Some thoughts about 9/11 - Instant reply

[The Straight Story]

10 years ago I rushed home from work after the attacks. My in-laws had been flying that day, daughter was about 6 months old, wife was home alone and scared.

That day we really had no idea what was going on. That night was an eerie silence as for the first time I can ever recall there were no planes overhead (with the exception of a long jet fighter we heard).

Days of uncertainly, then anthrax in mail and every time you got the mail you wondered a little.

I went to the gas station that day and gas was higher than it is now with lines. People were uncertain, wondering what was coming next - if anything.

Today is like an instant replay - except today we know now what we did not then (or least, we know a lot more).

We can watch it on TV and turn away to cook dinner. Not worried, we know how this movie ended. Our cell phones are not lit up with messages, friends and relatives might be off flying and there might be only a tinge of fear vs a full blown panic. We are not mass posting updates, channel flipping for more information, etc.

And yet - like an episode of PTSD we flipped back, even if briefly, to those moments and remember what we felt, where we were.

I have the luxury of not having anyone I know personally die that day.

But every December 31 since 2004 I remember my mom passing and it all comes flooding back to me and I cry.

Today I know that I can watch some of the coverage and it is different. But for some, far too many, that day was the last one that they saw someone they loved.

For them it is not an instant replay where you can watch, it is like seeing my mom laying dead at the hospital that night - the anniversary rips your heart out as you remember the last things you said, did with that person, the last time you heard their voice.

No one plays that day for me on TV, no one even talks to me about it - but sometimes, I wish I could gather with friends and remember together instead of alone, to share it with both smiles and tears (well, I usually can here - and I am grateful for that).

For those who lost someone this day 10 years ago in an event we all saw and felt - just know that you are not alone and I am glad to remember this day with you. It affected me less than you directly, but I understand loss with you.

Politics, news, wars, etc aside - I am glad you are not alone in your remembrance.

[Ohio Joe]

1. Thanks

I came here today and was going to talk about it but to be honest, after seeing the threads here today I do not feel like it.

[gateley]

2. K&R -- Wonderful post, Straight Story. nt

[The Straight Story]

3. Thanks - meant to have replay in title not reply, but then storm hit and too late to fix :)

Nice rain though, could have done without the power problems....

[gateley]

4. We knew what you meant. :-) nt