairfax county, VA

Serial butt slasher attacking women shoppers in Virginia stores, cops say

(CBS/AP) - Authorities say they are hunting for a serial butt slasher after a string of attacks on young women in shopping malls throughout Fairfax County, Virginia.

According to police spokesperson Lucy Caldwell, the latest attack occurred at Fair Oaks mall around 5:30 p.m. Monday.
<snip>
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20084125-504083.html

Now you need kevlar underwear.

[LARED]

2. Wait!!

fallen asleep in his electric wheelchair on the porch of a vacant Hooters

How does that happen?

[Bluebear]

3. ...

Exactly my question lol

[independentpiney]

4. What- a vacant hooters?

Wierd

[Are_grits_groceries]

6. That was the kicker to the story.nt

[NeedleCast]

18. In St. Petersburg no Less

Isn't that the home of Hooters?

[Uncle Joe]

21. That has the makings for a good country song

along the lines of "I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison."

[Bluebear]

22. Don't give them any ideas

[malaise]

5. Getting up off the floor

Great start to the day :rofl:

[Ineeda]

7. Florida seems to be the asylum of this country.

And I chose to live here. Should I worry? :crazy:

[sudopod]

8. Totally missed the vacant Hooters part on the first run.

seriously, wtf? :p

[Historic NY]

9. Damn blood suckers they're all over the place.

Vacant Hooters....... :wow:

[d_r]

10. One thing about living in St. Pete I could never stomach

all the damn vampires.

But seriously, when are we going to start taking care of the mentally ill?? Both of these folks - the vampire and the victim - are poster children for what is wrong with the mental health system in this country-

[Aerows]

11. Oh my

I used to live in St. Pete. Apparently, there is still no shortage of crazy.

[trumad]

12. Shit---and Wesley Snipes is locked up in a Florida Prison.

Coincidence---I don't think so.

[Aerows]

13. LOL - He could have prevent all of this

If he would have just paid his taxes.

[deutsey]

14. Here's a photo of them

The FOX report this is from says this happened around midnight?

Why would a guy in his electric wheelchair be sleeping at a vacant Hooters at midnight?

[deutsey]

15. They were homeless, apparently

The (story) begins just before midnight, as most horror tales do. The two strangers with no place to go met at a gas station, the Shell on Roosevelt Boulevard in St Petersburg, police said.

"He was staying near an overhang near the vacant Hooter's restaurant so he thought it might be a good place for her to stay," said Mike Puetz of the St. Petersburg Police Department.

http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/dpp/news/offbeat/police%3A-man-says-he-was-bitten-by-vampire-090911

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

16. Vampires drink blood! Ghouls eat the corpses!

Why can't these people get their facts straight?

Werewolves can and will eat people, but usually only those they like.

Those possessed by a Wendigo also eat people, typically starting with their closest family.
(I was once possessed by a Wendigo, but I had to give it up. All those vegetarian hikers just didn't sit well in my system :evilgrin: )

[Nye Bevan]

17. I *hate* when that happens (nt)

[MilesColtrane]

19. How horrible

[mysuzuki2]

20. as a 60 something man, I would not mind waking up

to a 22 year old woman on top of me. The biting my face off part, not so much.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

23. There are hickeys, and there are HICKEYS!