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Not sure how to word this, so as not to offend those who are fed up with the "terrorist" meme. I don't want to offend anyone. Yet I find myself crying, so sad ...
Why do we let "them" take god for themselves? Why do we so willingly give them the patriotism they claim to own?
I was an army brat. My daddy was a Sargent in the army. I remember leaving New York harbor on the U.S.S. Rose in 1956, going to Germany ... the Stars Spangled Banner playing by the military band. It was a special moment, even then, as a child, I was touched, and filled with a pride I didn't even understand. I also remember, years later, fighting with my daddy when the kids at Kent State were mowed down by the National Guard. It damn near broke us as family. I remember dancing in Kileen, Texas, circa early '50s,for my daddy, to the Lucky Strike Hit Parade on the radio. I was probably only 5 years old, or so. So much for context.
I am all over the place on this 9/11 anniversary. My Mom, a German war bride, and my "Archie Bunker" Daddy, are long gone by 20 years or so. And I miss them. I wonder every day what they would think about what has happened over these years when they weren't here to argue politics, or share Sunday morning coffee with me, when I fought them for equal rights for all, yelling at my Mother that she was a fucking foreigner, and had no right to put herself above Black Americans, who were rightfully "more American" than she was. God, I was a shit, sometimes. I said such hurtful things to her, even though I knew she went through hell, running to bomb shelters in Germany at age 17 with my half-sister. She was 17. A CHILD. Her Father died in a Russian concentration camp, her brother, killed in Italy. No wonder she had "issues."
I am all over the place. This "terrorist shit" that so many are sick & tired of... I watch the buildings come down, the planes come down, the people of this country come down. I watch it again. It is my penance. My heart BREAKS. I refuse to let the fundie bastards claim this as their day. It is not. It is all of ours.
My thoughts, my prayers (such as they are) go out to all who lost, which of course is all of us. My admiration and love to all the heroes, you make me so proud.
"God bless America." And to those who think it isn't "cool" to utter these words, maybe some day you will understand.
I am all over the place.
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