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Happy Birthday, Commander Bunnypants!
Did you blow out those twin candles on your yellowcake?
What a good little boy you are, Commander BP!
Did you get the present we had delivered to the Oval?
Saddam's very own pistol!
It only cost us 3 trillion dollars.
Only the very best for our Commander Bunnypants!
Merry Christmas, Commander Bunnypants!
Atta boy, you know who your REAL friends are.
Your base in the oil and MIC worlds,
Are expecting to be PNAC'd and paid off now!
Oh, but wait! You Shock'd and Awe'd the wrong country?
Bad, bad Commander Bunnypants!
Unless one is a stockholder in Halliburton or Carlyle or Blackwater.
They are all saying, with tax cut in hand (wink wink),
Good, good Commander Bunnypants!
Happy Hannukah, Commander Bunnypants!
While the rest of us have all been Bandar'd about,
al Qaeda'd and Osama'd and Khalid Sheikh Mohammed'd'd'd'd
With dreams of virgins in heaven, (Mmmm... 72... Yummy!)
Wearing Perle necklaces, riding Scooters, eating boxes of Condi,
Your heartless Dick is in its bunker running the operation,
While Commander Bunnypants reads My Pet Goat!
Ramadan Mubarak, Commander Bunnypants!
Oh, you finally got around to Afghanistan and the Taliban?
But, but, there are holes in Tora Bora,
Large enough for a dialysis machine (or an oil pipeline) to slip through!
Your 23 percenters say you can do no wrong,
It's a crusade, they all know (wink wink).
It'll be OK, as long as we just buy Freedom Fries and Jim Beam,
Everything will be just chimpy,
Because Commander Bunnypants has accomplished his mission!
Happy Halloween, Commander Bunnypants!
Those ghosts that you see everyday,
Of thousands of soldiers dressed up like Pat and Jessica,
Are the ghost of a once-great nation.
But it's all OK, because today
The 23 percenters and your FOXy friends in the media,
Are blaming the Black Guy
For the destruction you wrought.
Lucky Ducky, Commander Bunnypants!
Happy New Year, Commander Bunnypants!
Maybe next year you'll be gone,
To the Hague or to Hell or to Houston (shudder!!)
"You won't have Commander Bunnypants to kick around anymore!"
Is Jeb now the head of the Family Evil Empire?
Is he waiting 'til '16 to steal back the White House?
You've been so quiet, Commander Bunnypants,
We'd almost forgotten all about you!
So, have a Happy 9/11, Commander Bunnypants!
It's what made you.
You would have gone down in history,
As a one-termer somewhere between Chester Arthur and Millard Fillmore,
But now you get to be the very worst pretzeldent ever!
So congratulations, and...
Happy Birthday, Commander Bunnypants!
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